Can suckk mah bawlzzzz
ugg in bed all day, my room is hotter then hell.
my head, eyes, ears, throat, it all hurts. standing up makes me dizzy, and ontop of all this, pms.
fuck mylife i work in the morning.

I thought that it would be a good idea to watch youtube video's before I went to sleep. Guess who didnt go to sleep. YAAY

Everytime you walk out that door, all I can think is that when you take that job, you will not be walking back through it and secretly it kills me on the inside.
I want to be supportive I really do. So I can pretend for now I guess. You still have to look into the job, but if you take it, and you leave. . . I'm gonna be kinda sorta extremely sad if you want to under estimate it I guess?

Boxing day: Driving Shayden and dayton to the hockey game, stop for a C-Train, get rear-ended by a truck.
Yesterday: Find out there is at least $1,000 in damages more then what my vehicle is worth, and have to start to get ready for battle royal against the other insurance company.
today: go to get errands done, get not even 5 minutes away from my house and find out I have a flat tire.

Good night world I'm going to bed for a while.

40 not so secret Secrets - Be honest no matter what.

ONE: Who was your last text from? Shayden

TWO: Where was your default pic taken at? bugs van on scenic.

THREE: What's your middle name? M

FOUR: Your current relationship status? Taken ♥

FIVE: Does your crush like you back? I sure hope so.

SIX: What is your current mood? meh.

SEVEN: What's your moms name? Liz

EIGHT: What color shirt are you wearing? Green

NINE: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yeah!!!

TEN: If you could go back in time and change something,would you? a few things

ELEVEN: Have a crazy side? Most Definitely

TWELVE: Ever had a near death experience? Many.

THIRTEEN: Something you do a lot? work.

FOURTEEN: Angry at anyone? a few people

FIFTEEN: Do you wanna see somebody right now? yeah

SEVENTEEN: When was the last time you cried? Last night

EIGHTEEN: Who would you do anything for? The twins, Shayden +his family, certain family members and friends

NINETEEN: Who are your heroes? uhh peoples.

TWENTY: What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first? eyes/smile

TWENTY-TWO: What's your biggest secret? No one will EVER KNOW!!!

TWENTY-THREE: Where is your ex? fuck if i care.

TWENTY-FOUR: Would you ever take them back? not a chance in hell.

TWENTY-FIVE: Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? yeah!

TWENTY-SIX: What are you eating or drinking at the moment?nuffin

TWENTY-SEVEN: Do you speak any other languages? kinda.. maybe

TWENTY-EIGHT: Whats your favorite smell? clean linnen.

THIRTY: Do you pick your nose? No

THIRTY-ONE: Do you like the rain? Depends on the day and how cold it is

THIRTY-TWO: What are you thinking about right now? That I really need a drink

THIRTY-THREE: What should you be doing right now? sleep.

THIRTY-FOUR: What is your favorite memory? I have a lot of favourite memories, so I'm not really sure.

THIRTY-FIVE: What are you listening to? Music

THIRTY-SIX: Who was the last person you told I love you to? Momma and Shayden

THIRTY-SEVEN: Who was the last person you yelled at? one of the twins.

THIRTY-EIGHT: Do you act differently around the person you like? No

THIRTY-NINE: What is your natural hair color? red/

FORTY: Who was the last person to make you smile? Shayden


ROUND TWO

120 THINGS ABOUT ME ...
(001) Your gender: Female
(002) Straight/gay/bi?: strait
(003) Single?: Nope.
(004) Want to be?: Nope
(005) Age?: 20
(006) Age you wish you were?: 16
(007) Your label?: whore
(008) Your height?: 5'3
(009) Your eye color?: blue
(010) Any piercings?: 2 on each earlobe,
(011) Any tattoos?: I wish.

DO YOU...
(012) Smoke: nope
(013) Drink: yeah
(014) Do drugs: nope
(015) Read the newspaper: nope/
(016) Talk to strangers who IM you: No
(017) Like to walk in the leaves: If they're crunchy
(018) Take walks in the rain: Only if it's warm rain
(019) Drive: When my mother isn't stressed or around
(020) Like to drive fast?: kinda
(021) Hurt yourself: not on purpose, but I"m not that graceful
(022) Have a job: Yeah
(023) Like who you are: I have my moments.
(024) Consider love a mistake: Not at this moment.
(025) Base your judgment on looks alone: No
(026) Do you like/love someone?: Yeah.

HAVE YOU EVER...
(027) Been caught doing something your weren't supposed to be doing?: Yeah
(028) Been in love: Yeah.
(029) Done drugs: maybe
(030) Gone skinny dipping: nope
(031) Had a surgery: Nope
(032) Ran away from home: a few times (nothing major, came back that nigh #Pussy )
(033) Played strip poker: yup
(034) Gotten beat up: Yupp
(035) Been on stage: yeah
(036) Slept outdoors: yeah
(037) Pulled an all-nighter: yup
(038) Talked on the phone all night: oh yeah
(039) Had an X-ray: no.
(040) Had detention: sweet talked my way out of it.
(041) Been suspended: No
(042) Been Expelled: No
(043) Slept all day: Yeah
(044) Killed someone: nope
(045) Made out with a stranger: maybe......
(046) Had sex with a stranger?: nope.
(047) Kissed the same sex: nope
(048) Done anything sexual with the same sex: nope
(049) Been betrayed: Yeah
(050) Broken the law: Ohh yeahh
(051) Been arrested: No
(052) Been on radio/TV: maybe
(053) Been in a mosh-pit: Yup
(054) Had a nervous breakdown: Yeah
(056) Had a dream that kept coming back: Yeah, but lets not go there
(057) Seen your favorite band play: Yeah
(058) Owned a pair of big sunglasses: Mmmhm
(059) Worn a huge hat: yeah
(060) Judged other people by their clothing: a little
(061) Been told you have good taste: Yeah
(062) Been romantically attracted to someone and physically unattracted?: No
(063) Been used?: Yeah
(064) Been in an abusive relationship?: not really.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
(065) Life on other planets: Yeah
(066) Miracles: Not really
(067) Astrology: meh
(068) Magic: Not really
(069) God: Fuck no.
(070) The Devil: No
(071) True Love: Yeah
(072) Ghosts: Yeah
(073) Rebirth: yupp
(074) Love at first sight: nope/
(075) Ying and Yang?: No
(076) Witches: No
(077) The Easter Bunny: ROFL
(078) Santa Clause: ROFLVI

LAST PERSON...
(079) That you laughed at: twins.
(080) That laughed at you: Twins.
(081) That hurt you: lets not go there
(081) That turned you on: Shayden...duh
(082) That kissed you: Shayden.
(083) That hugged you: The twins.
(084) That you went shopping with: Alex
(085) To disappoint you: myself.
(086) That made you cry: myself/Shayden.
(087) That brightened up your day: Shayden
(088) You saw a movie with: Shayden
(089) You talked to on the phone: Twins mom.
(090) You talked to on text message: Bug
(091) You to on IM: no one.
(092) That made you smile: SHayden
(093) That made you laugh: Shayden
(094) That saw you cry: Shayden
(095) That bought you something: Shayden. . . . my big puupy
(096) That danced with you: Shayden
(097) That you have a crush on: yeup shayden.

That awkward gut wrenching moment when you look back in time and can only remember the good memories, and think you've made a horrible choices in life.

I ain't, I ain't coming back.
I've already been there, done that.
And I'm done with you messing with my mind.
The last times the last time, baby.
I can only change who I am so much, and all I can give is all my love.
And my love ain't never been enough.
So I ain't coming back.
I've been there, done that.

I know my fears get in the way, and I know they piss you off, and I am sorry for that. I would like to see you do the things I do without some one standing making sure everything is fine.

All these pictures are what I wanted when I was younger. and maybe just maybe. Baby I found it.

So maybe where I am isn't where I said I would be when I was 15. And non of this is what I imagined. Okay most of it isn't.
1. I'm living in calgary still, with a parents at that.
2. I'm not with the person I thought that I would be, or thought I should be with, and it actually turns out for the better. The man I have now is way better.
3. I'm not some type of famous
4. I have no kids, and I'm not married.
5. I'm missing some people in my life who I wish wouldn't have walked away, especially right now.

Getting this off the ground. yay..
Just need a few more people to sign pages and I can start to apply to jobs YAAAAY

I never thought you of all people would turn out this way. It's not a bad thing, it's just odd to see I guess.
Giving up, letting go and moving on, has never been so good for me. Dwelling on the past makes everything harder then it needs to be.
I can't believe the way that you make me feel sometimes. So happy, so Amazing. Things didn't start or work out fairy-tale and they deffs are not like that now, but that is also good for me. I needed to bring my head down from the clouds and as much as you do that you make me feel like I'm still floating.

I know it's all girly like of me to be posting something like this but.
1 month. soo happy.

WHAT is your fucking issue with this?!!?
things have barly gotten started and you are trying to fuck them up? your immaturity is pissing us all off.
what ever your issue is deal with it. what ever your head games are shove them up your own ass. I am happy with where I am with who I am with and most importantly I am happy with who I am right now. So jump on the fucking band wagon and except what's going on, OR shut the fuck up. I explained it to you over and over, and I told you tons I warned you, you claim you saw this coming. stop being an ass.

♥
Things are working out for the most part.