so things have changed. I'm not the same and you sure as hell aren't either. wanna make up? play nice? I am pretty much not good at anything. I sometimes work hard. I almost always get good grade. I used to do everything for the future and now I'm confused because how am I supposed to know when the future starts? I'm not a bad person. I am a bad person. I like it in books and movies when the bad guy wins. I think that is more realistic. I don't like it when someone turns good. That's crap. We don't live in a perfect world, get used to it, or die trying. I'm confused. About myself about life. It's 'natural' I'm sure because honestly.. how can anything NOT be natural. Everything that anyone human is possible to do is NATURAL. We're able to do it therefore it is natural. Obviously. What is YOUR definition of natural then? I'm not religious. I never really had a chance. That's a lie. I've just never taken the time to look far enough into something to completely understand it and ONLY believe in that specifically. I don't like close-minded people. I ramble. A lot. NO I DO NOT TALK THAT MUCH IN REAL LIFE. IF I DON'T KNOW YOU SO WHAT. I hate it when people say 'you don't talk enough.' because honestly? screw you. If I have nothing to say, I'm not going to talk, sorry to burst your bubble, if I DO have something to say I probably won't say it anyway because of people like you. I doubt anyone's going to read this because that would just be too good. Wow, I sound depressed but that's okay because I'm not. 'Emo' is a stupid phrase and you're not 'emo' if you own black nail polish. People deserve the right to do what they want when they want with who they want and to kill themselves if that's what it takes. I like to sleep in and don't like 'long walks on the beach' I'm different and that's good. I've changed. A lot. I change a lot more e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. deal with it mmkay? I'm not as nasty as I make myself sound here. I'm just tired which is my excuse for everything and I feel like typing all my thoughts out and so that is what I am doing. I'm NOT happy all the time. I like it when people think I'm smart although I hate letting them down when they find out I'm not. I have low self-esteem and wish people would understand and accept that and learn to say what they really think about me because it cant ALL be bad. I'm confused again.. And I've been to so many schools. This year I went to a bunch just in the first semester because I was suspended. Just Kidding. My family was -- well it's not important but anyway now I don't have a group at my school really and was sort of kicked out of one. At least thats what it feels like to me, but it doesn't matter because I'm going to stupid Burnaby North next year anyway. yippee [note the incredible sarcasm] I better be doing AP there because that's the whole reason I'm going and the stupid lady at the stupid school is a asdfklja;lsdfkjl;ksdfj -ass. She doesn't want me there possibly even more than i dont want to GO there. I have given up on all my volunteer-ey things which is stupid because now is when I'm going to need them. I tend to do things in 2 year periods. I'm getting more 'mature' or whatever and noticing guys more. I've never been in a relationship. ever. Not sure if I'm ready still. It comes in waves where I get lonely then those feelings go away. I wish someone would understand me. I wish the world would change for the better. I wish dreams came true. I wish I could stop complaining because my life is damn amazing.

The End


im not running *anymore;



When elmo isn`t ticklish, and pooh bear hates honey,
When tigger stops bouncing, and Goofy isn`t funny.
When peter pan can`t fly, and simba never roars,
When alice in wonderland can`t fit through small doors.
When dumbo`s ears are small, and happily ever after isn`t true . .
that`s when i'll stop loving you.[/size]
*[/size]*[/size][/color]

hey y'all if you want to message me or comment on my wall or whatever then dont. because i'm not ever going to see it. i like talking sure.. but i never check this and then it just deletes itself. like how this is going to be deleted soon enough. so talk to me on facebook or on msn or on email or whatever, but dont bother trying to talk to me here cause then i'll be sad. cause it makes me sad to see the whole '5 messages 3 comments' thing and then go and check them and see nothing there cause it got 'automagically' deleted. lovees <3

xoxo.




[/font]

vrindavana.

isn't it easy to see, i'm falling for you.

I wonder if maybe when I pass by his stomach does a flip?
does he get nervous? does he ignore his friends, just to look at me?
does he wait to see my smile? does he get sweaty palms?
does he think to himself ... "oh gosh here she comes"?[/center][/font][/size]







"...And that was the greatest day of my entire life"
"What about when I was born?"
"Not even close"

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")




"Cause you know what, tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up, quit? I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.”



One day I’m gonna just walk out on life… one day I’ll just say goodbye.. and walk off the stage and go on the endless road to destiny. I dunno where Im going to end up, I don’t know who I’ll be by the time I reach the sun, but im gonna make it… im going to get there, you just watch. Im gonna show you I can do this, Im gonna make you sorry for not believing me… one day, I’ll get up enuff courage. one day.