多くの願いを持っている、
日本に行きたい・・・
東京に行きたい・・・
京都に行きたい・・・
友達を会いたい・・・
あなたが懐かしい・・・・
I walk down the busy make-shift street, dragging my feet at a sluggish pace. My freshly pressed uniform smothers me. The harsh rays of the sun beat down on me from directly above. I'm not quite used to the heat. Other Soldiers I dont know rush past me, nodding a quick greeting before carrying on. Just like me, they are here for their loved ones their wife, their child, their mother, and their friends. They are who they fight to protect. I study each face, praying silently for their safety.
I reach my destination; a small lounge near the bath houses. The walls are a deep beige canvas, held together with steel bars heated by the sun. Its a little more crowded than usual, men playing a game of pool and enjoying drinks. I see a group of women laughing over a tabloid magazine I recognize as last months issue. In a dimly lit corner I see a group of men and women, still in their dusty uniform, standing out from the rest in the building. They sit around an unbalanced table in metal fold chairs, barely speaking to each other, eyes cast to the ground.
Greetings are simple, but warm. I can feel their stiff tired muscles when we share brief embraces. Two empty chairs are open and I find my place within the group.
Stories are shared. We all know them. Memories of peaceful times at home fill the air around us. Swimming at the lake side cabin. Jumping over the summer campfire. Skipping classes to go snowboarding. We push fake smiles to our faces as we remember these times; they all seem so far away now, so childish.
I glance at the last remaining empty chair, knowing its own story.
Tristan loved snowboarding, I say.
All eyes focus on the empty chair.
-----
Something I wrote in grade 12, shortly after a close friend died serving overseas.
He leaned over the railing staring into the river flowing below, his dark hair blowing in the breeze. It was wide and very deep; he could see the strong current moving fast. The boy took a shaky breath in, glancing around to make sure no one would witness what he was about to do. He was in a pretty secluded area of the city, and saw no one. Slowly he pulled himself onto the railing.
He looked again at the water below him. He needed to do this; he couldnt stand living anymore. Tears crept into his eyes as he thought about his parents; or what he remembered of them. The accident had happened when he was still quite young, shortly after his fifth birthday. He had no photos or any other mementos to remember them by. A social worker had been allowed in to grab some clothes and basics to take with him to the orphanage, but he himself hadn't been allowed to even enter his home. One of his Uncles had control over all his parents property and refused to give any of it to him. None of them wanted him, and so they handed him off for the state to take care of him. What was left of his family hated him, and he hated his family.
Not that life at the orphanage was any better. He was always a quiet boy, which didnt help him in the rough and loud setting he was thrust into. In the nearly ten years of living there he had made no friends, in-fact most of the kids thought him strange. He didnt know why but everyone seemed afraid to go near him. Even the care takers kept him at arms length, only talking to him when necessary. He had little memories from before the accident so he couldnt remember if he had friends then; somehow he figured he didnt. He was alone.
He figured it was all the more reason he should jump. He had wanted to take his life for a while now, since he started overhearing some of the adults call him unwanted and a burden. He had finally made up his mind and came here to carry out his plan.
He played with a zipper on his pocket, building his courage to jump. He wondered how cold the water was it was only spring after all. He then decided it shouldnt matter; he hoped his death would be quick enough that he wouldnt have to feel the extremely cold water surrounding him. He then started to think about the rivers depth; would he hit the bottom hard enough to break a leg or his back? Or was it deep enough that the water would break his fall and simply carry him until he drowned?
Before he could decided which option he would prefer, a small voice called out to him. What are you doing up there? He turned slowly, making sure not to fall into the rushing water below before he was ready. He didnt hear the girl walk up to him, but there she was, about three feet away from him, leaning against the railing he was currently standing on. Her hair was in little ringlets, two little buns on the top of her head. She looked much younger than him. She looked so innocently at him, a small smile on her face.
ILeave me alone Im busy! He yelled at the girl, suddenly wanting her as far away from him as possible. She didnt budge from her spot though, and just continued to look up at him, her blue eyes shining.
You look sad She said, reaching her hand for his, Please come down.
The boy sighed, the way she looked at him was making him uncomfortable. Im not coming down; I told you Im busy! Now leave me alone little girl. He winced internally at his coldness towards her. He knew she was only being nice, and here he was being rude to her. He sighed again.
What are you doing? Are you looking for something? She asked, ever so innocently, not seeming to notice his harsh words before. I can help you find it; my mommy said I have really good eyes. She started scanning the river below, as if she knew what she was looking for.
Im not looking for anything, go away! He was getting really frustrated now. Tears again came to his eyes. He just wanted to get this over with, why was she making it so hard by being here. He turned his face away from the stranger, trying to hide his tears from her. He felt so vulnerable around her, he didnt know why.
He felt her hand grab his, very gently as if she were touching a wild animal. Her skin was soft and warm. This was probably the kindest and most sincere human contact he had felt since before the accident.
Please dont cry She said; hints of tears in her voice. He finally turned to look at her, seeing that she was indeed crying. Is she crying for me? She doesnt know me? Why is she crying? Slowly he got down off the railing, the girl never let go of his hand the entire time. She wiped tears from her eyes with her free hand. I dont like it when people cry. She admitted to him, pouting.
I Im sorry Now on the ground he took a better look at the girl. She seemed to be older than he originally thought, probably about six. Her eyes, the tears now gone, looked back at him curiously.
Are you still busy? She asked, tilting her head to one side. She tightened her grip on his hand, her hand feeling tiny in his, even if he was only a few years older.
The raven haired boy shook his head, No He was surprised by his own answer, but he knew inside he couldnt go through with his plan now. She was so innocent and clearly had no intention of letting him go anytime soon. He figured he might as well entertain her until she had to leave to go home.
She smiled at his answer, causing a small smile to reach the corners of his own mouth. She grabbed his other hand, starting to jump and pull him. Lets go play! My favorite park is just over the bridge! Its a lot of fun. They have a slide and a playground. They even have swings!
The boy couldnt hold his smile any longer, the girls eagerness contagious. Ok, just for a bit though.
The two ran to the park and played until the sun started to set. He felt a little weird playing with her, The girls mother came to the park looking for her, and the boy watched the girl jump into her mothers arms. He was about to sneak away before the girl started making a fuss for her mother to let her go. The young blonde ran over, grabbing the boys arm with a panicked look on her face.
We can play again right? I love playing with friends She looked at him again with those large innocent eyes. He wasnt sure what to say. Could he? The center allowed kids to come as far as this park to play; that was how he had gotten to the bridge. But would he be around to play with her? What about his plan? Did she call him a friend? He felt all his resolve crumble as he stared at the girl latched onto him.
Yes, we can play again.
高校の時、多くの友達を持っていた。ジェシはあたしの親友だった。でも、卒業後私たちは離れてお互いからだった・・・いつも彼のことを考えている。
しかし、お互い頻々チャット。彼ともうじき会いたい!
今晩、我々はチャット、懐かしい気持ちになる~
昔々、男の子は豪華なビーチ沿いを歩いていた。彼はビーチで一人で美しい少女に気づいた。彼はその少女に行き、「こんにちは。参加します?」と言います。少女は即座に受け入れた、それらの二人一緒に遊んで楽しんだ。
その後、彼らは良い友達になって、お互いのことを考えずに眠ることができませんでした。一日、美しい少女のボーイフレンドに彼女の愛を示すことにしました。彼女は彼と結婚することを提案し!
男の子は女の子の決定に嬉しがる。彼らは友人や家族とビーチで結婚しました。一対と子ども、これまで幸せに暮らしました。
Another translation to practice my Japanese, here is the original Lyrics with my translation underneath:
胸騒ぎとともに眠りについた夜更け
とても悲しい夢を見ていたのを覚えている
その朝予感は沈黙を破るように
鳴り出した電話で現実のものとなった
心に消えない傷跡を残したまま
あなたは一人星になった
さよならね
もう二度と会えない場所へ行ったのね
永遠の別れの冷たさを受け止められずに
聞かせてほしかった
嘘で構わないから
あたしはあなたに確かに愛されてたって
たった一度でいいから
終わりなきはずの悲しみは幕を閉じて
季節もかわって寒さがやけに身にしみるけど
あれは忘れもしない夏の始まりの日で
あたしの代わりに今年は空が泣き続けた
だってあまりにも夢の続きの様で
まだ泣くことさえもできないまま
さよならね
最後の言葉さえ届かない
別れの冷たさを嫌ってほど思い知らせれる
聞かせてほしかった
嘘で構わないから
過ごしたあの日をくやんだりしてないんだって
たった一度でいいから
どうしてそうやって最後の最後まで
ねえ思い出だけを置いてくの
さよならね
もう二度と会えない場所へ行ったのね
永遠の別れの冷たさを受け止められずに
聞かせてほしかった
嘘で構わないから
あたしはあなたに確かに愛されてたって
たった一度でいいから
これはただの夢の続きの物語で
あたしはまだ目が覚めてないだけと言って
I remember, I went to sleep that night feeling uneasy
And had a very sad dream
The phone started to ring in the morning, breaking the silence
And the dream became a reality
Leaving a scar on my heart
You became a star by yourself
Sayonara (Goodbye)
You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal farewell
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it was a lie
The sorrow I thought was endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year
I feel as if I were living in a continuation of my dream
And I can't even cry now
Sayonara (Goodbye)
Even my last words don't reach you
I've realized the coldness of farewell
I wish I could have heard from you
That you never regretted the days we had spent together
Only once, even if it was a lie
Why did you do it this way
Leaving memories only to the very end?
Sayonara (Goodbye)
You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal farewell
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it was a lie
Please tell me this is only the story of the dream
And that I'm not yet awake
Dictated & translated by myself, enjoy!
Japanese/Kanji
あの夏の想い出は、今もまだ鮮やかなまま
いつだって思い出すなら、あなたと二人がいい
あの夏の想い出は、今もまだ鮮やかなまま
いつだって思い出すなら、あなたと二人がいい
On friday night, 目と目が合って
On saturday, 近付いたね
On tuesday, 確かになった
On friday night, 巡った
あの夏の想い出は、今もまだ鮮やかなまま
いつだって思い出すなら、あなたと二人がいい
夢中になって恋して、そのうちに愛して
それが運命なんだって信じていたかった
lalalalalalala....
あの夏は思いきり、日焼した肌寄せ合って
叫んだり泣いたりしても、それでも、伝えたかった
English
Memories of that Summer are still vivid
When I remember it, I wanna be with you
Memories of that Summer are still vivid
When I remember it, I wanna be with you
On Friday night, our eyes met
On Saturday, I approached him
On Tuesday, We were certain
On Friday night, It was over
Memories of that Summer are still vivid
When I remember it, I wanna be with you
Crazy in love, quickly in love
I wanted to believe it was destiny
lalalalalalala....
That summer, tanned skin close together
Shouting and crying, still, I wanted to tell you
Fun & upbeat summer song!
Utada's last single before going on hiatus in 2011
