I'm Back From Elkford. Larger Than Life And Twice As Ugly

I WANT TO THANK MY SISTER KIM FOR TRICKING OUT MY PAGE, SISTER AND BEST FRIEND WAT A SWEET COMBO!

Enjoy my profile I promise if u want to laugh u will! but before i begin the fun i wanna do a quick little overview of who i am without any jokes. Don't worry it's just one paragraph of boring facts.

My name legally is Thomas James Rip Klufas. Rip was my grandfather's nickname derived from Rip Van Winkle. I graduated from Strathcona Highschool, GO LORDS! I love soccer and ten pin bowling. Going for walks or sitting in the rain is great. I'm pretty cool about my body and not afraid to show it off even though its not too great. Orange is my favorite color and i like fruit. I don't do drugs or advocate it however i understand and accept that others do. I've been given many cool nicknames over the years which seemed to stick like : Toma, Wilddogg and X. I'm an actual buddhist. I absolutly love women they are a very unusual creature which i find FASCINATING. I'm not very good at love but i am a hopeless romantic and will never give up on it. I'm probably the last REAL pro humanitarian. I believe in the hope of all mankind and that a single person can do great thing without needed another although we can do far more good with help. This makes me gullable because im so pro humanity I don't like because i like to believe people won't lie if you don't so i kinda am a bit of a fool in that respect. Anyways ive yammered on enough here so enjoy the rest my fine feathered friends.

AM I THE ONLY PESON ON THE PLANET WHO DIDN'T TOKE AT 4:20? IF YOU WEREN'T HIGH EITHER I WANNA HEAR IT!

For all u who think I'm cocky, f*ck u. everything on my page is some form of an inside joke or another. so loosen up stop judging others to hide ur insecurities and get ready to laugh. cuz if u dont i may be tempted to lick ur ear. mmmmmmm..... ear
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If you could sum up exactly what a sports fanatic is that wouldn't be me however do like sports however right now i hurt my ankle quite badly, to the point it may never get better so im sittin around drinking a molson waiting for it to get better. wierd ones even!!!!! cuz its the wierd and original things in life that make it fun and exciting kinda like me. I'm ten shades of crazy dipped in insanity sauce. One of the best ten pin bowlers in Canada averaging 220. I play soccer and any position that needs to be strengthened. I work out alot to stay bulky and muscular cuz i truly think that being able to flex my pecs on command (which i can) its so awesome and totally worth the effort. I used to be a loser back in jr high cuz everyone looked down on me coming from the country and all but now in highshool i worked my way up the food chain and im not gonna become a herbavore now. Popularity is life. Can anyone you know flex their pecs one at a time or both simultaneously? I can. That's right my man breasts can dance better than M.J. If you wanna see just ask cuz nudity is fun!!!!!
>>>>>>Tommy<<<<<<<
>>>>>>What else can i say?<<<<<<<
>>>>>>I think i forgot to mention i can sing pretty well, anything from death metal to opera, who wooda thunk it<<<<<<<<<<<<
Does anyone think women are like chainsaws? They have sleek lines and great teeth with extremly dangerous and catastrophic destructive powers if missused. See told ya women are like chainsaws.
"That kind of dancing makes me want to do the robot dance"
"That's a technical fowl"
Everybody From The 3 1 3 Put Your Motha Fu<kin Hands Up And Follow Me
"I Walk Around With The Strength Of 100 Men. Run You Bast*ards Before I Count To Ten. Blood Dripping From My Canines Like A Fountain Pen"
" Try To Do As My Name That's Fatal. Try To Claim My Fame That's Fatal. And To Bring The Pain That's Fatal "
"You Cock Juggling Thunder {unt"

Travis, the only man I can say that I loved. You saved me from terrible bullying that would have pushed me to your fate. I miss you my friend and I will always love you. My only regret is that we never got to be old farts drinking whiskey on some porch remembering our micheifious youth. Tonight I drank whiskey with you even though you weren't here. It never tasted so good. Forever Missed With Eternal Tears

drinking, smoking and all other ill sh!t. hahaha just joking believe it or not you can be popular and a jock without being a boozer or a druggy. sure i like to drink but not a ton of the time. love sports, videogames and girls. Girls are fun AND sexy.I love movies of all kinds. You name em i love em from horror to love movies. I may like chick flickS but i am ALL MAN, A Man's Man, A Pimp Who Pimps Pimps!!!!!!!! My favorite thing of all is being a Golden Boy. And no that's not the same as a golden shower you sick ass mofo lmfao. I found that the secret to life is to take nothing too seriously. Be loose and funny, drugs are a waste of time and if u take life too seriouosly you won't get out alive. WIERD AL YANKOVICH
(8) (8) (8) (8)

One Headlight"

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

[Chorus:]
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge

[chorus]

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me

[chorus]
(8) i love singing, specially in the rain. hahaha hell who doesn't. Kookookatchu!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOPPPIDDDDDYYYYDDDOOO!!!!! Isn't insanity wonderful?
you gotta watch me cuz i love the ladies.

Sipping Whisky


HAMBURGERS!

Anyone can make up a statistic. 45% of all people know that
9 Out of 10 men prefer women with large breasts. The 10th man liked the 9 other men.
(My Shaven Glory All The Way)<<<<< inside joke that if you think about enough you can figure it out
MIND FREAK
Hot showers. Preferably with a pretty lady but hot showers anytime are the absolute best!
Madonna....Screw You I Think Shes Sexy
This portion is just for Sarah. She challenged me and taught me so much. Your responsible for the man I am today and I will never forget that.





Favorite Quotes::
Eminem : " Welcome To Detroit City Bitch "
Friday After Next : " Tastes So Good It'll Make You Slap Yo Momma "
Kelly (The Girl Next Door) : " Was The Juice Worth The Squeeze? "
Buff Rapper From 8 Mile : " All's Well That Ends O.K. So I'll End This Sh!t With A Fu<k You And Have A Nice Day "
Shaggy (Scooby Doo) : " Today Is Tied With The Scariest Day Of My Life! What Day Ties This? Every Other Freaking Day Of My Life!
Drake Talking To Blade : " Blade, Ready To Die?". "I Was Born Ready Mother Fu<ker "
Nomack : " Is The Enemy Of My Enemy My Friend Or My Enemy? "
Micheal Jordan: "I Can Accept Failure. I Can't Accept Not Trying "
Jordan : " That Bitch Is Porno Hot! "
Dwight: " It's Time To Prove To Your Friends That Your Worth A Damn "
Leroy Jenkins - "LLLLEEEEERRRRROOOOYYYY JJJJJEEEEENNNNKKKKKIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!!!"
Alice Cooper - "No More Mr. Nice Guy. No More Mr. Clean. No More Mr. Nice Guy. They Say He's Sick, They Say He's Obscene"
Batman Begins Korean Criminal - "You Are In Hell And I Am The Devil"
Four Brothers Main Cop - "Keep Knocking On The Devil's Door And Eventually Someone Will Answer"
Nick Naylor: " Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk. Everyone has a talent "
Unkown: " Evil Wins When The Good People Say "It's Just Business" "
Me - "Let Your Soul Bleed Passion"
Me - "I'm 30 Shades Of Awesome"
Me - "Wow, That Was Like Sex In A Barrel"

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Written & Performed By Magni Asgeirsson

You're telling me
you cover me
you're tryin' to tell me who to be

out of sight in my reach
you can't get what you can't see

I know
that the time will come
when you'll look back and see
so clear
all the bridges that you burn
in front of me

every breath every move
every smile you ever fake
close your eyes
look inside
at all those things you had to take

I know
that the time will come
when you'll look back and see
so clear
all these things you left inside my eye to see
I know
that the time will come
when you'll look back and see
so clear
all those bridges that you burn
in front of me

As long as there are stars
There is nothing that can change
My feelings for you
I never felt this much alive
For the world to come in down on me
I can't find the reason to be free

I know
that the time will come
when you'll look back and see
so clear
all the bridges that you burn
in front of me
I know
that the time will come
when you'll look back and see
so clear
all the bridges that you burn
in front of me


You're JFK! Please take off your shirt! OOOh baby! Cant wait to watch you work out your abs! j/k(image credit: mtv.com)

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CLONE HIGH QUOTES:
Principal Scudworth: "Stop getting all up in my business, Mr. B! I saw the first two-thirds of the MC Hammer Behind the Music and if there's one thing I learned about money, it's that it never runs out!"
Principal Scudworth: "If the world gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make SUPER lemons!"
JFK: "I'm trying to nail Catherine the Great, or should I say, Catherine the So-So"
JFK: "Let's All go swimming in my pool and by pool i mean bathtub and by swimming i mean SEX!"
JFK: "Hark, I just heard a word that starts with an S and ends with an S and has a lut inside. A Lutta Me!