My wand is made of fir wood. the inner core contains a single hair from a unicorn's mane. it is a quite short wand measuring in at 9 3/4 inches. its very good with summoning and shield charms
Lately, I've been thinking that something might be actually wrong with me. I skip sleep alotogether 2+ days a week, have one big sleep night, and then sleep maybe 2-5 hours a night on the others. I drink my weight in coffee and tea, and take caffine pills, and have been eating less and less, it seems. My heart starts to really ache if I ride my bike to work more than twice a week. I think maybe I'm killing myself. Fucking rad. But I can't go to sleep, for fear of missing out on something. And going to sleep means admiting that things must come to an end. Summation. But if I don't... sleep... and I can't tell one day from the other, then is there a difference? No. It doesn't have to end.
Matt says it's strange, that I try to eat so healthy, yet take so much caffine and don't sleep. He's seeing the bodily health side of things, and it doesn't make sense. If he looked at it my way, the road to dropping pounds, it would make perfect sense.
It's my body
and I'll diet if I want to
Diet if I want to
Diet if I want to
You woul diet too
If you saw what I do.
And nowhere to go. I drank two coffee's and two tea's today and now I'm all jazzed up but have nowhere to go and nothing to do. Blah. Called Melissa but she's got to work downtown early tomorrow, so she hasn't got anything going on. She told me to call Ryan but I'm too lazy, and I know that if I did something with him I woudln't get home in time to work out, shower, sleep, work out and shower again before I have to leave to meet Candy tomorrow. Life is so fucking difficult ;p
I worked with a new girl at job #2 today. She was fat and ugly and spent the whole two hours we were working together telling me how she's allways hungry and how it's going to catch up with her someday. I didn't feel I was the person to tell her that someday happened a few years ago. She was so annoying and perky and... happy. It made me want to vomit. I don't mind fat people, as long as they're not jolly fat people. Actually, I just hate perky happy blondes... the fact she was fat just made me want to poke fun at her even more. I resisted though, through if I poked it might get stuck in her rolls. God I'm a bitch sometimes.
I realised today, waiting to get into my econ 2203 exam, that I really don't like business. I don't like the classes, I don't like the profs and I don't like the people who major in it. They are all the people I didn't like in high school. All the preps go into fucking business. I'm glad I'm done that course. I need to figure out what the kind of people I like major in... my parent's would say "nothing, they're living on the fucking streets!" but I don't buy it. College can't be overun by preps, it would throw of the balance of things. There needs to be deviance... but where do the diviants congregate? I need to find out, or I'll go crazy next semester. Either that or learn to love the musclebound jerkwads and sticklike bimbos that I run into daily.
Worked today, don't think I've been yelled at more in one day in my entire life. My manager yelled at me for doing something that wasn't store policy, and so many customers yelled at me for things that really weren't my fault at all. But you know what, I kept my cool, and the customers waiting in line commended me for that when they got up there. It happens, people are stupid sometimes and I know it's not my fault when they get angry for no good reason. I'm just the easiest person to take it out on, there's no reason I should let it ruin my day. So I'm in a prefectly okay mood, kinda hungry, going to Dixons for drinks later tonight.
listening to music
loud as sin and bored as hell
waiting for the phone to ring
for a friend to call.
and you feel strange
when you don't care so much
about the e-mail
you've checked three times today
(yeah that's all)
yeah they allways leave me here
not the place I'd rather go
it's allright
I'm used to making it alone
Come on now
See me, here I go
Come on now
I don't need you, no
You'd like to
Watch me fall apart
You'd like me to
Break before I start
driving with your windows down
hair is blowing and it's snowing
watch the sunrise
in your rearview mirror
tears are running
freezing to your cheeks as wind whips
your fuels low
but you can't let up.
(you never could)
well they'll never know
just what they've done to me
it's allright
someday I'll make them see
Come on now
See me, here I go
Come on now
I don't need you, no
You'd like to
Watch me fall apart
You'd like me to
Break before I start
Sunset
I watch your face
Blink, unchanged
On my computer screen.
I long for you
For your arms around me
For your warm to melt
My cold
Inside.
Midnight
We're in bed
Together,
Miles apart.
My laptop sits beside me
In the space
You left.
Something keeps us
From exposing our
True hearts,
Spirit.
Three a.m.
You've gone to bed
For real this time
And left me empty,
Unfulfilled.
I hold myself and
Try to fall asleep
In my own arms.
Insomnia.
I watch the sunrise
In my rearview mirror,
I'm tired of being alone.
