Life is a great place where there is flowers and smiles.....and now theres guns and fists lifes aplace where i just dont wanna be, i lose person after person adn im seriously done i keep losiug friend after friend and i cant fucking handle it anymiore it fucking hurts it breaks my heartt when i finally ebleive lifes getting better and myu friends are finally gonna stay and then they go off and just stop being my friend i am seriously sick of crying and tears i cant deal with all of this bullshit and pain on top of my already tragic life......im fucking sick and done with it whuy is it that im just so blind to whats going to hurt me and whats not....its starting to piss me odff howmany times i fucking cry all the times my heart aches from all the shit i just lkeep managing to lose from the stupid mistakes i make everyday i guess im always gonna be the onje to open my mouth and lose something else but truth is i dont know if i can handle losing you................................you were my best friend the only one who could calm me down or make me laugh and well i guess i wasnt a good enough friend to you or whatever happened i appoligize know for being the bitch that i wasa

im so sick of this bullshit all the fucking drama with my friends and my family and omfw it sucks, some of it is what is in my mind and the rest is becuz i stand up for waht i beleive, i dont want to lose your friendship you are my best friend you know my secrets and are closest to my heart, i know its probably in my head but im so beyond scared tht you are my friend just out of pity but i hopefully know tht im wrong and worrying for nothing but my emotions are fucked, i am trying beyond anything to move out so tht i dont end up making a stupuid mistake ntht i would regret till the last breathe i took and beyond

SO happy you dont even realize, you are so hott and beyond cute your sweet and just perfect you have the most amazing things to say and its perfectly amazing and i just miss you ever so much, i wish we could talk more and see eachother more.....stupid school....getting in the way of my happiness...pfft

I have made beyond many mistakes in my life and i know tht but you were not one of them for you were one of the few tht made me smile and you loved me and was there for me whille watching out for yourself and i love you for tht... you r the most amazing most wonderfull meanningfulll thing on this or any other universerse and i lpve you... you are the one i will change for but only becuz you still love me even tho i dont..... last night was my last fling with drinking to forget and im quiting evrything soon and for awhile i most likely wont smoke shitt... but i dont know im trying becuz i lost one and i dont want to loose you too becuz I know i will have his same fate..... And i will rebuild our friendship and keep tht promise i made to you.....dont forget tht theres one thing i never do...and thts brake a promise to a loved one

Mekanie i miss you and im sorry tht i hurt you and i am sorry tht i dont how i did but im still sorry.

melanie dont ever think tht i dnt care bout you becaus ei do more thn anyhting you wrere my best friend and i love you

trying to quit smoking so tht i can keep him close

wondering why simon has to be so cute and sweet

trying to choose between cory and soimon

trying to figure out my life sort it out and keep the past the past

-I love you david

-i miss you Keith and Linda

-happy birthday girl

-Whereever you are i hope your flyign high

-Shopping what funn

-Chillin with my home girl june and teri lee

-I am so sick of nightmares

-sick of crying sick of the tears tht flow the memorys that return

-am i that invisible that if i died you wouldnt notice
so invisible tht if you never heard me say "i love you" you wouldnt notice

Do u think about me??

Would you hold me tight if i was scared??

Would you tell me "everythin will be ok, i will never let you go" if i was sad??

would you promise to love me and tel me the truth no matter the consiquence??

wOuld be there for me if i were ill??

WOuld u care if i dissapeared??

Would you laugh and joke around with me if i were with you??

Would you cheat, lie, or steal from me??

Would you listen to me babble on like an idiot??

If i told you my deepest secret would you keep it??

Would you judge me cause of who my friends are??

Would you trust me to never hurt you??

If i said "i love you" would you trust tht i mean it??

Would you protect me??

Would you be with me if i was in the hospital??

Would still want me if i told you i am scared??

Would you care if i died??

-love you david<3<3

-wondering why brandon wont let me seee melanie

-Rip kieth dierickse

-im sorry jordan

-kinda miss kindergarden (no drama then)

-need to chill wiht wp friends

<3<3lovels you lots babe<3<3

Im still in love with you and i miss you so muchi miss you and your sweet voice your kind heart and your truthful and caring,i miss the stability and safety i felt when i was in your arms.i promised that i would take time for myself to learn what i wanted and needed andnow i must keep a promise that i made and now im lost and confused because his heart is as pure as yours and i feel as safe but the difference is i let my heart out to him he knows my life and all my thoughts and you know who i want to be and what i am i loveyou and your heart and i love him and his.

im sorry for those i hurt and the who hurt me tht i always hold close to my heart you stil bring happiness to my life i love you keith and im sorry but i want us to start over and be friends

i have to many friends and i liove so many people i have someone i want to be with but caant theres people i want to hang wiht but i cant im always too busy or im to sick i am sorry for those getting hurt by my stupidity

when you grow older do you look up and find you can see more stars or tht the trees look more artistic or even tht the first snow fall is more elegant well i do and i feel as if my eyes are becoming new .

i seem to spend allot of time with mel and i like but know tht i dont spend every day with her i feel somehow abanndoned theres so many things i have to get used to againg but i love my life i have a good guy tht i love and great friends ones who will be there till the end ones tht would go bungee jumping with me with only a household bungee cord ... well maybe not but you never know what i can convience people of doing...... dont worry im not trying to take over the world or anything .... well maybe never gave it much thought ... hey but back to this i think me growin up will do good and maybe i wont miss so much school second term.

hey babe i love you soo much and i dont want to hurt you at all and im sorry to do this after i said it didnt bother me but its starting to i have opened my eyes and thought things through this thing we have is making me uncomfortable and i love and her but i dont want to loose you even though i know im not i still feeel like i am in my heart i loves you and want to be with you for the rest of my life but i dont want to hurt while were just starting i love you though so much ...... loves your kitten <3