I've decided that it is in my best interest to not return to school to finish the rest of the semester.
The only reason I was going before was because it seemed like I'd be wasting time if I didn't go, and I had nothing else to do.
I'm going to start working full time and saving money, buy some cute little pin up dresses, and get a job at a diner.
I'm tired of being at school when there's no point in it. I only have Marine Biology, which should be called "Learn all about my teachers personal life class" and Art, which isn't very inspiring anymore. I've found I can do just about any of that at home, since there is no structure to the class and we basically do whatever we want.
Yes, I'll be losing ten credits but, in the end, who is counting? Really. I won't be attending school for any reason so I don't think it matters.
It's time to get my life started !
1. I WENT DOWN A DRESS SIZE. I've been medium everything for as long as I can remember. Dress shopping today I realized that I can't wear mediums anymore, only SMALL! And the grad dress I got was an extra small! So good. I'm currently wearing my grad dress from GRADE NINE, it fits once again! Yaaay.
2. I got my grad dress picked out. It's gorgeous but I don't want to give much away. It's a rock and roll dress - red and black. Fucking fine.
3. I have higher self esteem than I have in a long time. Thank god. I just feel great about myself finally. It's wonderful.
4. Got to spend the day with my mom. We took a rental car from her dealership and got a ticket for fifty bucks, but they have to pay it ! Ahah, stupid place.
5. Listening to Cotton Jones. So good. Look them up.
did you have any formal art education? if so, where?
I went to Fashion Institute of Technology, but never graduated. It’s a terrible school and I’m skeptical of art colleges in general. Creating visual art is a trade, like being a carpenter. Fitting it into the college format is an attempt to fancy-up something blue collar so that universities can make a buck off of it.
I think the best way to learn to make art is a combination of brutal practice, working from instructional books, attending figure drawing classes, finding artist mentors and friends who inspire you and are tough on you, keeping obsessive sketchpads, visiting museums, copying masters, and just drawing drawing drawing until you break.
Yes, this takes motivation, but if you’re not self-motivated, being an artist professionally isn’t for you anyway. And you haven’t gotten 150k in debt to find this out.
i love this girl.
1. Sigur Ros is wonderful, regardless of what mood I am in I'm always cheered up by the wonderful sounds of Icelandic music. Haha.
2. Been eating healthier lately. A lot healthy. And even though I'm sick right now I don't feel so bad. Things will get better!
3. Went and saw some people I haven't seen for months. It was alright and nice to catch up with everyone.
4. Got to take the day off work, not going to waste it!
5. Finally having enough time to go through all of those books!
1. Guys keep complimenting my eyes on this website. You can hardly see my eyes in any of my pictures. They're just big, and brown. Does this insinuate something else? That perhaps I have nice tits? I hope so.
2. Comic con gets closer and closer! Also, the weather is warming up so quickly I think I'm going to plan a mini camping trip to Pembina soon. Maybe bring a few people with me!
3. Folk fest is in August! I'm ever so excited, also, we may be going to the Calgary one this year which is even bigger than the Edmonton one!
4. I just finished reading a cookbook called RAW The Uncook Book, by Juliano. It's been inspiring, I love the pictures, and I can't wait to start cooking up some raw dishes. :u
5. Planning a trip to Vancouver this summer, very excited.
6. My birthday is in thirty eight days, which means I can get my angelbites soon and quit my job and get a new one!
7. My boyfriend bought me a Tassimo. I get to drink chai tea latte's in my room all the time now. I love him, but he spoils me so!
8. Still inspired to draw and do things for once!
9. Yesterday I went on a mini trip to Edmonton with my dad. We originally meant to go to the health food store but we ended up taking a few trips all over the place. I went to the Old Strathcona Antique Mall for the first time and I'm in love! I bought some MLP's and a troll doll and two prints - my idols, James Dean and Marlon Brando.
10. I've been getting through my huge list of books and it's gradually becoming smaller, thank god.
11. I also have a seemingly large amount of tattoo magazines now. Maybe when I turn eighteen I'll have to invest in one? Hm..
12. Finally, I'm doing okay.
1. Next week I'm going to have a huge paycheque! I've been working my ass off.
2. I've been playing Zelda lately and it's quite addicting.
3. My hair is finally starting to get longer and look better.
4. I got off work early today so I could come home and relax for once.
5. 42 days until my birthday! And I may possibly be getting a job at the Wabamun bar instead.
1. Comic Con Calgary on the 26th of this month - I still need to come up with a costume! Help.
2. My job is going well. It's not all that interesting but I'm getting nice paycheques for once and good hours and I don't have to come home mad because someone screamed at me again.
3. My eighteenth birthday is in a month and a half. I've been waiting for a very long time !
4. I'm going to get a new job working at a 50's style restaurant/bar and dress like a little pin up girl everyday in May.
5. Saving up to get a car so I can go places!
6. I've been with Kody for over five months and he's lovely as ever.
7. School is almost done, I get to go grad dress shopping one of these days with my mum.
8. The weather is finally nice.
9. I've been feeling more motivated lately, and somewhat more cheery than usual.
10. I have our star wars movie night to look forward to this weekend. =)
My boyfriend bought me a 3DS, and the new Zelda game.
I'm going to be busy for awhile now.
Tired of this stage in my life. Tired of being so stressed out and trying to get through the day without having a breakdown. Finding it harder and harder each day to live here. This environment is becoming increasingly toxic. I keep doing what I'm doing, just making it to the next day, I feel like I've lost my passion for everything. I feel like the bitchy outer self I project is nothing similar to what I am, and what I am is what people are beginning to forget. I'm okay with socializing less and less, I'm okay with doing less and less. I guess this is beginning to become routine.
Wonderful, amazing, compassionate boyfriend, you have helped me overcome so much already in the short time that we've known each other. There is a joking, cute, awkward outer self that you portray from day to day, and there is this innermost lust/love for me, the side of you that constantly reassures my insecurities and lets me know I'm going to be okay. Thank you so much for everything you've done.
I am dating the most amazing guy in the world, and I have never felt happier than I have this weekend. I had planned on going out to party, to drink, to see my friends and somewhat try and fit in with the people I no longer have anything in common with. Instead I got something so much better. I know it hasn't even been that long at all but I already feel so into this, so connected, it's scary. I'm terrified that I have such intense feelings after everything that's been happening to me lately but I'm so glad that I can say I've finally found someone I want to be with for a very long time.
I am so excited for next weekend, and everyday that is to come. I feel like I finally have something to look forward to at the end of the day.
to go to Vancouver, I swear. It's such a lovely place. And some people may think that I'm trying to grow up too fast and maybe I am, or maybe I'm just trying to get away from everything here. It's horribly boring here. I'm tired of doing the same thing day in and day out. You say I'm bitter you say I'm angry, but really, what is there to be happy about here. It's a shit hole. No one has even HEARD of Spruce Grove. Or Stony Plain. I need something bigger. Corbin and I are going to run off to Vancouver, spur of the moment planning and whatnot, and just be. There are plenty of things I could do without schooling, and plenty with. So I guess I just want to get this over with so I can begin the rest of my life, and see where it takes me. Maybe you guys are cool with staying here but I'm always wanting more. Maybe that's my problem.
