I REALLY BADLY WANT TO BE HIT MY A CAR, I'M GOING ON THE HIGH WAY AND WAITING UNTILL SOMEONE HITS ME OR I'LL FIND A CLIFT OR SOMETHING!!! I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE!!!!! THERE IS ONE REASON I KINDA WANT TO STAY, BUT HE'LL BE HAPPIER WITH ME GONE!!!!!!! aggghhhh!!! I have problems today!!!!!

your so close to me
I cant hind from you
your right beside me
I know you care
now I'm in the middle
between love and loss
I cant get away
and at the same time I dont want to
I'm scared
and I like it

Darkness seeps in
I tell you goodbye
you think nothing to it
you say goodbye
you get in your car
I walk down the street
I step on the road
thats the end of me

If I did something you and me promised not to do, would you hate me because I may have broke that promise....

Im only happy when your happy, when you are mad I am sad, when you are sad I'm more sad, when you pissed off at me I'm depressed, and when your happy I've gleaming with joy.

One persons dream is an others night mare
one persons friend is anothers enemy
my blade to my skin is some people worst fear...
I dont understand why that is anymore...

In the end when we all die somehow we are all forgoten in the end enless you are know for something to great to forget or just horrable. I'll just die in the hands of someone I trusted... Myself

Everyone in the world has something better to do then to talk to me so thats why I never call anyone, if you call me sure I'll talk to you, but thats really it, I dont like calling people, some times I do, but not ever oftin

Just one more cut on my wrist what would be the difference? Most likly no one would be able to tell the difference and if they do what can they do about it really?

Alone in the dark,
Shadows saronding the room
screaming from next door
pain and death all around me
I've never been good with death,
even worse with life
look left look right
nothing in sight
lights off with window open
wind chills me to the bone
my ghost of the past speaks to me
calling my name should I go to it?
The gun sat to the left of me
I light my candle
running my fingers over its body
grasping it now
i lifted it
tears falling in silence into darkness
the suddle figure of the door
the lst thing that i'll see?
my finger on the trigger
flashes of the past
all the people I've hurt
but also the people i've helped
smiling faces crying faces
making my head hurt
mixed feeling I'm going to do it
foot steps running up the stairs
maybe the dog?
Maybe someone found my note?
no its the dog no one will come for me...
taking the safty off
places to my temple
no one will care
maybe my family
wil be at my funaral
maybe one or two friends
they cry for a week?
maybe a month?
wont last very long
the door opens?
its not the dog
light floods the room
whos the figure at my door?
my eyes go wide more tears fall
i drop the gun my hands fall to the floor
its the one person i didnt want to hurt
my friend,
my one lover
he runs up kicks the gun away
he holds me close saying hes sorry?
He saying hes sorry for leaving me alone
telling me hes sorry for not helping me
tears in his eyes?
in silence we sit looking at eachothers eyes
no more pain no more death no more tears
just silent stares and the wind on my back
the closes the windew and takes my hand
and we walk out leaving that past behind us
never to speak of that darkness
never to go back there
never to see that place again
It wasn't my time I guess there is...
...... one person that cares about me.....

What if I disapeared? How many people would really care? How long until they stop looking for me and give up? Not very long two weeks? a month? With no sign they would give up, thinking something happened or I got burned somewhere...

Or what if I gave you a note that said dont look for me? Why do they still come for me? What if I really didnt want to be found and they came looking? Hmm
Or what if they found me with a gun to my head? Hmm? How many people say they woulkd stop me but how many could stop me?

No one that I know, because the tears will be in the way of my sight -_- I'm a sad sad girl....

I sit here all alone thinking of what to say, how to say it, how to show it, how can I tell you how I feel because its so hard to tell you, I gut sick trying to say it I melt into your eyes, your smile is just perfect like the moon shinning down, and I guess your all that I ever will want in a guy

Love you