so youre on your way over.
it was a split decison. and i think it was a bad one.
we will see how it feels when you come over.
i cant belive i attacked goose like that. something you love. heh.

i am really sorry..
but the trust is gone now. i wont be able to trust you..
its not because of who it was you freaking door knob..
it was the matter of the fact. when have i lied to you??

a good friend gives chances.
a best friend doesnt need chances.

what is wrong with you?? honestly. i dont know. you just never learn. i am simple. simple simple simple.
why i keep hanging on to you i dont know.
but i think this is good bye
youve done enough damage and youll never be able to make it up to me.

like. how am i supposed to trust you. ever
it just wont happen. once you hurt that trust, which you have done how many times... it never comes back.
why on earth do you deserve my trust.

its been an exhausting few days.. and its only getting worse.

you dont even understand what you were to me. and its a good thing i didnt tell you
youre a fucking liar.
i gave everything to you even when i wanted to stop, i still kept hanging on to you
and you took that for granted.
im trying to get this out before you get here so i can justnot say anything

here... watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVrISyG_xEU

no where feels like home to me.

so landonds out.. and he is already upset with me.. what if i send him back

youre here...
here we go.

landon....
i just cant believe you stuffed your tail pipe. to think i had just seen you. we were nowling.. you bowled for me to help me out... even though you were jealous of steve you still smiled...we all thought the night was going well...
you and i were texting.. and yah right now i cant remember what exactly we weere texting but i was upsetting you....
you wanted me to know its not my fault...
landon why would you do this???????!!!!!!
i really hurt you that bad... i am so sorry.... there is nothing i can do to make that better...
i cant believe i sent someone over the edge theyd stuff their tail pipe...
spent the morning in the emerg...... he didnt want to see anyone..
but even when his dad was on the phone with his mom he said
" yah, brieannas here.... "
i have never met them before. this morning was the first time i met his dad..

i dont even know what i would say to him...
thank god hunter sent the cops after him, we never would have found him....

landon...
my scottish fetish boy! i am soo sorry....

hunters going to pick up his car tomorrow, with mr fehr.. and then talk with the shrink. he said hell keep me informed but... i dont know
i am so horrible

l i a r

laughing nto to cry
wow.. you think younkow someone.
these feeligns of unease ive had have been dead on
you fucking asshole
leave me alone.... for good
you belive think horrible of yourself for not giving a chance then find out it was a good reaason for not giving a chance
fuck you chase
fuck you


i know you didnt bring me out here to drown. but why am i 10 ft under and upside down????

DESTROYED

Today, I woke up to an invitation from my boyfriend to draw with him on the Doodle Buddy app on our iPhones. I accepted. My boyfriend then wrote will you marry me? And my closet doors burst open, my boyfriend ninja-rolled to my bed, got on one knee, pulled out a ring and asked again. Of course I said yes. MLIA

this is to you KIDDO

Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind
she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess you build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh, you always had to be right but now you've lost
The only thing that ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah

Well, she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
Yes, ya did
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy, oh, I'm the same old
Same old stupid boy

It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone
Ah, she's gone

Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me
And she loved me, she loved me
God please, just let her know
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Baby, yeah, I'm down on my knees
She's never coming back to me


---.---Strangled With A Halo says:
Sometimes, you make me wanna just hold you and telly ou everything is gonna be alright

thats one friend.

look at the one.. the one i really am.
im a picture no body sees

im faded, like the colors gone.

it is so impossibley hard to let people go. even toxic ones that should have been gone a long time ago. i wish things didn't end this way. but it's so much easier to hate you, then to miss you. my view on relationships is so tainted and distorted.
i'm really not this crazy.


Cause thats what happens when you try to run from the past.
It doesn't just catch up; it overtakes, blotting out the future, the landscape, the very sky,
until there's no path left except that which leads through it,
the only one that can ever get you home.

Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

You don't choose a story, it chooses you.
You get together with that story somehow; you're stuck with it. There certainly is some reason it attracted you, and you're writing it to find out that reason

The darker the secret, the harder you keep it

Do you ever wonder what your life
looks like from someone else's eyes?

Aidin william
all i want for christmas, is you.
this would have been christmas #2.. and i still wonder. i still imagine snowmen and bundling up to go outside.. i still wonder if he would have liked snow or not. god, i sitll wonder...

its like almost all of my relationships... i want to know so much about them... but its almost impossible to find out..

baby come back...


I walk around screaming "Screw the world,"
Because it's easier than actually feeling anything.

so you believe in a future with me?
yes i do to. i just dont know how.. it seems like a forsure future is friendship.

But, Father, I've defeated every single monster I've come up against. I-I'm... I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm... I-I'm an action figure! --Hercules

You can't force love, you just have to go out there & hope for the best.

my first love.. herm i thought it was yishai... but to be honest, it was D.

youre planning a future; on me...

if you could paint the sky any color, what would you paint it?

life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words
++ calvin&hobbes

I cant really offer you much,
but i can offer you that empty spot on the carpet right next to me.
I can offer you late nights of you and me sitting togetner.
i can share with you my mind, my words, my music.

you're a heart breaker. she's a chance taker.
she'll risk it all, & you'll let her take the falll.
you'll take away your love, she still won't give up.
you push her to the ground, she won't stay down.
you're a heart breaker, but she's tired of being a
chance taker.

Stay with me, you're the one that I need
You make the hardest things seem easy
Keep my heart somewhere drugs don't go
Where the sunshine slows, always keep me close

it's your finger and how i'm wrapped around it.
it's your grace and how it keeps me grounded.
i know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep.

It's like a thousand paper cuts soaked in vinegar.
That's the way it feels when I see him touching her.
It's like falling face-first into a bed of broken glass.
- The Spill Canvas

I'm letting you go, you're letting me down
been caught in the rain and I almost drowned
I'm letting you go, our love's black and blue
how many words does it take to say I'm through?

baby i think i owe you one
everytime i come around youre ready for the letdown
just let me down slowly, please.

he doesnt remember tiesto???
MY ASS HE DOESNT. wow i am an idiot, first impressions drinking. deffinetly am not a good judge of character...
and andrew just keeps telling me how amasing i am.. but im not. and i hurt him alot more than i intended...


date night sunday though. i am looking forward to it


and i miss you
this time this ones for us
i missed the last song i blame myself for just standing there too long.

why does it feel like this worl is just not for us?

used... this is a horrible feeling.
and i dont want you to feel this kiddo.


baby smile.

baby-sitting tequilla again. except this time she is staying at lisa's.

thursday night, girls night in.. finaly.... sigh... in much need.
i dont work thursdays now apparently... so just friday saturday... and mondays... like good and bad... 2 jobs.. but only 3 days a week... thank god for tips to help me out.

Luuk said he would help me with my website projects on wednesday before wings. i wonder if he actually will?

But if I should break, if I should fall away
What am I to do?
I need someone to take a little of the weight
Or I’ll fall through
Your just the one that I’ve been waiting for
I’ll give you all that I have to give and more
But don’t let me fall.

Forgive and forget. That's what
they say. It's good advice, but it's
not very practical. When someone
hurts us, we want to hurt them back.
When someone wrongs us, we want
to be right. Without forgiveness, old
scores never settle, old wounds never
heal, and the most we can hope for
is that someday, we'll be lucky enough
to forget.

I'm the girl, the one who always loses.
The one with the fake smile & the girl
who seems to be so strong but continues
to break. That girl who's always there &
seems to have no problems of her own.
The one who holds back tears until she's
off the phone

You say I'm not there for you, but I
am.I'm sitting on that rusty fence reaching
for you. You're just not reaching back.


Nothing's perfect & you're not going
to have good things just handed to
you. But anything worth having is
worth working for.

damon is so happy.. he has a naturally beauitful girlfriend, she is amasing.. and he is like andrew.. but different..i am jealous of him

If i could love you, i would. But this heart of mine is empty, and i don't know how to love anymore.

love when you're ready;
not when you're lonely.

a secret is the heaviest thing in the world; don't let it be a burden.

follow your heart, but bring your brain with you.

let the things you love be your escape.

once im up im up. its just getting up that is difficult..

No I don't hate you, don't wanna fight you. You know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you"
~Relient K~


Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves and of course, each other.
If girls dressed for boys, they'd just walk around naked at all time

we don't talk anymore and I can't understand why.
It's like you gave me wings then told me it's illegal to fly.

I wont ask for promises so you don’t have to lie.
weve both played that game before. first I say I love you then you say goodbye.

bombarded...



the nightmare i built my own world to escape.
i ly inside myself for hours, and watch my purple sky fly over me.



these tainted words, made to heard, cut me with this knife


love songs, they kill me, they kill me, now

&& the worst part is ;; she is always the one who's crying in the end

lets be nothing
ii heard it lasts -f o r e v e r-

Have you ever been lying in your bed thinking about someone & your body starts
to tingle and all of a sudden you want nothing more than to be in their arms?

hey girl is he everything you wanted in a man? you know i gave you the world you had me in the palm of your hand
thought it was me and you babe. me and you til the end
dont wanana think about it dont wanna tlak about it im just so sick about it,im so confsued about it.
this is the way its really going down? is this how we say goodbye, shoulda know better when you came around, that were gunna make me cry
thats okay baby in time you will find, what goes around goes around goes around, all teh way back around.
now its breaking my heart to watch you run around cause i know that youre living a lie..

&& when he kissed me that night
i couldn`t help but think
( this is exactly what i want )

It doesn't matter how long you've known them. If theyve kept you smiling since day one, don't lose him.

i dont need to be the only girl in your life i just wanna be the only one that truly matters..

_{just a classic case}




Flowers of smoke, skinny shadows of old ghosts dancing against the dark of bedroom walls. You're somewhere in the halls of my heart screaming, "Stop!"

I shake as I talk, and you smile in that sad sort of way whenever I let you down.
And, I'll let my hair down just this once to cut out the tangles you left me.


With my fingertips, I trace on your bare skin all of the things I'd like to say but cannot speak. You mean everything. There not quite words enough, to tell you all the things that you've become for me.

as soon as you start to have romantic feelings for someone, you're fucked. you & this person are going to hurt one another. even if you are together for the rest of your life, you're going to feel indescribable pain. when you're in, no matter how deep, you're in.

Maybe in five or ten years you and I will meet again,
straighten this whole thing out. Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy. But this is the distance and this is my game face.

and if tonight ever makes a difference, the way that i feel,
the way that i'll remember it. i'll take this down until the
glass remains.
swallow the words that i was meant to say.

I know you never meant to do everything you put me through. It's okay, I forgive you. Just know when you see me cringe sometimes, I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind.

I needed to burn, to set on fire. you were the closest thing to mind, you were always on my mind. no flame to burn, i needed fire. i stole the spark from your eyes, and made sure you watched me burn.

if someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of it when it's relevant. seriously, just punch them in the face & go get some ice cream.

One night, I looked up to the sky and the moon said to me;
if love makes you hurt, why dont you leave your lover..
I answered would you ever leave your sky?

will it be my heart? or will it be his??

When I'm scratching at my scars,
I'll remember who you are.

uughhh
i got played..
mad about that and now talking to chelsea isnt going good he says they didnt date she keeps going on how they did
i annoyhed as shit

" _chelseaa * // says:
but then we just drifted apart
and things never worked out
and i ended up with devon
who was there in the background the whole time
brieanna ' says:
haha
so all signs lead to chase "

- jenni` says:
at least you know your hott....
ah man, ill kill him
so bad
- jenni` says:
he'll wish i didnt kill him so bad.


i am wound like a top right now..
omg surprised kitty..... SOOO CUTEEEEEEE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8

wow soo much shit in one night

i cant believe hunter would do that to andrew... ohhh andrew

Andrew says:
Like your such an amazing person im not going to throw one friendship out for another
ill keep both
brieanna ' says:
haha
this is m y fault.
Andrew says:
how
for being an unbeliveable person and me starting to like you?
and telling my friends and having them gun for ya
yea sooooo run fault


i fucking ruin EVERYTHING
i am wide awake

its funny how he stresses the point where he will do anything he can to be friends but he doesnt text me or ask me to hang out anymore.

whew after 3 -4 months, finaly got it. no longer have to worry about it

i actually did picture it today. just laying down and running my fingers along your stomach. like picture a though bubble above my head with that picture in it, then picture something makeing the picture dissolve.


i come to you in pieces so you can make me whole.

i remember the last time i finaly got to see ben when he was with erin.. i walk into cheetahs and he is just so excited to see me, rushes over and gives me a big hug.. this time it didnt feel the same. i went in for a hug, and he didnt seem to stoked on it. imm glad i got to see him though. michelle never seems happy when i see her though, maybe its just because of me?

theres something out there somewhere for me.

our talk in the truck lastnight, usualy i love talks like that.
but it wasnt that way lastnight.
things have changed.

i want them to move on. i really do want them to be happy. it just.. hurts watching thigns change then remembering the way things used to be. it was my decison to not pursue anything more.. but no body else would se eit the way i felt.. i wouldnt be giving them the full bee.. they wouldnt stay happy long, and they could be soo much happier without me... but i hate losing people. and it hurts to watch someone else take my place.. but i do it and i go on..
i am not letting ymself be happy. i feel like i dont deserve to be happy..
aidin..

i have my own family... but we were broken apart long ago..
i havent heard from danny ina while. though ive been seeing him everywhere..
and aidin.. thoughts of him are scattered.. i miss him

cage party didnt show up, guess some of the fighters had emergencys?


you ever wake up and feel like things are off??

yayy i got to drive goose around lastnight.

going to the whiskey jacks staff christmas party, it should be fun!!! i just hope andrew doesnt try anything.. not that he would the big marshmellow he is

yeah, i'm broken. but i'll be okay. day after day i'll look for all the pieces of myself you scattered around, it'll take a while, but i'll be whole again soon enough.


do you ever wonder if someone comes across your photo and wishes they were you?

driving goose tonight?? mmm thatd be fun:)
King of the cage after party at cheetahs, this will be fun i hope..
its going to be sucha gongshow.


Forget all those places that you've never really been and all those situations you somehow found yourself in. Let your body sink into me, like your favorite memory, like a line of poetry, or a fucking fit of honesty.

With heavy hand and jealous glow,
you touch me so sinful and slow.
We say goodbye but never let go

She's been all sorts of places but she hasn't been anywhere at all.

And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older and see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened

I know you don't like grey skies. We know our multiplication tables. You got straight A's while I was writing fairytales. And looking out window seals asking why the sunshine liked my eyes and kissed my cheek when it knew I was in love with the moon. And of course with you. Well I sped it up cause you don't like slow songs. You're more of the literal kind. Yeah, you're more like the ocean's waves. You get closer at the end of the day.


You can’t always predict how things will turn out.No matter how perfect you are for each other, There will always be something Imperfect standing in your way.



ive become addicted to starbucks... oh no

you wont be replaced. just so you know.

what im looking for. isnt out there.
everyone no matter who always always has someone else.. there is no JUST you they think of. there is someone else just as important as you.

i want to feel special.. why cant i ever feel special..
everything is so bitter sweet.

Stop falling in love with everything that lets you down

once i voice soething that bothers me it really stops bothering me.. its almost like i need to say it out loud just to let it go.

im not treating kiddo fair and im sorry but whatever we could have had, isnt going to happen.. and i should stop pretending it could, because it wont..

work is pretty fun ill admit
james is awesome and andreas me and sam havefun
and dj boy is funny haha cant wait til he shows me his soldier boy!! ( the dance )

tomorrow night should be interesting, its going to be packed.. hopefully ill make some good tips, they might make me shooter girl... oii...

i can see the pain in your eyes and its killing me. and im sorry


Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

its really hard to be someones friend, until there are no left over feelings



<3

You always care,
You’re always there.

When there’s no getting over that rainbow,
When my smallest of dreams won’t come true,
I can take all the madness the world has to give,
But I won’t last a day without you.
- The Carpenters.



i am plain... plain jane... thats my name

"I'm not the one that you want, not the one that you need My love is like a fucking disease You can give me your hand, you can make your demands I'm the hardest motherfucker to please"


drunk bee is not the same bee... i hate it

why is my eye leaking!!

I just asked if hunter liked you. And you asked what could make me happy and i said nothing in this club could make me happy, Then i said i dont want to
Sent via Facebook Mobile
like you anymore and wish i never did like you more than a friend and that i was going to move on and get you out of my head

it's like we're more than just friends but still less than lovers. you're oh so tough,
but i want to be your first weakness.here we go again with the mixed signals and second thoughts.

there are 6 billion people in the word.

6 billion people! of those there is at least

one for you. maybe you’ll meet in a quaint

little coffee shop or your favorite bookstore.

no matter what, there is someone out there

looking for you, just like you’re looking for them


the difference between school and life? in school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. in life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson

" because i am no the right guy for that..." relationships or anything involving "
" Why do you say that? "
" because i am always gone. And i never know when i am coming back "
" is that the only reason? "
" I DONT want to leady ou on more than i already have. im just not looking for anything more "

you know, ive been hearing alot of im sorrys lately.


Showed my mom, she hates it lol
i just want to get the littler one


I have a Jacob black, but i dont have the edward. its like in the movie. i really care about him and when im with him im happy and he fills the hole in my chest.
but somethings missing


they get what they want, and go.. always ...


i cant handle all this pain
all we ever do is fight anyway
why we even tried i havent a clue
with hearts involved theres way too much to lose
i dont wanan see you or feel you
i dont wanna lookninto your eyes
i dont wanna touch you or miss you
i just wanna love your memory tonight
you were something else to look at
youre intentions they werent all bad
try to make me something i wasnt, lord knows there aint a future in all that