abortion

Hi, Mommy. I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’t wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? I don’t like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?

You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do that when you’re awake, any more?

I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.

…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, I want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!


I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, reblog.

Everyone knows me as the happy, out going, exitcting girl but then i'm also the shy, quite, && sad girl. I hide my past I don't talk about it I don't bring it up I wont go back! I hide my scars, I hide my past, I hide my memories, I hide my life that no one knows about.

I'm the girl behind the mask, I hide scars, I hide my past, I hide emontions, I hide MY LIFE!

So we started off as friends, we always talked && got closer together while the 2 months went passed. We always fought (i'm not going to say that we were prefect && never fought because we use to fight like crazy && still have our moments) but we always seemed to get over it && be friends again. We also always had the moments that all we could do was laugh && sometimes cry because we were laughing too hard. The moments that hit us hard was always when we would start talk about our past or what has been going on, but we seemed to always cry together or help eachother out. But then after my ex (not saying names :T) dumped me, we started talking more. I called you that night my ex dumped me all I was doing was crying && you seemed to make me feel better even though you weren't here to atleast hold me like you do now && you had to clue what to say to me but that you were sorry that it happend. That night he broke up with me was the worse night.. You felt so bad for me && for what was going on. Your anger that night when you heard why we broke up was unremeberable I wasn't with you but I could still hear you so mad that i'm pretty sure you had your fists ready to punch the crap out of my ex! After that night we stayed on the phone all night until I fell asleep (crying) we seemed to of got closer. Since that night we got so close that you asked me out && told me that you loved me (the night my ex broke up with me, I didn't know what to say when you told me && that you kept it a sercet form me that hole time) && I finally deiced that I wanted you to be apart of my life for good. Now months have past && we're still a happy couple, yes we still have our bad moments && good moments but i'm still glad that your in my life... But I guess I do have to be happy because your going to be in my life for good


Because we are engaged! :D
I love you baby <3

(Left at 10am on Friday, got to Edmonton by 1-130) So Edmonton was fun! When we got to Edmonton we first went to our hotel and got into our rooms, then we went to West Edmonton Mall for swimming and glow in the dark blowing. It was really fun to spend 2 full days with the team and just make the fun out of the trip. So when we got back to the hotel by 10-1030 pm it was so funny everyone was going up and down the stairs because we kept on getting lost to find the pop machines and the ice it would of been so much easier if we could of used the elevarts we wouldn't have got lost the hole time. In my room I had one person that I hate, she says we have a love hate relashiption I say we just have a hate relashiption, so we were getting along with eachother the hole day and half the night but by 1130 we had a huge fight and then of course we fought and left bruises on eachother. Then by 12-1230 she attacked me just to say sorry that part was harrlious and from 1230-2 everyone in the room was talking and having a good time, then when we were in bed starting to fall asleep Kayla went from her bed to my bed and smacked Kaye's ass and it was so fucking hard! Everyone started laughing then we waiting alittle and then Danille did what Kayla did again to Kaye and then I did it like 3 times. Then when we fell asleep Kaye was like my butt still hurts I think you guys left hand print bruises, Danille said her hand still stinged we smacked so hard our hands hurt. HAHA! So we finally got to bed atleast by 2 then we got up at 6 and got ready then went for beakfast and then went to our tournament and then we wrestling til 740pm. My 2 matchs sucked I had a tank for one and the 2nd one smacked my face so hard that everyone from the sits all the way up in the nose bleeds heared my face got smacked into the mat, so of course my nose started bleeding and I blacked out so she won and god it hurt, it still does! But the trip was so much fun i'm glad I went!

So tomorrow i'm leaving at 10 and heading out of town, tournaments are on Saturday morning and afternoon. I hope this trip will take my mind off some stuff. It should because i'm gonna be with all my friends and doing stuff I love well just hope... Still have too pack : ( I feel like i'm gonna forget something grr. Gotta get up at like 6-7am :l damn again with waking up earlier! I am not a morning person, but I guess I gotta do it. So gotta go pack :l then go to sleep...

Be back in a couple days!

Love you babyboy

So the past couple day isn't what I excepted, I finally got out free from my house on the Saturday and found out my bf couldn't hang out til the Monday when I heared that I was like great another couple days so that would be 1 week and 2 days. But 1 week and 2 days turned into 3 weeks and so it sucks that I can't see my babyboy til the 6th, missing our annisvery is just gonna suck...

Not just that I can't see my baby til the 6th, I leave soon and I can't say goodbye or anything. I'm also really worried about my baby! He was coming home from hockey and we were texting and the text that just put me to tear and fear is was "we just got into an accident" that just killed me right there. Not that just nowing that my baby and his grandpa might be hurt but that I should of been with him and that I didn't tell that I loved him before it happen. But when I found out that the EMS just said that my baby was just in shock and that the set belt hurt his chest and ribs well it toke alittle bit of my worries off my chest. But I was still worried as hell, I didn't know if you were okay or if you were in the hositpal and hurt and you were just telling me that your okay so I wouldn't worry. Also making it worse your just telling me not to worry after telling me you were in the accident, well let me tell you this baby when someone I love or anyone tells me not to worry I worry! But I just wish that atleast I could of been with you that night I wouldn't have to be so worried about you. I know you tell me all the time that if anything ever happen to me that you kill your self for letting anything happen to me and that you were glad I wasn't with you that night. But I guess we never now what is gonna happen every day.. All I want you to know baby is that I care about you,I love you and your my world.

So now we have 10 more days without eachother, I have been the most emotional queen the past couple days! I wish I wasn't but it's not like I can help it, i'm leaving this Friday and we can't even say goodbye in person and it's killing me. I don't know what i'm gonna do if you have to move with your grandma if everything doesn't go well. I would feel so empty inside if you came to see me and tell me that night that you were leaving for good because you had to move. You always tell me that I have nothing to be worried about because your not gonna move or going to leave me but your not even 16 yet so you have to go with your "parents" or the ones that take care of you and it sucks to now that if you leave that we're not going to be together anymore. It kills me to even to think about it, so I guess I should stop then...

You and me I guess are together for a reason and I love it. I love it how I can't sleep until I hear your voice,I love how you can just hear my voice and tell how i'm feeling like if something is worng or if im happy that day, I love how you can tell all your friends about me even though I don't want you too and then you do and if they say something rude or hit on me you make sure that they wouldn't even see me anymore too make sure im safe, I love how you have to always call me or text me and make sure im okay and if im not always make me feel better, you take care of me so well and I try my best to take care of you even when you say I dont have too because you love me either way even if i'm just there lying in your arms and your the one that is making sure im nice and warm or feeling okay you just want me to be safe and be okay, you make all my tears and fears go away, hearing I love you every day and night makes me now that your there and that love is an real thing, I dont have to look at other couples and say I wish I had that because you are more then anything in my life, my mom always tells me that love is a strong word and when I say it too you I now it's right and thats its too the right person, when other guys tell me they like how I look that day or something I just look at them and say i'm taken by the one I love and they start to walk away, I love how I can tell you anything and now even if it was something bad you can always say that everything will be okay and that you love me and I can finally say I love you to a person I really mean it too, I have never felt this way about a guy before until I met you and I am so glad we did I would of never met something like you and if I didn't have you in my life I wouldn't think my life was good enough to life for. I hate when I have to tell you some bad news or that i'm scared of lossing you but I love how can always say it's never going to happen and you love me too much to ever let something bad happen to me like leaving me. I hate when people say this relashiption isn't gonna work or your not for me but you always tell me that it doesn't matter what people think its what we think and now, and I now you are the one for me and that I love you so much!! I'm so glad we met and made this work you are my world and if anything happen too you I would be broken!
I love you babyboy! : )

Okay so today was just a fucking nightmare, it is everyday but today it just went way out of the lines. We may not be bff's or friends anymore but you don't have to fucking treat me like this.Saying i'm fucking lying about what ppl did to me so I just get ppl to "notice me" well I got news for you, you are the only person in the school that does that because i'm not going to fucking lie about something that happens to me and fucking go to the police for and court so fucking shut your fat mother fucker month. Sprending ramors about me that aren't even true and thinking I tell ppl want you and your bf are doing well just telling you now I don't care and I don't care about you or what you do, so it's just best to stop about what your doing because your making everything worse for you when you get fucking beat the shit out of you and you'll be sorry then.
Hitting me today with a locker and fucking yelling at me in the locker room was the fucking biggest mistake you ever did and I can't wait til tomorrow and see how bad you've been treating me and I now i'll do worse to you so go fuckin' home crying to mommy because I wont cry, charge me if you have too.

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Have you ever missed one so much you've cryed all night, didn't sleep, didn't eat, and stayed up all night on msn/facebook just to see if they came on? Well I have and it sucks just waiting until they come on because everytime you see someone new signed on you get a huge smile on and then it's not them and then you start crying. Then you feel like you did something worng and thats why they wont come on when they said they would just to talk to you......I miss you!! ):

Why the fuck do you think I would fucking care about him anymore, you think I would care about him anymore or what the fuck hes doing to himself but I don't so I would just stop fucking telling me because i'm just going to keep saying the same thing over and over again I DONT FUCKING CARE! You keep fucking telling me what the fuck hes doing everyday or who hes with. Well like I keep telling you I don't fucking care about him anymore theres a reason why he's out of my life now, so stop fucking talking to me and go back to your fuck head of a husband and just leave me the fuck alone.!

So I had a pretty good Christmas holiday but now on Tuesday I have to go back to school : (. But then on the 28 we have no school, and on the 29th we go to Edmonton for our wrestling tournaments !! I'm so exicted I know we will win big time! Haha. Pratice is gonna be hard til then, but it's worth it.
EDMONTON HERE WE COME! : )

You may be my bff or my family but now I know why I don't tell you anything about me or what I do is because all you do is go around to everyone I know and fucking tell them everything about me. And what makes me really pissed off is that your being friends with ppl I really hate and hate what they did to me and then you tell shit that about me when I fucking didn't stay friends with them to tell them or tell them myself for a reason! So whenever you diecide to stop telling ppl about my life and sercet I will start/maybe telling you stuff but for now there is no way in hell i'm telling you anything!.

So I finaly got out of the bullshit and stress with being with you. I feel like a free girl now. You now after I fucking dumped your sorry ass that you were a jerk, like come on treating me like shit,making me do things I dont want too,hurting me, and treating me like a piece of shit in public. Like fuck one thing to do it when we're alone but another thing is to do in fucking public. But I am so glad I fucking dumped your ass like Idon't desever to be treated that way, i'm a girl not your brother or a piece of shit that you can treat that way. And if you want someone to fuck go to your fucking strip club now not while we are dating. But after I told you the reason i'm so glad that I wasn't with you at the time because I knew you would of done something to me. I should of never listened to my friends and not of dated you appasently when I knew that I wasn't ready for another relashiption because of the last one. But thanks for making everything so much harder to get out of now and making everything worse but I got one good thing out of it is that I don't have to see or listen to you anymore : ).