to have my feelings out for them to hear, but to fall on deaf ears is disgusting. when your job takes over your life and your own family takes the back seat.. dont you think it hurts just a little? to have no one to talk to about it because its just another "family matter" fuck you. for me to make the effort but you just stand there and look stupidly at me like it's some kind of joke just shows me that you're even more pathetic then i thought. i dont need someone in my life that takes advantage of what i have to offer. you never showed me and decency or respect that was supposed to be mutual, you just go up and left. you were the strong silent type that never let anyone see you cry, but now i see through that, you're just a bastard, plain and simple. you dont deserve me, you dont deserve me in your life. that's why you packed up and left right? oh wait no, i had to pack up all your shit and put it on your new doorstep. a wrenching feeling comes in the pit of my stomach, like a whirrling hole that gets bigger with the emptiness that is supposed to be filled with you. the awkwardness i feel everytime someone talks about family knowing that mine is just another "statistical failure". fuck you for leaving the ones you loved... in theory anyway. who knew that you could have a family and when you got bored with it you could pack it up in a box, write fragile on it then cross it out and toss it to the curb before the weekly garbage pick up.

2 Days..!*

HAVE YOU EVER CHANGED YOUR CLOTHES WHILE IN A VEHICLE?
too many times

WHAT'S SOMETHING YOU MUST DO BEFORE YOU DIE?
see all my dreams come true

ARE YOU SINGLE? DO YOU WANT TO BE?
no.. no

WHAT'S ONE THING YOU WILL NOT EAT?
red meat

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR UNDERWEAR?
black with squiggles

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WENT OUT OF STATE?
over a year ago

WHAT'S YOUR BIRTHSTONE?
diamond

HAVE YOU EVER DRANK MILK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON?
yer

CAN YOU HULA HOOP?
barely

HAVE YOU EVER CRAWLED THROUGH A WINDOW?
a postage stamp sized one

ANY COOL SCARS?
not really

NAME AN OLD SCHOOL SONG YOU LIKE?
shot through the heart

DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF?
if the moment occurs

WOULD YOU KISS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED AGAIN?
most definately

HOW MUCH DOES YOUR DOG WEIGH?
uhh like 30 lbs?

EVER WAXED YOUR LEGS?
nope

EARRINGS OR NECKLACES?
both

WHO HAVE YOU TALKED TO MOST TODAY?
britt

WHO'S ON SPEED DIAL?
voicemail..home..jordan..mom..sister

DO YOU USE SMILEY FACES ON THE COMPUTER A LOT?
not the cartooney ones

ARE YOUR GRADES GOOD?
not exceptional

DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
no

HAVE YOU EVER ENJOYED LISTENING TO JACK JOHNSON?
sometimes

DO YOU HAVE A SONG BY OZZY OSBOURNE IN YOUR LIBRARY?
no

DO YOU WATCH FAMILY GUY REGULARLY?
yes

HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED A LITTLE KIDS SHOW?
yea

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE?
bambi, pocahontas, snow white

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Taurus

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A KID?
giggling

WHAT IS YOUR NATIONALITY?
french, german

WHAT SPORT DO YOU DISLIKE MOST?
baseball

HAVE YOU EVER GONE SCUBA DIVING?
nope

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
fresh smells, baking bread

ARE YOU MODEST?
not sure

DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU?
pending

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR DRIVING?
music on and boppin around... and of course paying attention

DO YOU KISS AND TELL?
no

DO YOU FOLLOW COLLEGE FOOTBALL?
no

WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU WENT SHOPPING?
wal-mart

LAST TIME YOU DRANK ALCOHOL?
yesterday

FAVORITE FOOTBALL TEAM?
.blank.

DO YOU WATCH THE OLYMPICS?
sometimes

LAST BAR YOU WENT TO?
long johns

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?
yep

WERE YOU AN OUTCAST IN MIDDLE SCHOOL?
depends on whos point of view

ARE YOU MULTITASKING RIGHT NOW?
no

COULD YOU HANDLE BEING IN THE MILITARY?
probly not

DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA?
very much

WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL MASCOT?
Panther

HOW IS THE WEATHER TODAY?
grummy and snow like

STUPIDEST THING YOU EVER DID WITH YOUR CELL PHONE?
let people take dirty pictures and forgot to erase them


1. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PENIS?
yes

2. DO YOU LIKE WATCHING MUSICALS?
yeah

3. WHAT TYPE OF BED DO YOU HAVE?
double

4. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO YOU KISSED ON THE LIPS?
jordan

5. NAME 4 ITEMS IN FRONT OF YOU:
cell phone, glass of water, cd case, my foot

7. EVER HEARD OF DJ RANKIN?
no

8. IS THERE A MIRROR IN YOUR ROOM?
yea

9. HAVE YOU EVER SHOWN YOUR NAKED BODY TO A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
yea

10. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
no

11. WHAT COLOUR TOP ARE YOU WEARING?
grey white yellow and black

12. WHAT RELIGION ARE YOU?
neutral

13. DO YOU LOVE MUSIC?
yes

14. EVER HAD AN INTERNET BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND?
nope

15. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU HAD YOUR FIRST ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
9

16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVE PART OF YOURSELF?
boobs

17. HOW MANY MESSAGES DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW?
42

18. ARE YOUR PARENTS RACIST?
no

19. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK YOU BLACKED OUT?
i dont.. think so

20. HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?
3

21. DO YOU THINK BABIES ARE CUTE?
sometimes

22. DO YOU CRY EASILY?
not anymore

23. IF YOU WON A BILLION DOLLARS, WHAT WOULD BE THE FIRST THING YOU'D BUY?
big chunk of land for my house to be built on

24. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?
possibly

25. EVER PAINTED YOUR NAILS BLACK?
purple yes black no

26. WHO DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE WITH RIGHT NOW?
jordan

27. HAVE YOU HAD ALCHOHOL TODAY?
nope

28. IS THERE A CERTAIN MOVIE YOU ALWAYS CRY AT WHEN YOU WATCH IT?
never cried from a movie

30. DO YOU THINK THAT IF YOU WERE PRETTIER LIFE WOULD BE BETTER?
in parts, but overall no

31. WHO ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE?
my critters, jordan, britt

32. IS THE LIGHT ON OR OFF?
on

33. CAN YOU TOUCH THE CEILING?
i wish

34. DO YOU LIKE SOUTH PARK?
no

35. WHAT IS THE FIRST WORD THAT YOU THINK OF?
cheese

36. EVER WORN A SKIRT?
yep

37. DOES SMOKING DISGUST YOU?
turnoff

38. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T?
no

39. WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
downstairs

40. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LEGS?
no

41. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP FOR MORE THAN 3 DAYS IN A ROW?
nope

42. ARE YOU TIRED?
getting there

43. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FAMOUS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
cant say i would

44. WOULD YOU EVER LIKE TO WORK AT A STRIP CLUB?
haha no

45. DO YOU LIKE CHAMPAGNE?
havent tried it

46. DO YOU LISTEN TO CERTAIN SONGS ON REPEAT FOR HOURS?
hours.. no

47. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?
peacefully

48. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET UP WITH SOMEONE YOU MET OVER THE INTERNET?
cant say i would

49. DON'T YOU JUST LOVE DISNEY MOVIES?
of course

But you can dance with disaster
Never missing a step
Spinning faster and faster
Long after I've already slipped

But in the middle of it all
You always break my fall
In the middle of it all

Over and over, again and again
You float through the door and I'm Stumbling In
I'm twisted and tangled and soaked to the skin
You float through the door and I'm Stumbling In again

Pulled in every direction
I've a million regrets
You're the perfect protection
When I'm diving in over my head

There's bones in my closet,
I've collected quite a few
God knows what causes an angel to love a fool

Is it this easy for you to hate someone this much.
Like throwing them into an ocean with a life jacket, but pouring blood into the water just in spite of it.
To hate makes the heart cold, hard, and frozen.
It doesn't seem like it's the same thing.
Now it's like who can stay angry the longest, and for everyone's information, as well as my own, I'm choosing to "give up" as one might say.
I don't find anything more to be frustrated at.
If it came to a yelling match I don't think it would be who had the most to say, but who could yell the loudest.
I apologize for my wrongs and there isn't much more I can say that's worth saying.
You can choose to stay angry at the situation, or you can choose to come to terms with what each party has said and agree to disagree. But overall agree that everyone, even amazons, make mistakes.
I can't deny the friendship that once existed between dwarf and giant and all I'm saying is that enough is enough. And for the first time for everyone to know, I miss you, I love you, and I hope my broken insides are enough to convince you of the sincerity of my words.


sincerely yours,

true love is when at the end of they day,
after everything,
after all the dumb stuff,
i can look at you,
be happy,
and say baby i love you

Like a breath of midnight air. Like a lighthouse, like a prayer.
Like the flicker and the flare, the sky reveals
Like a walk along the shore that you've walked a thousand times before. Like the oceans roar.
Love heals

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending do they?
I need some shelter of my own protection baby,
be with myself in center, clarity, peace, serenity

105 truths
1. real name – Sara
3. single or taken - taken
4. zodiac sign - taurus
5. male or female - Female.
6. elementary - silver star
7. middle - michelle
8. high school - VSS
9. eye color - brown
10. hair color - brown
15. are you a health freak - not particularly
16. height - 5'4
18. do you like yourself - when i feel good
19. piercings – ears 7, daith, navel, tongue
20. tattoos - nope
21. righty or lefty - Righty.

FIRSTS
22. first surgery - never
23. first piercings - ears
24. first best friend – marley
25. first award – cant remember
26. first sport - figure skating
27. first pet - mike
28. first vacation - cant remember
30. first crush – lucas

CURRENTLY
49. eating - nothing
50. drinking - milk
51. I'm about to – sing some more
52. listening to – jessica andrews
53. waiting for – bedtime!
54. wearing – teddy pants and big grey shirt

FUTURE
55. want kids - debating
56. want to get married - not sure
67. careers in mind – environmentalist, marine biologist

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
68. lips or eyes - both
69. hugs or kisses - both
70. shorter or taller - taller
71. tan skinned or light - tanned a bit
72. romantic or spontaneous - both
73. dark or light hair – doesn't matter
74. muscular or normal – muskles
75. hook up or relationship - depends on the outcome
76. similar to you or different - happy medium
77. trouble maker or hesitant - middle

HAVE YOU EVER
78. kissed a stranger - not that i can recall
79. drank bubbles - who hasnt
80. broken a bone - yer
81. climbed up a tree - Yer
82. broken someones heart - yepp
83. turned someone down - yer
85. liked a friend as more than a friend - yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
86. yourself - on a good day
87. miracles - yep
88. love at first sight - not love no
89. Santa Claus - no
90. Sex on the first date - not as of now
91. angels - that sort of thing

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
92. Is there 1 or more people you want to be with right now? im liking the alone time.

LASTS
95. Text message – jarrett
96. Recieved call - jarrett
97. Call made - mom
98. Message on facebook - cant remember
99. Missed Call - stranks
100. Person you hung out with - jarrett
101. You hugged – my momma
102. You kissed - jarrett
103. You talked to – seester
105. Said I love you to – my kia

Fate decides who enters your life
Actions decides who stays in your life
but there is no point in trying to rush fate
because the best things in life are worth the wait

Dumb Bitch