I just don't understand why I'm not good enough.. it is because I'm not 90 pounds.

i dont know how im not to love him we are just friends now and seeing him with her kill me. i love him the way he loves her i once said i couldn't live without him. now i know i was wrong and it hurts to breathe because every breathe i take proves that i can live without him. why is it that i always run back to the one person i should be walking away from. maybe because i am afraid to thats why. i know he wont come after me anymore i cry each and every night and he has no idea that i do. when will my fairytale come true? my friends tell me to give up but how can i when he is all that i think about.? loving him isnt an option. if i was perfect then would he love me ? but im not perfect .. and perfect is something i just cant be. i wait online for hours just to talk to him even if it is only for 5 minutes .. i love when he is the one to say hi to me because for that one second i was the one thing that crossed his mind. if i could reach up and grab a star for everytime he made me smile then i would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand.if you cant get someone out of your head then maybe they are meant to be there right.. and i guess i should have told him how i felt a long time ago and but i didnt and now i lost him the best thing thing in my life is gone now.. and i dont know what to to. i guess if you really love someone the thing to do is tell them but how do i tell him when he loves her now ?

finally being honest feels good.

sometimes i wish the facebook delete button was real.

- you again
- alex <3
- the fact that mexico kicks ass
- how weird my feet look.
- that i hate having and nemo toe

I think I'm ugly.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I've had braces.
I wear glasses.
would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have some freckles.

Family/Home Life
I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I've had children.
I've lost a child.

School/Work
I'm in school.
I have a job.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
I've missed a week or more of school.
I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I've stolen something from my job.
I've been fired.
I've skipped school.


Embarrassment
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I've peed from laughing.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I've gotten stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I've had my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
I had a surgery.
I've had chicken pox.


Experiences
I've gotten lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've been an abuse victim.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi.
I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
I've had someone cheat on me.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of commitment.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've cheated in a relationship.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
I've had a crush on a teacher.
I love to flirt.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.


Honesty/Crime
I am a terrible liar.
I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight. (haha)
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.


Drugs/Alcohol
I've consumed alcohol.
I regularly drink.
I've passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I've done weed.
I've snorted cocaine.
I've popped E.
I've inhaled Nitrous.
I've done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I've hurt myself on purpose.
I'm addicted to self harm.
I've woken up crying.
I've cried myself to sleep.
I've seen a therapist.
I've been told to see one by more than 3 people


Death and Suicide
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
I've planned my own suicide.
I've attempted suicide.
I've written a eulogy for myself. (leadership project)

Materialism
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect MANGA.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.
I own something from Hollister Co.

Political/Social Attitudes
In general, I don't like people.
I'm a feminist.
I'm outgoing.
I listen to political music.
I'm Democratic.
I'm Republican.
I'm liberal.
I am religious.
I dress fairly modestly.
My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."


Random
I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don't kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ringtone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I love being neat.
I'm too lazy to bother being neat.
I love Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I'm good at remembering faces.
I'm good at remembering names
I'm good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

PENIS
I don't play for both teams
if you catch my drift



LOVE
Two people , but a single thought
Two hearts that beat as one.



PEACE
Peace is not the absence
of war; it is a virtue; a state of mind; a
disposition for benevolence; confidence;
and justice



WAR
They have not wanted Peace at all; they
have wanted to be spared war -- as though the absence of war
was the same as peace.

you made me realize that i dont need to settle for less. that there is someone out there that will love me for how i am and will treat me how i should be treated. the only problem is that while you have been telling me this... i think that person is you.

1. i want to believe you , but when i start too , you show me that your still the same old guy and i never want to go back to that , you broke my heart once. there is no way i am letting you do that to me again

2. i really like you , please move back to edmonton ):
i really want you to keep your promises and come back to me .

3. i want you but you have an on and off relationship. stop flirting with me ):
i want you

i miss you blog . don't worry i am back , mommy will never leave you again.

Bring Me The Horizon has made a remake to their Cd Suicide Season
it is beautiful.