I feel incredibly betrayed, my once lover and roommate is kicking me out because of his 17 year old slut. Or as he put it " You turned into a bitch and noone in the house wants you here" (this was the text he sent me when I asked if he had a legit reason to kick me out) It's just me him and his current gf here in this large two bedroom apartment. He has the entire basement, his own bathroom. I have a room on the main floor of this house and my own bathroom. He uses the living room as his tattoo room and we share the kitchen. So what the fuck is his problem? Why am I getting booted? He's the loud one that we get complaints about :S My stereo doesn't have enough power to do anything hardcore right now. It's falling apart- and I have maybe one or two poeple over now and then where he has the whole crew of little ones. younger girls and boys, although he is older than I.
I just dont understand this at all. And he told me to get out through a fucking text. In my opinion this is ridiculous I even clean the entire house on the regular and keep the kitchen neat and tidy- except his and her dishes. I refuse to clean up after them after he slapped me in the face by starting to see here and within a week letting her move in after i told him i loved him.
So I'm fucked, royally. I dont have an actual job because I was planning on going to school shortly- and now i have to find a place i can actually afford thats kinda safe and will let me bring claudia- my wounderful hedgehog and emily who's my rat (and basically my child). I'm looking at seriously low end places now. And the reason i moved into this place in the first place was because of safety. My old house was not full of good people and there was a sexual assult incident that could have ended in rape- but i was very very lucky with that one.
So I have no idea what to do now. I've been up all night trying to think up a action plan but nothing is coming to mind, apartments are scarce and no one seems to be looking for a roomate right now. It really sucks that he did all of this through text and when i went downstairs and asked "what the hell? are you seriously kicking me out?" he just told me to get out of his room. And all of this happened at 12:35am - 1am what the fuck.
Kind of freaking out- So if ANYONE has advice, I'd really really really like to hear it. Please!
Okay, so first off last night was a thursday at Gabbo's I woke up to blood everywhere I've never been more afraid in my life and it felt like someone had just ripped my heart out. I've never really blacked out before. This scared the shit out of me.
But at least I think I know what caused it, I was at the bar last night haveing a great time when I see some woman probably mid to late twenties up with a certain someone in the dj booth. And she starts macking on him and he looks like he's loving it. I looked a my cup (now these are jugs- its a triple drink) see that its empty and puke it in. I don't think I've ever had that much of an upset reaction to something I've just seen. You see that certain someone and I have been kinda seeing eachother for the past ten months. We did the whole crying and I love yous thing about a month ago. I puked because my heart got ripped out of my chest last night.
So I wait till the end of the night, having outside having a cancer stick and ask to talk to him, take him around the side of the building a give him a bit of a punch in the face after sharing the rest of the smoke with him. Explained why I was so hurt and he apologized. Texted me later and apologized. Then I went out probably wore down a pair of tires (I haven't even bothered to look at the tread yet but they were smoking pretty good last night) came home and woke up to blood / my makeup smeared all over my bed and my phone ringing, and it was him- calling to see if I was alright while he was at the afterparty and apologizing again.
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To: damageaddict
From: punkrock724
Date: Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:40 pm
Subject: Re (2): hey
snfu?
Date: Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:19 pm
Subject: Re: hey
Going to SNFU?
Sarah...soulfucker] says:
MY SKIN IS SO ITCHY
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
hahha
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
hahaha
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
aw
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
oh man you know that daniel guy\?
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
well im out tho
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
byeee
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
he was at the rave
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
too
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
who?
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
and i forgot that he like works at little mosque on the prarie
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
AHAH.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
that daniel guy the film guy that i went out with
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
haha
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
OH
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
sweet
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
but yes
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
byeybbyebye .
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
i was bugging him like made
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
bye bye
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
muffinporkchop
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
hahahah
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
made.
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
lol
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
bye my fellow noodle.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
noddlemuncher
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
yoo know it.
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
hahah
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
omg
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
i can't get over
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
get over?
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
the fact that nathan and ..nathan..have the same nose.
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
and the same name.
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
lmfao.
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
im really.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
lol i'll have to take a look at that
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
hoping hes not 28
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
nathan poked me
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
but.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
in the eye
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
haha i bet he is.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
with his nose
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
shit
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
beak
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
that sucsk.
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
AHAHHA EW.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
yeah
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
this smorning
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
AHAHAHAHHA WITH HISBEAK OF DOOM.
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
gahha
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
lol
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
well
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
gawd
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
quit talkingi i have to peace out.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
SHOEBOXNATHAN AND HIS BEAK OF DOOM
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
WATCHOUT
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
HE'S A GONNA POKE YOU
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
DOOMDOOMDOOM AS HE FLYS UP
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
ALL RAPTOR LIKE
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
HE'S LIKE HUMMING DOOMDOOMDOOM
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
HAHAHA OMG SHH
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
AHAHAHAHHH SHHH
L3@H. 50$RewardForMyPhone.FUCK says:
AHAHHAHA PEACe.
[Sarah...soulfucker] says:
lol why am i listeing to kid rock?
Disrespectful mutilation
Manipulated masturbation
Semi-conscious, lying words
And selfish, wounding, hot impatience
You wouldn't know love if it spit in your face
If it broke both your legs to put you back in your place
The only love you know is pink-plastic fake
It moves the way you want because you gave it it's shape
It feels good to love but better to control
With muscles blue and irises gold
Strong in body but stronger in mind
With words like that you'll have her in no time
©2008 =AGoddessFinch
Check this amazing poet out on deviantart.com http://agoddessfinch.deviantart.com/art/It-Feels-Good-to-Love-95714050
Abso-fucking-loutely amazing!
WOULD YOU RATHER BE CALLED:
babe or baby : babe.
sweetie or honey : sweetie
darling or dear : dear. darling sounds corny
THE CAN'S :
can you blow a bubble with your gum? forsure
can you dance? apparently
can you do a cart wheel? that i can
can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? yep
do you like roller coasters? definately
do you have a bike? yep
do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality Tv shows? i doubt it. i can't even eat a squishy banana
THE HAVES:
have you ever been on a plane? yes
have you ever been to the ocean? yep
have you ever gone fishing? yes
have you ever painted your nails? course
have you ever gone skinny dipping?hahah yes.goodtimes
have you ever had a mud fight? it was amazing.
THE WHATS :
what is the temperature outside? its still super hot in my apt. cooler outside though
what radio station do you listen to? i flip constantly.
what was the last restaurant you ate at? hmmm.... i have no idea.probably new york fries.. but that was food court...hmmm
what was the last thing you bought? coffee- mine and ashlies at smittys
what was the last thing you had to drink? water
THE WHOS :
who is your newest friend you added to nexopia? prototype. i think haha
who was the last person you texted? bush
who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Drew
who is your current crush? dude. everyone knows this. its nathan.
who was the last person you took a picture of? hmmm.... jean?
who was the last person to leave you a comment? on here- i have not a clue- some random.
who was the last person you said i love you to? I can't even remember, it's been a long time.
CRYING SECTION:
ever really cried your heart out? yeah,
ever cried yourself to sleep? yeah
ever cried on your friends shoulder? a few times, usually drunk.
ever cried over the opposite sex? yeah
do you cry when you get an injury? no, just swear a blue streak
do certain songs make you cry? sometimes
LOVE SECTION :
how long was your longest crush? eight months and counting....
has anyone besides your friends and family ever said "i love you ''? yeah. never belive them though they lie!
SELF ESTEEM SECTION :
is your self-esteem extremely low? everynow and then.
do you believe in yourself? most of the time.
do you wish you can be someone else? sometimes a little. i'd rather pick out certain things and switch them onto myself haha
do you like the way you look? sometimes.
THIS OR THAT :
rock or rap : rock
coffee or hot cocoa : coffee
wild night out or romantic night : Too many wild nights lately
chocolate or vanilla : chocolate
hummer or sports car : sports car.
bracelet or necklace : necklace.
history or science : history
sleep in or early to rise : sleep in
beach or boardwalk : beach
hoodie or tee shirt : hoodie most of the time- so comfy
night or day : night
love at first sight or learn to love? love at first sight then learning to love everything
HAVE YOU EVER :
hugged someone? : hugs are the best.
been on the phone until the sun came up? yes. i miss those convos
laughed so hard you peed in your pants? hahaha not lately
laughed so hard you cried? lol yeah
got into a fight with someone? last night.
CURRENT :
current mood : tired. not mellow. kinda like dead and mopey
current music playing : Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Down boy
current hair style : hawk is flopped over to the right side.
current crush : nathan. we did this already.
current thing im doing : this quiz- music. wanting sleep
windows open : job search, facebook, flobots, nex, msn, media player
current desktop picture : still life shot of a scorpion perched on a cunt
current dating status : single. not wanting to look any further and not wanting to date randoms
current piercings : ears x13, nose x2, labret, eyebrow, nipple x 2. tounge, bellybutton x 2, monroe so thats.... 23? i think
THIS OR THAT :
kissing on the bed or kissing in the rain : outside is always better
hugs or kisses : both
watching a scary movie or a funny one : scary usually. should probably watch more comedy haha
holding hands or being held : holding hands. or being held from behind- it's just comforting knowing that someone has your back.
to saying that forbidden l word.
and i'v been holding back
because you seem like one that would turn tail and run
because i don't think you feel the same way about me
and i'm not sure i want to find out
yeah.... i'm a cowered.
seven months
and i'm not one to let someone play with my head
and i doubt he even knows he's doing it
and i don't know why i stick around
and everyone accepts this as the norm,
After it was all over and done with I crawled closer to the window, the chilly breeze pulled me back into myself, back to who I was before the smoke hit my lungs. I stared, nothing moved- nothing. Houses streets, lights, people, animals- all was quiet; and I appreciated it. I beathed in the air and smellled night blooming flowers, not city- for once. It was a little bit of happiness i allowed myself for the moment, I spotted a younger couple - walking hand in hand walking down the street- nearly sihilouettes in the streetlights. I'm jeleous of their happiness as they skip down the street and I remember doing that in colder months
I pulled my hands around my knees and slouched closer to the window sill. resting against it. trying to keep him from touching me again. he made me dirty- i didn't want it to feel worse. he didn't take it as a hint. he sat up behind me- he was still a sticky mess; but he pressed himself against my back without a care and whispered "baby what do you see?".
Nothing. nothing out there.
he laid back down and within mintues was breathing heavy.
I stayed up, again and waited for the fall- or something better.
On how the fuck I got rug burn on my fucking elbows and swollen fucking knuckles?
Soooo. my allergies are killing me.
But i'm going to the cirque tonight, it shall be amazing.
And i have to skip work. so i;m just telling them that i got gifted with a ticket.
and they can go fuck themselves if they don't like it.
I want a scrap. but .... my body hates me right now.
my mind wants a scrap haha.
bastardbeautifulboy ditched out last night. ]
after saying he'd drop by and throw stones at my window.
fuck.
I don't know why I even bother to believe these people anymore.
good thing though- funny thing
tallguy asked me out on a date- seriosuly. ]
monday we're meeting at o hans around 5
i didn't actually belive he was serious when he came up to me
no one takes me out on dates haha
ever
ever
he was so nervous too, it was super cute.
and i'm kinda glad nathan was standing right there.
I left my jimmy in the recesses of your neck
find him life later
stop
jon lohman
stop
religion.
fuck later
need to finsih life
create
ceiling and lean reality
after sleep
zn peals cram you sideways into my lung cavity from
whence your mothers vaginal bloddy depths puked
i facebooked your life before sunlight last thursdays father
I want to find the rest of your life
swim in your waters and drive down your dusty back roads.
I'll pick the smooth stones from under your bridges
long caressed from adventures you thought you forgot.
I'll piece your memory together
and solder something that you can hold onto and remember
remember me.
find my life in the waters of your diamond eyes.
