hey, why'd you pay for my coffee?

This stomach ache reminds me of every single day with you and how being with you was the most miserable time of my life. WhOOPS sorry.

How long has it been since you kissed someone?
About an hour.

Who is the sweetest friend you have?
Brent, always.

Who do you like?
Everyone.

Last person you showered with?
My exxxxxxxx

Your best friend has sex with your ex, what happens?
Haha, I'd probably just say different variations of "what the fuck?" all day long.

When was the last time you had egg nog?
I would guess about 10 years ago, if not more. I fucking hate eggnog.

Last time you laughed your head off?
Can't remember.

What is the full name of the last person who texted you?
classified information*~

Are you a shy person or outgoing?
Mostly shy.

What's something you really want right now?
Stomach ache to disappear

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
Today

Anything you are looking forward to?
I guess so.

Date anyone this summer?
Yep.

How is your heart?
My heart is a heart.

What does your last text say ?
"Miss you alot too. You keep me sane haha. What do you think you will do with your day?" woop

What was your response?
"I think I'll just clean my room and chill. might go out tonight and get crazy"

What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten?
My first crush on a kid named Mark. And that kid Ali crying all day everyday. And that girl asking if I was the emma that's in the spice girls.

Do you think you would lose some friends if you gained 100 pounds?
I like to think not buuuuut. it's quite possible.

What person of the opposite sex makes you laugh most?
Brent.

When was the last time you logged into your email?
Toooday.

Are you more comfortable with guys or girls?
That's a toughy.

Have you ever gotten a text from someone and you have no idea how they got your number, or who they were?
Yeah

Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual?
Yep

How late did you stay up last night and why?
About 4am, because.

Are you annoyed with anyone?
I don't think so.

Whats bothering you right now?
Not really anything.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
More like 6.

Do you want to see someone right now?
Wouldn't mind.

Ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing?
Don't think so.

Did you sleep alone last night?
No.

How are you sitting?
on a chair.

Anyone pissing you off?
Not at this very moment.

If you could change one thing this year about your life would you?
Fuck, I don't know. Probably not.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
No. Opening shift, woooooo

Do you find piercings attractive?
Not especially. But whatever.

What were you doing last night at midnight?
watching tv.

Was yesterday terrible?
Slightly.

Did you reject or accept your last friend request?
I pretty much always accept.

Who is your last received call from?
Sean

Do you like pretzels?
Pretzels make me thirsty. ha.

Do any of your friends have children?
No

If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, how long have you been together?
No

Did you wake up before 8am this morning?
No

How many people have you had feelings for in 2009?
Pffff I don't know. 5000?

Who was the last person who “liked” something you posted?
Kelsey.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
Who cares.

Who was the last two people who commented on your profile picture?
Kelsey lol

Would you rather be stuck in the pouring rain, or in a snowstorm?
Rain.

Would you rather be able to jump into love, or out of love?
le both?

Would you rather cry in public or make someone else cry in public?
To be honest, I'd rather do the crying. Because I'm SUCH A GOOD PERSON.

Would you rather go to Alberta, or leave the country?
Leave leave leave.

Would you rather sleep for 3 days, or stay awake for 3 days?
Probably stay awake. I don't know if I physically could, but really, it would feel so good to sleep after staying awake for three days and it would feel soooo shitty to wake up after sleeping for three days.

Would you rather loose a finger or a toe?
I guess a toe?

Would you rather re-live today forever, or not live?
I guess today forever?

Would you rather walk around pantless or topless?
I guess topless?

Would you rather be just rich, or rich and famous?
Haha, probably just rich.

Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
Just me.

Are you getting engaged any time soon?
Nope.

When you're at the grocery store do you used the self checkout?
I try to avoid those. Because I'm a cashier and they offend me. hah.

Last person to make you laugh?
Sean, I guess

Do you look at older pictures and laugh?
Sometimes

Is there anyone you know that is double jointed?
Yes

Be honest, is the last person you texted attractive?
si senor

The last person you texted was it a he or a she?
he

Have you ever slapped someone?
Not seriously

If you had to choose between money and love what would you choose?
Frig, I don't know. Probably money.

Which do you prefer: eyes or lips?
chhhh.sd.skfagdf. eyes? donno.

Do you open up to people easily?
Somewhat

When will your next kiss be?
ooo I don't know.

Are you scared of anything?
Aren't we all?

Are all of your friends in relationships?
No

Have you eaten any chocolate today?
No

Which is harder: walking away from somebody you love or coming back to somebody who has hurt you?
both suck. but harder? would be walking away. I think.

Do you wake up cranky?
Sometimes

Do you talk about your problems or hide them?
I don't know, it depends.

Have you lost friends in the past year?
Don't think so

Have you gained any new friends?
Maybe probably

Do you have unlimited texting?
Yes! I just hope long distance texts dont cost mo' $$$

Have you ever told anyone you were okay when you really weren't?
Well I don't know. What does it even mean to not be okay? We're all okay all the time, no?

Ever consider being a professional pole dancer?
No sir.

i read half a book last night.
seems to be becoming a regular occurrence.

i dont really miss god but i sure miss santa clause

01. Who was your last text from?
katrina

02. Where was your default picture taken?
calgs

03. Your relationship status?
single

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
i don't know

05. What is your current mood?
BARF

06. How many siblings do you have?
2

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
natalia, liam

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
somewhere far away

09. Have a crazy side?
yes. maybe crazy in a bad way though.

10. Ever had a near death experience?
sure

11. Something you do a lot?
nothing

12. Angry at anyone?
yes, i guess

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
ummm he doesn't give a shit

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
I'm not sure

16. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
please fall asleep please fall asleep

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
I donno, brent maybe?

18. What is your favorite song?
don't know

19. What are you doing right now?
This

20. Who do you trust right now?
I don't know. brent

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
aa, val vil

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
yes

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
donno

24. Describe your life in one word?
boring

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
me me me

26. What should you be doing right now?
anything

27. What are you listening to?
californication

28. Who was the last person who gave you the best hug?
i don't know

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
don't know

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
i don't know

31. What is your natural hair color?
light brownish

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
brent. or bio teacher. i don't know

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
meeee

34. What do you hear?
californication

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
wavy

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
not that i recall

37. Do you have a best friend?
yes

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
no

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
sorta

41. Are you happy with life right now?
not really

42. Are you currently jealous?
i am not sure

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
none

44. What were you doing on friday night?
hop n brew

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
is that what this is?

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
nah

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
i guess so.

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
more birth control

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
10:30? because i had notihng to do so i made myself sleep

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
nope.

i sorted through my bookshelf, found an old journal
found these in it.. thought i'd block out some names
so it's not awkward just in case anyone actually reads my blog.
i think these were written by me brent and jeremy in 07 or 08

roses are red,
******** has nice clothes,
when i grow up,
i'll just be old.

roses are red
mr kimball likes chemistry
when i grow up
i'll be in a cemetary

roses are red
******* is a lizard
when i grow up
i'll be a wizard.

roses are red
facebook is great
when i grow up
i'll always be late

roses are red
**** is hot
when i grow up
i'll take ******'s spot

roses are red
*** is nice
when i grow up
we'll go to feist

roses are red
brent is weird
when i grow up
i want a beard

roses are red
jeremy has brains
when i grow up
i'll be insane

roses are red
emma likes elephants
when i grow up
i'll know all the elements

roses are red
katrice is crazy
when i grow up
i'll give her a daisy

roses are red
****** is pretty
when i grow up
i'll give her a kitty

can't stop chain smoking. i want to leave.

"All I know is I'm losing my mind," Franny said. "I'm just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else's. I'm sick of everybody that wants to get somewhere, do something distinguished and all, be somebody interesting. It's disgusting - it is, it is. I don't care what anybody says."
Lane raised his eyebrows at that, and sat back, the better to make his point. "You sure you're not just afraid of competing?" he asked with studied quietness. "I don't know too much about it, but I'd lay odds a good psychoanalist - I mean a really competent one - would probably take that statement -"
"I'm not afraid to compete. It's just the opposite. Don't you see that? I'm afraid I will compete - that's what scares me. That's why I quit the Theatre Department. Just because I'm so horribly conditioned to accept everybody else's values, and just because I like applause and people to rave about me, doesn't make it right. I'm ashamed of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody. I'm sick of myself and everybody else that wants to make some kind of splash."

I'd like to walk around in your mind someday. I'd like to walk all over the things you say to me. I'd like to run and jump on your solitude. I'd like to rearrange your attitude to me. You say you just want peace and to never hurt anyone. You see the end before the beginning has ever begun. I would disturb your easy tranquillity. I'd turn away the sad impossibility of your smile. I'd sit there in the sun of the things i like about you. I'd sing my songs and find out just what they mean to you. But most of all i'd like you to be unaware. Then i'd just wander away, trailing palm leaves behind me. So you don't even know i've been there.

gah,

i see how things are now. i see why these things are stupid and worthless. i can see why i could wish this never happened (i don't.. but i can see.) i wonder if you're thinking similar thoughts. i wonder if this is worth the ... i wouldn't say pain... more like... annoyance? or inconvenience?

i don't know why i would stay where i am but i don't see why i wouldn't.

either direction i choose to take will be a hard and steadily uphill path...
i don't know how to pick one or the other so for now i'll stick with the one i'm on and see if it becomes unbearable.

i do love you.
but i feel as if i'm drifting away from myself.
i do love you, but i miss me.

isnt it funny how when i have nothing to be sad about i'm always bummed
and then as soon as something terrible actually happens, i'm all good moody.
it's like i for once don't feel sorry for myself because i realize i'm a fucking bitch.
i'm a human being so i might as well act like one... go to school, go to work,
get around on my own
no biggie,
i deserve all this shit i hate.

it's weird,
but i feel good today about getting what i deserve.

but i do miss you, a lot
and i never stop wondering what you're doing.

i just wanna live my life
whyyyy is my body refusing to let me.
i feel like i'm getting sick
and i have a crippling pain in my back
and headaches like every other night that won't leave even when i take 2 extra strengths, forcing me to stay in bed

the worst part is,
i always complain and i'm sure people are sick of it.

good night blog thanks for listening

hi it's been 2 years now wtf