I scared myself more just lying there thinking on it.
But I really had to go.
What else to do?
I mustered up my courage.
How do you muster?
I used to wonder when I heard folks say that.
When I was really little I pictured myself covered with invisible mustard that kept away all bad things.
Things that you don't want to ketch up with you.
Ha ha.

the truth is there`s so much that`s beautiful in this world
that we pass by everyday. it`s that evening sunset that is
blocked out by the powerlines & broken hearts.
it`s that morning sunrise that`s martyred by your hangover
from drinking away your pains the night before. it`s that
morning air that flows ever so sweet, blocked out by traffic
and the fumes it creates. it`s the beauty inside everyone
you meet thats destroyed by what someone in hollywood tells you is cool.
it`s the beauty inside yourself that you refuse to see because
you`re to busy studying your shortfalls to see how much you`re blessed.

here`s an idea, stop looking at your waisteline & look at your heart.
stop looking at your thighs & look at your soul,
stop looking in the mirror & look at the midnight sky.
there`s beauty all around us.
there`s beauty inside us, we just have to realize it.

once you realize you`re beautiful, others will realize
you`re beautiful, and you can fully understand what love is.
how can we think that we can love someone else & that
we are ready for a relationship when we don't even
know how to love ourselves? stop waiting for others
to break your heart, & let yourself be loved.
you determine the status of your heart.