Reality, when is anything actually real? I never really understood it unitll this point. Reality only hits us once in a while, when something terrible happends and u snap out of ur rational daze and realize life isn't as perfect as you thought it was! well of course it's true! most of the time ur rationalizing ur priorities and responsibilities away! Living in a daze! Well ur enjoying yourself, thats what your doing, think about how much we could accomplish if were really understood the full extent of the situation were in! but hey all ud be doing was working! honestly id rather enjoy myself! well im not nescessarly saying that we shouldn't work at all but we shouldn't be so down on our selves for not being perfect and just accept it. I think personally in my situation reality doesn't hit me enough! Like i don't want to be working all the time but I want to be more aware of how my actions affect my life. And i think just puting a little more time into that can accomplish loads! I have never felt more sure myself as i do at this very moment in a very long time! Thats reality!
This another one of my middle of the night epiphanys where i need to talk but no ones there to listen! when I have a sudden burst inspiration and need to write it down as soon as possible before i loose it! Where I want to tell people other then myself what I'm thinking in hope that maybe someone might actually read this! No I didn't plan this out It just came to me all of a sudden like anything else worth reading! IM A HIPPO CRATE! I claim that I only expose my real self in a social situation but I find myself constantly supressing my real thoughts and emotions because I'm scared of rejection, scared of not being accepted! Like every other human being on this planet i long for acceptance and championship! But are u really being accepted when people dont know the real you? When your saying what u expect people want to hear, thats the same day in and Day out! No it's a superficial! It's not real. You can't find contentedness with in urself unless u speak ur mind! Because ur not being liked for who u are! and thats far more worse then not being liked at all! I see it all the time, I look at people and they become dull and mundane one dimensional characters!
I dont see an individual I dont see a person, it's almost as if they were programed by society, a sociological robot who only speaks what the sociological norm tells them to speak, who has the same thing to say all the time! They loose thier identity and I even feel as if I'm not as compassionate towards them as I am to others. They loose everything that makes them human! And they wonder why they hate thier lives! Well in reality life- means one, and they aren't one, they aren't living "their" life their living everyone elses life! they are just society, they do what the system tells them to do! And it saddens me that I can no longer strike an interesting conversation with someone because they'll respond with " lets go beat that bitch up" Thats not u speaking! THATS NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR! I can't respond to that cuz that would be against what I personally think but because of my fear of isolation i go a long with it hating myself every step of the way! I think I've figured it out the only reason why I feel so isolated in an abstract sense, like i do have friends but half the time it doesn't feel real, its platonic, boring like ur only with those people because it's something to do not because you actually enjoy their company or that they bring out a positive side of u! but yeah back to my thought about isolation, I feel isolated because everyone else is the same! Im the black sheep! Everyone else has comited their identity to sociological norms and they only think and feel to what is expected of them! They never embrace them selves! Well I guess I'm content with myself! I live my life not everyone elses!
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now,
even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory
of you and I. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. I promise
not to come after you. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on
your blog and be suprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.
Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.
well thats me in a nut shell! all i ever do is think, i cant stop my mind is always racing, i can't sleep cuz all i ever do is think of all the posibilities and outcomes to everything, i over analyze every situation, read my text book to put my mind at ease but it never works becuase im always branching off to other possibilities, other ways to look at it, different ways to anwser the question! But when people talk to me it never shows, I just smile and politely discuss the situation at that given moment! If people only knew what was going through my mind....if people could see what i was really feeling, what i was actually thinking............
well most my frineds waste their time wallowing in self pity because they broke up with their bf! LIKE THESE ARE UR PRIME YEARS! high shcool is supposed to be the funnest time of ur life and im sick of watching everyone just through it all away becuase their upset about relationships ....like ur not getting married or anything! u can do that when ur 30 ! so y tear urself apart over it? be young be free! because this is the only opportunity u have! Who cares about relationships because ur at the point in ur life where there are opportunites around every corner, where u can find someone to love almost anywhere if u keep an open mind..I'm saying this about anyone specifif, but about teenagers in general .....
