fuck. fuck. fuckfuckfuck. who are you? why are you here? you're a stranger. i don't even know you. why did you do that? how can they perceive you as that? you've fucked up her life. they've fucked up yours. who are you going to turn to now? he doesn't like you, get over yourself. she has other friends, don't be a bitch. it's what you're turning into. you're changing so much. give up. just give up. there isn't a thing you can do. give up. while you're at it why don't you stop eating, fucking fat whore. give up. he did that to you for a reason. he obviously doesn't care about your feelings, took advantage of you, and never cared. give up. listen to her and give up.
it's like everyone who makes me upset has suddenly become best friends.
I'm not going to try anymore.
is having a really fun time in Port Alberni : )
Might possibly miss the first week of school because of Edmonton?
Excited for the Slammon Festival!
Holding back tears all day.
It feels like everything that could possibly go wrong did.
Earlier, was hanging out in a hotel room in Edmonton when the fire alarm rang. My mom and i quickly grabbed our shoes and walked out the door into the hallway. We made out way to the nearest fire stairway and down from the 9th floor. The smell of smoke got stronger as we got closer to the lobby. We got in between the 2nd and 1st floor when a man came up from the 1st and said "Turn around and go to the next floor up, the smoke is coming from down there and it's getting hot." I had a feeling of worry, but i knew everything would be okay. Another group of people started to come down the stairs and we told them to stop. We went to the 2nd floor so we could cross over and go down the other set of stairs to the exit. We tried opening the door from the stairwell onto the 2nd floor and it wouldn't open. I thought the door might just be stuck because there was no way the door would be locked. We tried again, it was locked. I started to panic at this point, but stayed calm holding my moms hand. I had no idea what was going on or how bad the fire was, but for a moment i was scared i was going to die. We then went to the 3rd floor with a woman while the other group went back down to the 1st floor. Luckily the 3rd floor door was open and we went to the stairwell on the opposite side. We went down to the main floor and got out the fire door. Then we walked around the hotel to the main entrance where hundreds of people were gathered. Fire trucks had already started to arrive, and police directed us to a parking lot. I was really frightened, but i don't know why. I knew everything would be okay. We were directed to go infront of the Ramada hotel lot right beside our hotel, the Delta. More fire trucks started arriving, and in total i counted 10. The firemen started using their ladder to go on the roof of the main floor part, because apparently there was a fire in the kitchen. It was kind of cool watching them use an axe and saw to get through the wall and put out the fire and stuff. 2 news cameras were there, and i'm pretty sure my they were pointed at me a few times. After about an hour it started pouring rain, and there was a thunder storm. Luckily there was minimal damage to the hotel, but the kitchen is trashed. Apparently a girl we know in edmonton has a friend works at the hotel and was about to deliver room service from the kitchen, and there was an explosion caused by gas. I'm glad the fire wasn't very bad and that no one was hurt.
What really was comforting was a little girl with down symdrome grabbing my hand while we were evacuating the hotel area and saying with a big smile "Mommy look, it's Tori, hi Tori." The mom then said to me quietly "You look a lot like a girl we know." and then her and her husband looked at me and smiled.
-suddenly very depressed.
-i would like to model.
-i need a job.
-frustrated.
-vegetables?
