1.If a stranger offers you a ride, take it, you never know what kind of adventures you will find.
2.Cry about everything, its the only way to get what you want.
3.You should never, ever, pet a burning dog.
4.If life gives you lemons, don't fucking eat them, they are really sour.
5.Do not pee into the wind, you'll get wet.
6.Don't waste your hard earned money on drugs and alcohol, just steal them.
7.A man can build a thousand bridges and suck one dick, and to the world he's not a bridge builder, he's a fucking cock sucker.
8.Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
9.Never fuck the help(maid,gardener,etc.)they dont have the money to back it up.
10.Assume that you are being followed at all times.
11.If you can hear your pets talking to you, you should probably put the pipe down.
12.Make sure you wipe both ways.
13.Never betray a friend, unless it will get you out of jail time.
14.Two wrongs can make a right if you word them correctly.