Parenting troubled teenagers often means coping with the unexpected. Witnessing outrageous behavior. Encountering unacceptable situations. Taking part in shocking conversations.

And do you know why troubled teenagers and the unexpected, the outrageous, the unacceptable and the shocking in many cases are residing in exactly the same home?

In short, power.

Growing up is all about learning how to accept and manage your very own power and peacefully live alongside others as well as their personal power.

But nothing in everyday life is easy and often the power journey gets twisted and turned upside down. Well-intentioned parents bring their own power issues to their new families. This can happen for a variety of reasons and also the only thing that means something is what happens next.

A troubled teenager that has figured out that the adults in the life sometimes quit their power when he constitutes a grab for this. Often this has been happening for a long time inside a family with no one really saw it as a potential problem.

Troubled Teens

Until it becomes a turning point inside a teen's life. Like a drug, every time this teen looks into the eyes of the adult in authority, challenges them plus they down again, he feels a rush.

Until he can't stop. Nor does he want to.

Obviously, the truth in this situation is the fact that just because it feels good doesn't mean it's healthy or right. In fact, this power grab is extremely unhealthy and downright wrong. For any troubled teen to come to the understanding that power is hers for the taking is really a wildly dangerous and intoxicating idea.

And simply not the case.

All of life beyond her family will demonstrate to her that power is NOT hers for the taking. But by then she's missed or ignored the teachings of shared power. From the advantages of residing in a peaceful community, whether this is a family, dorms, a company office, a married relationship or any other societal group structure where everyone needs to contribute and look out for just one another.

Mom or Dad, you are able to stop this runaway train inside your midst. You might not be able to improve your teen into the calm, sweet tempered child you were dreaming about, however, you can definitely get back charge of your home.

How?

Effectively parenting troubled teens means taking back your rightful power as a parent. You've authority with it comes down responsibility. In this case responsibility is known as leadership.

Teens of all kinds need parental leadership. Troubled teens need an extra huge dose from it.

Therefore the the next time your troubled teen stacks up for you, stand taller. That doesn't mean yelling or arguing or hitting.

This means thinking with the values of your house and family and building a foundation of boundaries upon it. This means clearly spelling out those boundaries together with your teen (and other children) and attaching appropriate consequences to those boundaries if they are crossed so that the pre-adults inside your household learn self-control, among other things.

Teens Schools

Then it means following through and doing that which you say. Regardless of what.

So, what to do with troubled teenagers?

If your teen manipulates you. Stand firm.

In case your teen rejects you. Stand firm.

When your teen humiliates you. Stand firm.

You do this with enough contentration and long enough and your teen just may do something else to you.

Respect you.

That might be surprise, shocking and outrageous thing for the teenager to complete, too.

But totally appropriate, since you would be the parent. And also the power stops with you.