i keep doing this to myself and i need to stop to...i need to realize that its over and we not getting get back together...
plus help me do that, instead of this...
missing you more and more...FUCK!

wow...well my life is awesome and i couldnt be happier...well i could but thats because of things that out of my control to change.

im living in the city now and its an awesome change from living in the country
i really enjoy it here and in 15 days ill be 18 so i can finally go to the bar with all my girlfriends...and i wont get ditched anymore lol...
im lonely most of the time...thinking bout finding a new boyfriend soon...

My dog lives with me and Becky and shes crazy lol.
im thinkin bout quitting smoking again too...something to stop that can give me more money...probably going to quit smoking weed too...I know stop talking crazy, but i think i need to do this for myself.

Anywho have a good time and party hard!!!
Love Life
Jackie

its wierd to wanna say we're moving but really its just me....
cant wait to move to the city with becky even if im going to miss the piss out of my mom and puppies...
lifes different and soon im goin to be that college girl that lives wit her best friend....

Fuck I Love Life!

so we break up and i cant get over it and i want him back....

love is so fucked up man...if i knew what i was gettin into i would have just been a slut and fucked alot of guys lol...just kidding but really
love sucks sometimes, but life is amazing and a rally dont plan on giving up on me and him...even if he does a new girlfriend...shes not as pretty as me tho lol

i got a new baby....

bought me a new laptop few weeks ago. Makes me proud to know that i paid for it myself....its said that in 17 years this is the biggest purchase i've made and have been able to pay for it all by my self...NIOCE!!!!

hehehehe

anyways lifes good, work sucks and life is a carrying on.....

This weekend was so amazing...had a blast.
hung out in drayton camping with becky and then with ricki on saturday
punched a girl in the face a couple times sunday because she kissed my boyfriend saturday...and i got drunk eveyday!!!

But really i got to slow down and start thinkin bout getting in better shape...
All in all i had the most fun i have had in a while all thanks to you guys!

congratulations ricki on getting out of thorsby...i understand how much you wanted to leave and its awesome to see you doing what you want to do...


I hope you read this and kno that me hating you has taking so much postive energy out of my life that i love to have. I don't hate you and wished things turned out differently between us, because don't tell me that you don't remember the good memories that we had.

anyways hope life is good with your guy in BC. Enjoy!

-Jackie

wow...
to live those two weeks here at home i couldn't stop thinkin about what i was doing a year ago that day...sitting in the hospital waiting to here that u'll be ok and that it'll take a long time to recover, but never what i really did end up hearing...

I have not been able to tell anyone how i feel because it seems that no bocy thinks that it effected me as much as others...

I have a dad, but not one like Clay...I go for months without hearing from my dad and it doesn't change a lot. After Clay died I thought things would change, but they didn't...then after my dads roommate killed herself i thought things would change...but they didn't... im not sure what to do to change things, i do know though that i do not want our relatioship to end on bad terms like i know some of Clay's did.

Clay was a mazing and managed to make everyone around him feel awesome. He could put a smile on my face when i was at my lowest times, and now i have no body to really do that for me now. Thats what makes me Miss Clay so much is to know that what i had with Clay can never ever be replaced. Its now been over a year...A year being April 11...Yet it still feels like it happened yesterday...remembering all the memories hurts and makes me wish that I could have said more to him. I'm not sure how some people can live with themselves knowing how badly they treating him...
I hope those people see now that a person can be taking from them so fast that they don't have time to react. Clay was treated badly by people he thought loved him and for that i feel sorry for them that they could not bring closure to their relationship.

I Love and will ALways Love Clay as My Dad...And no one will ever be able to convince me that he didn't care for me like a daughter, considering how much he told me that he loved me and that my mom was his life and future...
Please understand that...

Until we meet Again,
Jackie

its funny how a year can go by so fast and i can remember everything that happened in my life so clearly from ago yesterday...

My life changed that day and i lost a person in my life that can and will never be able to be replaced. It's a year now that he was taken to the hospital and never came home...Its werid how life can be remembered so vivdly when its a tragic event in someones life but memories of joy and happiness become absored into the painful memories and most are forgotten...

I will never forget what he said to me the day before he went to the hospital...and Clay i will continue to live my life as you being my step-dad...
And do not try to tell me that thats any different then him being my real dad because when someone tells you how they feel about you and they put you before a person you thought you could never be put above makes you feel amazing...

And that is why now I Know I'm Amazing!

RIP
Clay Erlam
April 11, 2006
I'll Always Love You
Until We Meet Again...

so yeah been a non smoker now for month its pretty amazing...and i'm amazing lol.


I love how everyone is proud of me too...but now i realized that i'm like the only non smoker in my whole group of friends...other then jenna. i do smoke my weed...i love it and dont plan on giving that up till i go to college...so in like september lol.
i hope that other people can quit now too...Gotta love Zyban!

Take this quiz and find out how girly you are.
Bold the things that are true. If you have over 40, you are girlie. Over 55, fuck, you're almost as bad as Paris Hilton.

My fingernails/toenails are almost always painted.
During the summer pretty much the only shoes I wear are flip flops.
My favorite toy as a child were barbies.
My favorite color is pink or purple.
I did Gymnastics.
I love skirts.
Hollister or Abercrombie are my favorite places to shop.
Tight jeans are the only jeans I'll wear.
My hair is straightened.
I have at least 8 nexopia pictures.
I usually go shopping once a week.
I love to hang out with friends.
I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace.
I've gone to a tanning salon.
I've gone to the beach to tan
I have at least 10 pairs of shoes.
I watch either The OC, Laguna Beach OR Desperate Houswives.
I change my icon weekly.
I wear a shower cap
I would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic.
My cell phone might as well become a part of me.
I wear mascara everyday.
bikinis are adorable.
I don't know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
Big sunglasses are hot.
I have/do gotten/get my nails done.
I own over ten purses.
MTV is my one of my favorite channels.
All I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys.
I love to have other people do my hair.
I like to give and receive hugs from all my friends.
I hate bugs.
Carnivals are so fun!
Summer is THE best season.
My swimsuit has two pieces.
I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor.
Musicians a.re so hot.
You write me a poem and tell me I'm beautiful
I'm self-conscious.
My room smells like vanilla
I cry often.
I don't do sports.
I HATE to run.
I squeal when I am horny. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)\
I eat dried fruit as a snack
I love romance novels.
Drew Barrymore is so cute.
I dance a lot in my underwear
I usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house.
I love to get dressed up.
Every part of my outfit needs to match.
I talk on the phone at least once a day to my friends.
I would love to have a photo shoot of myself.
Price on clothes hardly matters.
I apply lip gloss 50 times a day.
I wish I were a model.
I wish I could meet Paris Hilton.
I have been something that was slutty on Halloween.
I own UGGS.
Hip Hop is the best music.
I like to be the center of attention.
Guys with Mohawks are crazy.
Horses make me horny
I'd rather not pay attention in school.
Cats are adorable.
I write my own music.
I would love to visit Hawaii.
Valentine's day is so cute!
White is better than black.
I wouldn't be caught dead in all black.
My closet is STOCK FULL of clothes.
I hate the grunge look of a beard.
I love to read magazines.
I love to gossip
I had Lisa Frank folders, posters as a kid.
I love Celine dion.
My baths are two hours long.
My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned.
My friends and I are in a strict group. We mostly only hang out with each other.
I like kids.
Diet drinks are the best.
I'm all about being vegetarian.
I refuse to eat at McDonald's.
I check my nexopia everyday.
I LOVE life!
I have a lot of jewelery!
Claires has cheap jewelry.
My screen names has x's in them.
I would never want to be the opposite sex.
I have more than three pillows on my bed.

I would only do this for you Jenna!!!

1.Your Full Name: Jaclynne Luanne Sehlin

2. Age: 17

3. Single or Taken: Single (still trying to get used to it)

4. Favorite Movie: hmmmm....Big Daddy's pretty funny.....but i like half baked too!

5. Favorite Song: right now its girlfriend by Avril Lavigne (Just because its in my cheer music)

6. Favorite Band/Artist: dont know

7. Dirty or Clean: i dont get it...I like clean places like home and stuff....

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: tattoo soon and couple piercings

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of nexopia? yes

2. Whats your philosophy on life? Live like it was your last day alive.

3. Would you have my back in a fight? For Sure!!!!

4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? ummmm dont think so...

5. What is your favorite memory of us? Remembery day '04

6. Would you give me a kidney? If i only need one...then you could have my other

7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: I finally quit smoking!

8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? yea

9. Can we get together and make a cake? only if we could eat it after

10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately? no...but i never go out...i'm a hermit.

11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me? not about my Jenna-bear

12. Do you think I'm a good person? on certain days...kidding...

13. Would you drive across country with me? sure

14. Do you think I'm attractive? i would hump your face off....

15. If you could change anything about me, would you? yeah because your always grumpy...

16. What do you wear to sleep? wouldn't you like to know...

17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out? If your brother was dead...yes

18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you? yea but it better be a double date!

19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? smoke lots of....well you know what!!!!

20. Would you be a fellow ninja with me? that would be so wicked!

21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? i think i will

so bored....


I need to get a job and i have dropped resumes off everywhere i could and now i just gotta wait....

Love being out of school. DONE HIGHSCHOOL FOREVER!!!! Meaning I'm done with all the highschool bullshit as well...plus this is giving me more time to work out!!! It's going to be nice to wear a bikini this summer and know how hott i look in it


Anyways drink some beer
Fuck some people
And never forget to sit down and have fun

soooo... funny story about my grad picture....


so my mom makes me give my brother a grad picture...not just a small one an 8x10. so I'm like alright fine and then she picked the picture....

well i said that i looked like i was stonned in it (And I Actually wasn't stoned at this time) but shes like you look fine. So i give it to him...

He has some people over one night and the picture is in his living room and one of his buddy's asks him who it was and when he told him it was his sister then that guy asked if i was a stonner.... Well it seems funny to my right now because i am a lil stoned and yeah....




7 days now as a non-smoker...WICKED!

life goes on...and while i sat alone and miss him more and more i realized that life goes on...

Right now I know that I need to get some shit together...
Like dealing with my dad...my mom has had to pay over 2 grand now to my grad and college shit and my dad couldn't even pitch $250 for NAIT.

Well life goes on and today i'm going to finishing my house cleaning and relax...

By the way i got the hottest grad dress ever... LOVES IT!