PICKUP LINES I LOVE
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
Do you take it up the ass?
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
Fancy a fuck?
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked. Not enough Enough
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
NOW, BITCH!
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Your face or MINE!?
Your place or mine?
I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long
Let's go get liquored up and rape each other.
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
Chick do now.
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
Nice legs, lets eat out.
Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
Show me your pussy!
Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.
I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
Dah, wanna see my dink?
(silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?
Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?
Do you wanna lick my tongue?
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.
Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
]
