10 Reason Why You Should Date A Footballer:

1. They have the right touch
2. They are used to scoring
3. They can go in soft or hard
4. They make you scream for more
5. Sweating is no problem
6. Skill is definite
7. They'll play anywhere and anytime
8. They can go for 90 minutes in at least 11 different positions
9. Kicking ass is the same as smacking it
10. They always are on the top


HE WHO DRINKS GETS DRUNK, HE WHO GETS DRUNK GOES TO SLEEP, HE WHO GOES TO SLEEP DOES NOT SIN, HE WHO DOES NOT SIN GOES TO HEAVEN, SO LETS ALL DRINK AND GO TO HEAVEN





----->98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot.
If you are one of the 2% who hasn't, copy this into your profile<---



(8)you shouldnt through stones if u live in a glass house, and if you've got a glass jaw you should watch your mouth cause ill break your jaw(8)

10 reasons on why u should date a soccer player

1. We know how to kick it
2. We are used 2 scoring
3. We love grass
4. Well make u scream 4 more
5. Sweating is no problem
6. Skill is definite
7. We'll play anywhere and anytime
8. We can go for 90 minutes in at least 11 different positions
9. Kicking ass is the same as smacking it
10. We always are on the top



YOU KNOW UR CROATIAN WHEN...................

1.Your Dida has a shot of Rakija for breakfast

2.At least one family member makes his own wine

3."Sljivovica" or "Rakija" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to cure illness and as a massage lotion as well

4.At the age of 13, you are allowed to go out of town with your friends for Croatian soccer tournaments, folklore festivals and dances

5.You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk

6.Your parents were at the function where you got drunk

7.The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they aren't your relatives, you refer to their parents as "Teta" and "Striko"

8.You are the only kid in your class who doesn't get to sleep in on Saturdays because of "Hrvatska Skola"

9."Kuhace" are not only used for stirring when cooking...they are also used by Mama to beat you when there is no "siba" handy

10.At least once before you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and each time your parents said "Samo probaj"

11.Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion

12.When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same warnings (regardless of age): -"Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavu", "Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da ja sta cujem" Sadly, if something
actually does happen, somehow Mama will know before you make it home

13.Mama gets pissed off at you for bringing home McDonalds saying, "sta ce ti taj junk?"

14.Your parents insist that you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from "fakultet"

15.Lunch on sundays have more courses than Kanadani have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner

16.You know that in addition to fruit flavoured Jello, that gelatin can also be prepared with pigs feet

17.You love "pasteta", but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was

18.There is a slab of fat in your fridge called SLANINA

19.Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher

20.All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient "Vegeta"

21.Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand

22.All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a store somewhere and your mom starts to talk to you in english so that the serbian people won't find out you speak "their" language
and start trying to be your friend.

23.You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away

24.You have at least one short-wave radio in your house

25.You smell garlic on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the klupa in church on sunday mornings

26.There is a bar in your church hall that contains a 2 year supply of Brandy

27.You live with your parents until you are married

28.Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough

29.You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer)

30.When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata to send you "u pizdu materinu"

31.Baba and Dida wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons

32.Dida spits into a napkin at the dinner table

33.Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene

34.Dida insists you are quiet while he watches the news even though he doesn't understand a single word they're saying, regardless of the fact he doesn't understand what they're saying, he knows more about what's going on in the world than you do

35.You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as you were growing up

36.The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is Croatian

37.Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" you knew that it meant "NO!"

38.Everything that goes wrong in the world can somehow be traced back to Serbs

39.Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone before you and wears only name brand clothing

40.Your relatives in Croatia think it's strange if you are not married by the age of 18

41.You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland

42.You are only allowed to speak Croatian at home

43.English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which makes them Croatian... "play-ati", "study-ati"

44.You have 17 consenants in your name and only 2 vowels

45.Your 13 yr old sister can out drink a Kanadan

46.Your cringe when you hear the word BATINE and hide

47.Your dida mowes the lawn in knee high black socks and sandals

48.Your parents still prefer buying cassete's over cd's

49.No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a nickname for it

50.A Croatian wedding consists of a minimum of 400 people, 2/3 of which u dont even know

51.Your father expects you to study or "hit the books" every waking hour that he's home, and he expects nothing less than an "A".

52.A cold shiver runs down your spine when your mom threatens by using the word "tata" in a sentence.

53.Your mother still makes your bed.

54.Your parents can't pronounce "Thursday".

55.You have the biggest sandwiches at school, always consisting of "Prsut or Salami".

56.Your dad pronounced the silent B in Climb, Plumber, Comb etc

57.If you are female, you first name ends in "A".

58.You have a pair of wool slippers that your baba knit

59.On your birthday, your parents make you take a picture cutting the cake with a huge knife, and while blowing out the candles, and when everyone is clapping

60.When your Mom proclaims that she doesn't gossip about other Croats but full well knows that she does

61.Whenever you went by Baba's house, she offered you supa, sarma, pecenje or kolace and got mad if you didn't eat EVERYTHING

62.When you are told that you'll grow a tail if you drink coffee at a young age

63.When you can hear your parents talking, and you are across the street

64.When your baba would rather walk five miles to the grocery store instead of getting a ride.

65.'Cevapcici' on the grill are better than steak any day, and everybody knows how to cook it.

.......Your still laughing your ass off cause u know every single one of these are true

hipocrits
people who think they are better than you