HOT DAMN! it's fudge time!

That means if you feel like chillin' like villains should, then your villainous airs or professional villainy should be perfectly authorized for the chill chilliness of chilldom.

...and if you think that was the lamest thing you've ever read, read on.

Jolliness is a fish in a cake.
If we all ate pieces of this cake... well, we'd have a lot of fish.
are you fish?
"I eat so many peas I pee green!" (Grampa Collins)
now you jump... THEN you dance...
but if you do them both at once you will CRASH. then BURN.

Have you ever wanted to paint a kitten?
Then you should visit Avenue Q.

...?

hmm...

*plunges into self*
*GASP!*
I have found...
oh yes... SWEET!
A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS! AND THEY'RE NOT IN A FUCKING ROW!!!

I ask your skunk how far it can drink.
why is it mine, you say?
WELL.
once there was a starfish star in a blazing heaven where striking down that slut for her stones but do not stone her for the starfish blazing in heaven she trusts you not to type backwards through the gate until you've understood why the consequences open up to the mouse, who, unbeknownst to him, is flitting through a door in space without stopping for the cake that, until yesternight, forgot himself and thought he was to be herself unless she thought of him otherwise yet... cats and dogs understood and all, it's a shame and a sham that he himself should write down the knowledge, of all those books you wrote about the lizard and his cronies went to the pub down the street there was a man holding an umbrella shielded her from the rain poured down into his mouth opened wide into a galaxy owned by Jupiter was once the 13th planet from the sun brightens your day made mine worse even is the fact that all sheperds are congregating throughout the galaxies to the north, south and west are only my troops of donuts are waiting like donkeys.

...
oh god no... SECRETS! If you read the words in bold bold,
it reads:

Not unbeknownst to herself and himself, of all the rain from the sun, only my donuts are like donkeys.

wait for it... and try reading this as fast as you can...
*!!!TANGENT!!!*
Not is yes was not yes was
hooray whore yay whoray yay hooray
wast ist nost nest noose is yest nurst narst
yet yesterday not no yes yet no not yup yippee
yay!
*!!!UN-TANGENT!!!*

How would you describe walnut humour?
a) nutty
b) phallic
c) crunchy
d) not the same without the tangy zip of miracle whip

...unless you pick e), I will never love you again.
So did you pick e)?
You did, eh?
ZOMG! YOU FUMBLING SAC OF PUS!
There IS no e)!!!!!

I honestly don't take pleasure in burning people. I mean, I burn old work uniforms, but that's about it. Oh, and I burn puppies too. But that's only on milkshake nights.
I actually suck at burns. Honestly, try it. Insult me in any way you can, I SWEAR TO GOD my comeback will be the most pathetic thing you've ever seen!!! Know why? ...you think I'm going to tell you, don't you...

I've had wonderful experiences with jellyfish... and I don't mean in-the-kitchen-making-sandwiches. I mean holy-fuck-that's-a-fucking-jellyfish-where's-the-b​each.

***

"Well fuck you ma'am, but I don't want to deal with another little punk half my size who thinks he's cool because he just called me 'faggot'. I don't want some little prick saying he's going to beat me up because I like men."

I more sake! (yes yes, Jesus may have been gay, who knows.)

there.
you can uncover your FUCKING ears now.

PENGUINS
Is this indirect approval?



Non-white People (you guys add color to the world ) ps: Asha, Hodan, Suban, if you guys ever read this, I GOTS YOUR CHILDRENS, BITCHEZZ!
"Dag, yo."
Piano
Musicals
Good music
Video games
Good food (GUAY!)
Good people
Nice people
Crazy people
Insane people
Craisinsane people
Good movies
Alces
Un Chien Andalou
Drama
Good friends
Lethbridge
Montreal
Creepy drawings
Short-term memory
Happy Happy Fun Time
DIFFERENCE

People who hit on you because they think you're hot and not because of actual feelings or interest in getting to know you. Honestly, friendlings, have you never heard of lust?

I never know what to say when people ask "what's new" or "what's up" or "how are you?" because I hate repeating myself over and over again retelling whatever useless things happened to me during the day

Bush
Hilary Duff (FUCK. BITCH.)
Expensive clothes
Brand Whores
Money
Excessively blinding lights
Mornings
Humankind (well, the kind that kills things for cash)
Stupid people
Mean people
Boring people
Annoying people
People who like being bland
Bad movies
HOLLYWOOD
The Pope
Being worse at something than someone else
Bad music/singers
Pointless schoolwork
Racists
Sexists
Homophobes
Organized religion (the kind that hates, anyway)
Feeling like shit because of someone else's
People who say they're all "dark and evil and empty" just for attention or because they think it's cool
People who act all ghetto-gangster just because they think it's cool (really: it's not. you look REALLY stupid and you dress like clowns. Can ANYONE take you seriously?)
People who tell you to act "normal"
People who make bad jokes and laugh (i.e. me )
People who stare at you like you're a circus freak, disappear for a few minutes then come back with their friends so they can stare too
Stubborn people who believe their own opinion is the only right one
Pedos