So it's like 2am and I woke up about two hours ago, tired. Ten minutes passed and I was all pepped up. I'm now bored. So what do I do? Do the first and last ever blog post on nex.

So here's the story. I was walking down the street one day, people buzzing about me in one of two ways. Happy and joyous as one should during this holiday season, or depressed, because, well, there are a great deal of reasons, one of which may be that they're so fat, bald and ugly that they were shunned from most of the stores.

Anyways, I was walking down the street when I heard a person screaming for help. It appeared I was the only one. The only one who cared. I rapidly looked around, but there was no damsel in sight. I heard the scream again, this time louder. I looked above me and saw a woman dangling from a rope ladder on a helicopter. I rushed into an alley and climbed up the fire escape to the rooftops.

The helicopter was much faster than I was, but I managed to catch up, leaping from roof to roof. Finally,