Every person has their own story, and they are all different. They all have different turns, and different endings. Turning us into the people that we are today. But the thing is, we all learn from everything that has happened to us, and I don't find that so different.

This poem I wrote aroud the ending of last year I think, and it describes some real feelings when this happened to me.

-And So I Thought-
I was never sure where your mind went
With your eyes closed and head bent
But that also seemed to occur
After your hits executed and words slurred
I never seemed to know what I did
With the beatings so deadly and the words morbid
But every evening it was like this
I was the target and you never missed
And with my eye swollen and black
I try not to but can't help but think back
To the sincere person you were before
And when I saw you my heart soared
Now the only thing that flies is me
When hit after hit across the room I'll be
So now I open my eyes to another day
And I decide I don't want to be treated that way
But my courage vanishes out the door it's sent
As I look at you from the floor your eyes closed and head bent

~*~Wrote in 2004~*~

I have come to accept the fact that I have gone through depression and the fact that I thought about killing myself. Now I am coming to terms with things like that, and loving everything about myself. I thought about it, and ended up writing about it. This poem is not about something that happened to me, but just a story I created in memory of my depression.

-The Marks Of My Attempt-
Deep gashes remind me everyday
Of when I wallowed in pity and lived that way
They are deep and sore
But I want to try once more
Blood and muscle were bared
What a scene you should have been there
I must have passed out thinking I did right
And believe me I tried with all my might
But since they rushed me to the emergency room
I have to live in the empending doom
That I have failed to solve the problem of why I wept
As I stare at the marks of my attempt

~*~Wrote in 2004~*~

To be in love.... god. *smiles* The greatest feeling of all,.... but also the lowest. Especially, when they have no idea about ur feelings. *small frown*

-My Debate-
I try not to cry but I do
Everytime I think of you
You were here but now you're gone
I think you've moved on
No matter what I say to anyone
My love for you is not done
I ache for you so bad I wanna die
I love you so much all I want to do is cry
My hidden face stays behind a mask
Revealing it is quite a task
I want you so dreadfully to be here
Don't stay away but be here
Being without you put me in a horrid state
My feelings for you a daily debate
I lvoe them but I hate them
They are who I am
Why can't I make it one day without you?
Why can't I just stop loving you?

~*~Wrote In 2004~*~

This poem I wrote in memory of a friend, Kurtis Eggiman. Diagnosed and killed by cancer. We all love you and will miss such a great guy. See you soon, pal!!

-I Was There-
I was there when you began to cry,
I was there when you thought you'd die.
I stood beside you and held your hand.
You thought you'd never survive and I whispered "You can."
I was there when you grew weaker and weaker
And pale like when you had a fever.
I was there when you felt so alone
And held you when you came back home.
And now my dear child you sit here with me
Asking, "Father, how can all this be?"
I know it's hard for you my son
But your life on Earth is done.
You suffered so long and hard in your last days
I just couldn't bear to see you that way.
So I sent an angel to get you from your pain
So you'd be here never to endure it again.
"But Father", you say so puzzled in my arms,
"Where am I, as you say safe from harm?"
Why my son you are with me in glory,
And there are so many waiting to hear your story."
He pauses and wonders aloud, "What sotry is that Father?"
"Why," I answer, "the one that claims many sons and daughters.
The story of your life, your cancer and your heart.
The reason why people didn't want you to part.
They will have the strength to go on, my son, just wait and see.
I know how everything should be.
But you were a sheep in my flock that I greatly missed.
Now free to live without pain, my son, Curtis."

~*~Wrote On December 5, 2004~*~ RIP My Friend