CLAYTON TRENAMAN;



There once was a man named daver "flavour" lacey who decided to climb a tree. once he got to the very tip-top of the tree, he could swear he could see for miles and miles. when he got down, he was confronted by a pack of bloodthirsty ninja-cannibles who wanted a taste of his luscious flesh. Daver thought quickly, and round house kicked everysingle one of them in the face at the same time
but it didnt work the least, they kept coming, so he blew into a conch and summoned the help of his super group. Jon, Clayton, Aidan, James, and that brittish kid named sam. they all beat the living crap out of the ninjas and ate them for dinner
thats irony.
after our dinner of ninja corpses, we decided a nice super team stroll was in order.
on the way down a dark gloomy path there seemed an eerie presence in the toned breeze.
aidan large farts. we laugh. the tention we all felt ceases.
just at that moment sexy amazon women with 18 tits each spring from the trees. at first we're intreagued. at that moment sam is impaled through the skull with a spear
a spear made of dildos strapped to one another. we panic and start kicking fat ass left and right.
amazon milfs being thrown around like bloody rag dolls.
their spring attack now seen as feautile. they still have us in a half cornered cirlce. we're surrounded by sexy 18 breasted each amazon women.
aidan large screams out like a crushed antalope. "PLAN #32"
you can hear james's melencholy toned voice emerge from the depths of his diaphram
its almost beautiful
jon bailey backs it up with a bit on porno groove bass beat
aidan, clayton and dave now start shaking their hips just a little
the 18 breasted sexy amazon milfs are intregued. they lower their dildo spears from our direction. in place, we raise to them, the aidan large 22 inch erection

Part 2: the super sidekicks

The sidekicks of the super-awesome group: brendan, brock, lyle, doug, and that emo kid corey. were all eating the fecal matter of the super group to prove their worhiness
as they heard james's girlishly beautiful voice emerge into the depths of cave-awesome right behind it trailed the sound of a phunky porno super groove beat boxed out by none other than jon bailey himself
jon bailey then jumped into a 2,453 foot high canyon playing a guitar solo so awesome and super, that it would probably make your brains explode by just hearing about it
When jon bailey finally landed after 5 minutes of a free-fall drop, he didn't just land he used his super-awesome power stomp, and caused an earthquake so massive it caused every single valcano ever to violently erupt, even the dormant ones.
this massive destruction of the earths outter core and crust made many people angry. especially the super gay Elanis Morsett who jumped to the top of mount everest and sang. her song was the worst thing the super awesome group had ever heard.
she then gathered an army that consisted of 20 billion homosexual fans are angered by her crap singing and how much they are homosexual. From there she declared war on the super-awesome group and the sidekicks of team#2
the battle was to take place on the middle of the pacific ocean which was turned to a solid from the awesome amazing sound waves from jon bailey's super guitar solo, which erupted every volcano
and so...the battle began

Part 3: The Final Battle

As the super-awesome group and the super sidekicks or team#2 approached the army of 20 billion enraged, homosexual fans of Elanis Morsett they all agreed that brendan would have to buy the booze and hookers for after. They charged into battle...James Dunphy rushed in like a raging bull charging at james rutley's fat ass covered in red paint. he took out 67,000,000 homosexual fans at one head'a'ball, while kicking rugby balls so hard they turned into solid iron from the force bestowed upon them, blasting through the enemy, sending them millions of feet in the air, where they exited the atmosphere and became objects floating in space.
After Dunphinator came the super Emo sidekick, Corey who jumped in the middle of a million enemies and used his super emo ranger razor mosh dance them...his super emo mosh dance was so powerful, but ended in his own demise. the razors that were flying around cut him right in the jugular. aidan quickly ran over and pinched it shut, but corey was on his way. he said "I...I am...not....emo..." aidan then screamed in the air like an alpha male wolf howling at the moon. Aidan then jumped up and infarted-outfarted a fart so huge it took out 1 billion enemies in one giant wave of helium gas. they tried and tried to get to aidan, but his massive cloud of gas killed anyone who could get close to him.
Brendan thought it would be a good idea to go after Elanis Morsett herself. he could try this becuase of his stealthy self, all he had to do is turn sideways and he would dissapear. but Elanis wasn't fooled, she broke out into song, which vibrated brendans upper dorsimisses and solerplexes so violently, it ripped him in half.
Lyle came out of no where, the super group thought he went to a family BBQ but he ran full speed into the crown of enemies and super real big and punched their skulls into oblideron fragments in 1/4 of his punch killing millions. he then left and went back to the BBQ.
this left Aidan, Jon, Dave, Clayon, Doug, Brock, James for themselves. Brock went to the far left and TRANSFORMED INTO A SUPER DEATH SERVING BLOOD CURDLING TANK OF DOOM, and killed millions just by looking at them.
Doug ran at 1000km/h and tackled thousands of enemies to the ground and turned them into a fine mist on impact because of the momentum behind him.
Clayton and Daver lifted Jon Bailey into the air by his groinal region and they sent him flying in the air sending out an even more super-awesome guitar solo, which was to awesome for Elanis to comprehend, and her brains exploded on the spot.
While the super-awesome group were briefly celebration for what they thought as victory, they heard a mexican style classical guitar play from 1,000 feet behind them. and they saw Antonio Banderas floating down from the sky. Clayton wasnt paying attention, he was busy super macro super duper disgustingly fast and deal some death defying HS's to the enemy forces, but his macro skillz are kills fast but he couldnt pinch off enough HS;s and Antonio Banderas sent out a super move the super-awesome group was amazed at, he was dancing, singing, playing guitar, and sword fighting in a ZORO costume all at once, and he deflected clayton's super-awesome headshot, and clayton got a taste of his PWN medicine.
The super-awesome group of friends were absolutly pissed. Brendan, Corey, Sam, and Clayon were dead. so they needed to do some avenging.
James screamed at the top of his lungs, which very closely resembled Zena, the princess warriors battle scream. Aidan, Jon and Dave started dancing. the enemies thought this was the time to attack. but dave used his power. the most powerfull of all the super-awesome groups. he force grew his ass/back hair to concieve a mass of super ass hair tentacles of impalement. he was killing enemies right front and center, where all of a sudden Steve Irwin the infamous Crocodile Hunter popped out of actually no where and grabbed one of his tentacle, dangling it from its base. he screamed "CRIKEY" and was explaining what type of serpent it was in front of a camera, while he was holding his 2 month old baby boy. Dave's super tentacles of impalement quickly stabbed him in the heart, killing him instantly.
enemies were still trying to get to the super-awesome group, but daver's ass tentacles were so thick and dense, the enemies couldnt get to them.
Antonio Banderas was fed up, he sent out a wave of classical mexican-style guitar rippling through the air. this knocked all the super-awesome group members back except for daver.
he was face to face with Antonio. Antonio made a move, but Daver was too quick and stabbed him 600 times in the back, and the threw him in the air. Antonio landed on the ground nothing more than a bloody mass of awesome destruction.
FINALLY the battle was over. the super-awesome group of friends: Aidan, Dave, Jon, Doug, Brock, and James were truimphant. they felt a surge of sorrow in them and started walking down what was a bloody mess of lifeless bodies spread across the solidified pacific ocean.
the sorrow was so deep they all cried, their tears and sadness made every unicorn alive join them and cry with them. with that, it gave daver an idea. the idea to use these unicorns sadness and tears to resurect his fallen comrads from their desolate fates. daver took antonios acustic guitar, busted the top off, got every unicorn to cry out their tear ducts till they were dry, and drenched all the fallen party members wounds with the tears of resurection. a surging light blinded everything inside the galaxy. as our eyes readjusted we noticed there was gayity and laughing. it was clayton, he was pretending to jerk off a unicorn horn and pointing and laughing.
As they were walking away, James broke out into song again...his melencholy toned voice emerge from the depths of his diaphram and started singing that song from the breakfast club that seems to get stuck in your head for a long time, then you forget about it, and forget the lyrics. he was singing DONT YOU...FORGET ABOUT ME
and the Super-Awesome Group of Friends walked away from their last battle. and then jumped in the air just as the camera stopped, adding that emotional ending, that leaves you feeling complete, and like you have achieved something.

THE END BITCHES.
Written by: Aidan Magnus Large
and Dave Mawfuggin Lacey

Months after the great battle between Elanis Morsett and her super homosexual fans, the super-awesome team were in mourning for their fallen comrad, corey, who was not able to be resurected by unicorn tears. unicorns were too happy of a creature to be able to resurect his cursed soul. ...then james shrieked a loud squeel, and we all looked around, and they heard the sound of a distressed emo.. the singing of a band that is heavy, but soft guitar with a whining, soft voice singing..."Complications inside of me Reminds me that my heart won't always beat"...and in the grusome mess of unicorn feces James Super-Dunphy was singing and dancing along to this song but then out of no where outpoped Corey Brown, as emo as ever. he wore all black on this hot summer day with a long black, pink polka dotted scarf around his sleek neck. He stood tall and proud as a makeup smeared tear slided down his face. He looked strong and hard at the Super-Awesome team, and said..."Hello friends"

The Super-Awesome friends were back in full power once again. On our way back to the super-awesome cave, we saw the body of the dead Sammerman Webber, that british kid whos always around. The unicorn that james was riding backwards let out one last tear before it collapsed and died. this tear was enough to bring back that british kid back to life. He stood up and started talking in what sounded like a different language but was really just how those dam brits talk.

we were in utter awe and amazment. suspended from within his skull was a.. spear.. not just any spear, a spear made of nothing but dildos and strap on straps holding its thick base together. we all have a merry laugh at his expense and turn it on vibrate. the vibrations loosen it from the skull fragments which it was lodged into. from the hole in the middle of his cranium falls a dictionary. the dictionary reads: "super sam webbsters dictionary sligger IIV" yet again, we stare in utter amazement and awe. only seconds later it burst into a blue flame. james shats his pants in confusion. at that, more dictionaries pour out of the gaping hole in his cranium.

a cloud of dust emerges from within the distance. the quite buzz of motors coming near. from the eyes of clayton trenaman, ultimate HS masta, he informs us that its a bunch of illiterate rednecks. the super-awesome team were shocked, we did as much as we could to prepare for the battle but the
illiterate rednecks driving their beat-up fords were to fast for us. they arrived like lightening.

The sight of the rednecks was horrible, they had yellow rotting teeth, john deere hats, and plaid jackets. All 7 of them pulled out a .12 guage shotgun and aimed at the team. right before they fired Sam Webber stepped up and used his dictionary super power of knowing a plentiful amount of words and in battle which is utterly useless. The dictionaries with really long words came flying out the hole of where the dildo spear of the 18 breasted amazon woman was.

in a blink of an eye the rednecks were dead. illiterate and dead. as the super-awesome team looked on in utter amazement, same webber stood on the pile of dictionaries and said, HMM RIGHTEO OUT'A THE OL' NOGGIN'..PIPIP, LET US RETIRE AND HAVE SOME AFTERNOON TEA WHILE RELAXING ON THE NEW CHESTERFIELD.

as we drink tea back at the super awesome cave, we hear a disgustingly ear shattering squeel which chilled the very blood of your veins, who but carly neuman shatters down the front door which is oddly enough made of glass. from the gaping shattered plane of nothingness which was once our unpenitrable front door. infiltrates a super megan bores-us-with-polititcal-information-till-we-fall- asleep hutt...from her supperior knowlege about political information no one gives a shit about she bores james dunphy's brains out in a gel like ooze.

meanwhile jons already on his guitar trying to cover the sounds of carly's squeels of tormention, with a guitar solo so awesome it would prolly make you brain explode just hearing about it of course. but it's not enough brock gets fed up and starts shooting the fattest cartridge slugs from his transformed tank like body, its a furry of anger and lust for destruction one hits carly square in the box, no pun intended, she lets out a meniachal screach that travels through the air like a pair of gorganchuous, rusty scissors, which cut brendan in half in one sleek motion.
our super awesome team is losing troops by the second

Corey comes out of the super-awesome loo with scarred, bloody wrists. he is ready for the greatest battle of his sad little life. he grabs a lasoo noose, and swings it around his head. he aims at megan and throws it. the noose catches the back of his own head instead and gets wrapped around a fan on the roof, hanging him from the cieling. Sam that dam brit, runs over and screams some long words in a funny accent. at this time carly screams her loudest scream. it blows sam's head into a million dictionaries and leaves his mangles corpse on the base of the super-awesome cave.

Brock and Clayton are shooting like crazy, trying to give off headshots hither and tither. then out of nowhere comes megan talking about the librals and how they own the conservatives and what not. this drives brock insane, he shoots himself in the head splattering brains all over clayton's face. Enraged, Clayton starts shooting at megan and carly, but their super squeeling/boring protection field blocked the HS's. Clayton ran away, not looking and his head went right smack into a rhinosaurus' horn. The rhinosaurus then started charging. it ran right through Doug, ripping his body to a million bits. Jon stood up on one of the plaid chesterfields and started playing his super-awesome guitar, but the rhino was too fast, and sent jon's guitar flying through the air, where it smashed on the cave wall. Jon was enraged. He pulled out an amazing red and purple Flying-V and started to strum like no one has ever heard. meanwhile aidan was brewing up the biggest fart ever, but the waves of jon bailey's guitar were too strong and they made aidan's intestines explode from the inside out.

while this was happening the rhino charged jon bailey's ass hole. it's horn went right through him sticking out his belly button. as he was dying he screamed, "DAVE... SECTION 32-D OF SAM WEBBER'S DICTIONARY". dave quickly got sam's dictionary and looked in section 32-d, it was the words, SIM SIM SALLABIM. this temporarily halted megans waves of boringness. and muted carly for a short period. in this time the remaining Dave and Lyle were regrouping where they heard the familliar statement "They have weapons of mass destruction" and who was it...it was George Dubya Bush with the entire US army. dave screamed "SWEET CUCUMBERS" and he was shot into a thousand meat chunks.
and then there was lyle.

lyle is so sad and enraged he takes every shot the us army can pinch out. he screams in aggony and realises he has only one love. his now dead comrads. as he takes round after round to his titanic sized body he's slowly losing power. in this realisating he gathers all of our now mortaly defiled bodies. he picks up our mass of corpses and bear hugs them so hard and so lovingly that a single beam of light emits from within the heap of dead super awesome team. beam after beam, growing into rays, as soon as the us army can respond or make another tactical monouver lyle has disapeared into the gargantious globe of heavenly realms. the blinding light ceases within a matter of a millasecond from within it stands not lyle nor the super awesome team...but stands a gargantuous being, i guess one could call it the god of gods..it has the tough skin of lyle, the sharp eagle eyes of clayton..the gas of aidan..the ass hair tentacles of dave..the thinness of brendan..the strength of doug..the emo-ness of corey..the speed and agility of james dunphy..the disgustingly large ass and pectorial muscles of jon bailey.. the fierce fighting ness of brock..and from within the inners of this superior beings halo a hint of british laughter could be heard. and out popped the bad british teeth of sam webber.

the super-awesome god lays havoc to the US army in everyway possible, no one could even dream of escaping. by this time megan and carly are mere mortals us. We..the Super-Awesome group used our super ruck over, leaving no one left standing in our wake of destruction not even the earth of which we stand

the super-awesome team decided then to summon the magical warlocks and wizards of the solar system and they cast a spell where the earth used to be, and they created a new one. one of beauty, wealth, and peace...

...or so they thought.

Written by: Aidan Magnus Large
and Dave Mawfuggin Lacey

As the Super-Awesome team arrived on what they thought was a fresh new planet Earth. upon their arrival there was a tourist sign. it said "WELCOME TO HEAVEN MAWFUCKAAZ" The super-awesome team were suprised...were they actually dead? was it possible? could their own massive destructive power have thrown them into oblivion also? "I know what you're all thinking and the answer is no" said a booming voice from above , and this figure that looked like part pig, part human, and part rat came down. he said "I'm God" we stared in utter amazement. yet drawn back in disgustment. yet at the same time, oddly arroused. aidan popped like 16 boners at the glorifying sight of the holy one himself.don't act like you're not impressed
god stepped down from a golden pedestal and said. "You all are heroes here, you may do whatever you please...the world is yours" the moment of hearing this brock started shooting angels down from the billowing clouds with his engineered tank like bodys built in cannons and plasma rifles god couldnt even dignify this action with words. he stood, watching brock destroy innocent harp wielding angles then spoke out in his important glorified voice. God stood up high and said "Killing these innocent angels is the work of the devil"...clayton then said FUCK YOU and gave him the most uber micro HS ever to have come to rl...blood was pouring down gods holy featured pig, rat, human like features of his face, the blood got into a mess in his eyes, he stumbled and tripped on the cloud on which he was standing he lunged forward to try and catch himself, by doing this he just projectiled himself face first into a stone like solidified DOUG WILKISON FIST OF HURT!! the punch was just and true, the blow was straight to the middle of gods magnificent cranium Brendan ran straight for god with his body turned sideways. brendan lunged at god, and stretched so skinny and so wobbly that he wrapped around god constricting him until his eyes actually imploded.
With god laying on the ground just about to get up. Corey the emo jumped past the line of awesome team members and gave god a flurry of elbows right to his solurplex. dave then stepped forth and decided to take god on himself...throwing a book of mormon at gods pig like feet. aidan knew this was his que. he ran up, you could see the concentration in his face and the depth in his stance of form. he was in the squating possition cooking up the most lethal fart that had ever been relased in existance. we knew the day would come, we had practiced for it many a'days and many a'nights. we all got behind lyle's mammoth leather-like skinned towering body and branced ourselves for the worst.
the flatulence was gargantuous. it blew off all the bald angels toupei's then incinerated them moments later. God thought this wave of immensely powerful helium gas was nothing, yet he still braced himself for the worst. The wave hit like god like that tsunami that killed over 300,000 asians in 2004, knocking god several hundered feet in the air, then he was impaled by a statue of himself covering the heavens as far as the eye can see. because he's concieded and loves himself too much cuz he mother never hugged him when he was a small child.
then suddenly it smelled of roses.. The billowy clouds of heaven starded to dissapear and what used to stand in front of them, the mighty golden gates of heaven, was now a vast forest..
We, The super-awesome team were exchanging high-fives and butt slapps when we heard a noise Jon Bailey screamed "ZE GERMANS..ZE GERMANS ARE COMING" and in front of us stood Hitler, barely 5 foot 6 with a square black moustache, velcro gloves which attached to a goats wool so it wouldnt run away. He started corressing the goat and told us that he and the goat were to be wed this afternoon. he then started showing the goat his "intimate relations". they made love in front of us. discusted we all turned away, except for james who was staring wide eyed, james dunphy hates animal cruelty unless its due to a cats expense. With a lust for goat supremacy he conjured up what looked like a normal rugby ball. With a ripple cutting through the air we all looked, it was the immense leg muscles rippling as he booted the ball so hard it metamorpasized into solid iron from the power bestowed upon it. The now solid iron comet hurling towards Hitler hit him just below the.. what am I saying? It obliterated him into a fine mist with a reddish tinge. The goat was unexpectedly unharmed. Sam webber piped up “righto that was quite the old adventure we have fallen upon, shall we head back and gander upon some male pornography and give each other a stranger as we indulge upon a fine cup of sherry tea, wot wot?”
We all gave out another round of ass slaps and fist pounds towards sams interviening statement. After a moment it dawned upon us we hadn’t understood a word he had spoken the whole time he’s been with us. At this we ventured homeward forth. All we knew was we destroyed a false belief and owned some fascious faces. From the stench of human fetus’s yet again, we knew we were back on our beautiful home planet. EARTH!!
Tune in next week for episode #4 with another epic twist. Who knows what’ll happen, and what catastrophic event will take place.


Written by: Aidan Magnus Large
and Dave Mawfuggin Lacey