first off, this boy is almost a man, lol
second.. i love him.
third. for many fucked up reasons, we'll never be together.
your first love, even if you end up "hating" them, you'll always love them.
you cant help it, its just that feeling you get that you can not get rid of.
when im with him, i feel insane. i cant get over that feeling.
maybe im just a stupid little girl. and doesnt know a clue about love.
but i cant help it, i have a feeling and i show it, i have no remorse.
when i would look into his eyes, i never thought he would let me go, never thought anything bad could happen, i mean i was aware of the possibility, but i didnt think anthing bad would actually happen.
i thought i was his, and he was mine.
forever.
i thought wrong.
and now silly me must suck it up
get over it and move on.
but now he wants to be my friend,
i want that too,
but i jus hope i have the courage to sit next to him, and not be the little girl i am and just be his friend, and act like i dont have those feelings,
now how the fuck do i do that..?
i guess ill just need some time...
loves a mother fucking cunt.
and i like it.

The drugs begin to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer
You won't try to save me!
You just want to hurt me and leave me desperate!

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had.
I can forget, the times that I was
Lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine!

You won't leave me alone!
Chisel my heart out of stone, I give in every time.

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had
I can forget, the times that I was
Lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine!

I bet you laugh, at the thought of me thinking for myself (myself).
I bet you believe, that I'm better off with you than someone else.

Your face arrives again, all hope I had becomes surreal.
But under your covers more torture than pleasure
And just past your lips there's more anger than laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on, I'll break you, my habit!

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had.
I can forget, the times that I was
Lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine!

I will save myself!

* N e v e r * S a y * I * L o v e * Y o u *
* I f * Y o u * D o n ' t * R e a l l y * C a r e *
* N e v e r * T a l k * A b o u t * F e e l i n g s *
* I f * T h e y * A r e n ' t * R e a l l y * T h e r e *
* N e v e r * H o l d * M y * H a n d *
* I f * Y o u r * G o i n g * T o * B r e a k * M y * H e a r t *
* N e v e r * S a y * Y o u * A r e * G o i n g * T o *
* I f * Y o u * D o n t * P l a n * T o * S t a r t *
* N e v e r * L o o k * I n t o * M y * E y e s *
* I f * A l l * Y o u * D o * I s * L i e *
* N e v e r * S a y * H e l l o *
* I f * Y o u * R e a l l y * M e a n * G o o d * B y e *
* I f * Y o u * R e a l l y * M e a n * F o r e v e r *
* T h e n * S a y * Y o u ' l l * A l w a y s * T r y
* N e v e r * S a y * F o r e v e r *
* C a u s e * F o r e v e r * M a k e s * M e * C r y

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength
You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane
Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire.

one of the worst feelings in the world is when someone makes you feel like you should be ashamed of who u love most.
if i were ashamed to love him then i wouldnt love him.
i wish you understood, someday you will. jus part of teenagers growing up.
ily. but..
friends come and go, you dont find love that easily. that you should understand atleast.
i never wanna see you upset. cuz i kno its all my fault. and i can not change how i feel

i try to laugh at anything possibly funny cuz id rather be happy then sad, no matter how "immature" things are or i am. its my way of being happy so. stfu to u... "just saying"

i has plus for the first time o ma lifee >.<

i love you i love you i love you
i decided it would be better to make you another hack sober haha.
so if you havent noticed you the person i love most in the whole world.
if i had to choice between oxygen and you i'd say i love you with my last breath.
oh cheese and fries, i love your smile, your bum, your hair, your legs, your eyes, your face your every thing!
no ones ever meant this much to me before.
your kisses give me butterflies and you hugs make me feel loved
i love you. oh so much i love you.
i never even been able to say such things as this since the incident.
and your the only one ive been able to say this too since then.
i love your smooth skin and how amazingly our hands go together
your my everything, srsly. i just can't get enough of you, i just cant get you off my mind.
now every love song seems to remind me of you in a way.
love forever
and if you were ever to become a zombie, it would be very hard to shoot you. <3
jevousaime

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