mmkay so i have a crush on a boy in grade 9.

it's not the same boy as in the last blog entry.
nope.

<3[/size][/b]

so i like a boy.
which sucks.
actually it's fabulous.
but it sucks who he is

[/b].
i like him so[/b] much. it's actually incredible.
i can't go a day without hugging him.
i have these cravings for him. his hands, his hair, his arms.
it's ridiculous.
i love it.. i mean i'm happy i have this feeling.
but.. i'm trying hard to let it go.
we're best friends.
so i can't have this feeling.
i can't wish he would just hold me every second of every day.



but i do.[/color][/font][/center]

just thought i'd share this with everyone.

what your name means.
instructions: what you do is find out what each letter of your name means, then connect all the meanings and it describes you!

a = you can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
b = you are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
c = you definitely have a partier side in you, but are a little bit shy to show it.
d = you have trouble trusting people.
e = you are a very exciting person.
f = everyone loves you.
g = you have excellent ways of viewing people.
h =you are not judgemental.
i = you are always smiling & trying to make others smile.
j = you get jealous very easily.
k = you like to try new things.
l = love is something you deeply believe in.
m = success comes easily to you.
n = you like to work, but you always want a break.
o = you are very open-minded.
p =you are very friendly & understanding.
q = you are a hypocrite.
r = you are a social butterfly.
s = you are very broad-minded.
t= you have an attitude; a big one.
u= you feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
v= you have a very good physique and looks.
w= you like your privacy.
x= you never let people tell you what to do.
y= you cause a lot of trouble.
z= you're always fighting with someone.



okay so if we do the math, my name says that:
* i'm very broad-minded (which is true)
* i have a big attitude (which is true)
* i'm a very exciting person (which is true)
* i'm very friendly & understanding (which is true)
* i'm not judgemental (which is true)
* i can be very quiet when i have something on my mind (which is true)
* i like to work, but i always want a break (which is true)
* i'm always smiling & trying to make others smile (which is true)


so the conclusion is these ridiculous quizzy things
everyone thinks are so gay
are actually freakishly real.[/i][/color]

i love how rebecca comes over at one in the morning for a sleepover / oc marathon.
i love how melodie can have me on the phone for hours, & never once is there a silence.
i love how natalie can make me laugh harder than anyone else can. especially when she's mad.
i love how kayla blushes so much when she's the slightest bit embarassed.
i love how karli acts so tough when someone makes fun of her in a joking way.
i love how stacey & me read eachother all our poems over the phone.
i love how kelsey & me can carry on an hour-long conversation of sentences starting only with "i love how.."
i love how nichole & us are like attatched at the hip already, after only like a day or two!
i love how sabrina & me base our lives on hot guys.
i love how lara records herself singing on her computer.
i love how jordyn will walk with me to mac's at midnight wearing skirts as shirts & hawaiian leis around our waists.
i love how dayna swears like a sailor.. and doesn't take any crap from riley b.
i love how chantal is possibly the sweetest human being ever born.
i love how jade laughed at me when i'd try to piss off judy.
i love how jess is so addictive; after one night of drinking, i could never imagine living without her!
i love how katie will cry on webcam with me for hours on end.
i love how brittany & me always remind me of those hillbilly-laughing fish from the spongebob movie.
i love how hintz & me can talk about anything, ever.
i love how kim yells "fuckin' rights!" every single time she sees me at any party.
i love how melissa is like the funnest girl i know, & teaches me how to do good make-up.
i love how riley gives hugs that i cannot go one day without.
i love how roman helps me find the most amazing music that i potentially could not live without.
i love how chad makes me smile uncontrollably, without even saying anything; even just his name does it.
i love how neil & me can have like 7 hour conversations about music, or girls. or anything.
i love how scotty p can make me smile, even by just making eye contact with me.
i love how basil is always up for a bear hug.
i love how scott h runs away from me when i try to give him a hug.
i love how john makes me laugh, even just looking at him. =)
i love how jon is so obsessed with hockey; that makes me laugh.
i love how colin can make me laugh until tears roll down my cheeks.
i love how nick won't put me in his comic. wait, i actually HATE it. =(
i love how andrew can make me unbelievable horny, so easily.
i love how eric always just randomly shows up places.
i love how riley b & me have the most amazing talks you'll ever hear.
i love how garry won't call me by ANYTHING but "willette".
i love how meyer sucks at hugs; & when i tell him he does, he squeezes me so i can't even breathe.
i love how cleughy sounds like an old man on the phone.
i love how cherd lets me call him cherd. cause it's really lame. i'd never let someone call me cherd.
i love how rex sends off extremely homosexual vibes.
i love how justin is like the funniest person i'll ever meet.
i love how mitch comforted me when i cried at the lake because of those screams.






ps: if i forgot anyone, don't have a cow. i'll add you.

<3

[/color]r. spence
best friends since we were.. how old? i can't even remember. so many amazing
memories; from running across the street holding hands, to your mom's "shoulder
checks", to weekend drinkfests. and there's many more to come baby. i love you
more than anything; and nothing can or will EVER change that. <3
k. gagnon
kaylaa my singing angel. our relationship has also been very up-and-down, but
again, at the end of the day, all the tears and battle wounds were worth it. lol
you've been so great to me, and you've helped me though a lot of bad shit. you're
one of the most amazing girls i know; and always will be. i love you so much. <3
k. pedreira
karli oh man. where do i even start with you. boy i don't know what it is with me
and these roller coaster relationships, but ours would definitely be classified as
just that. we had our ups and definitely our downs, but i believe that in the end, i
got one of the best friendships i'll ever have. i love you so fucking much. <3
n. ardita
natalina my love. god, if i knew how to count to infinity, i'd try and count all the hilarious
memories we've had together. from drive-by shootings at the empire, to puppet
shows about stupid idiot boys, my life wouldn't be the same without you. not to
mention how dull school would be. i love you so amazingly much, woppy. <3
m. byrne
oh man. our friendship is like a friggin' rollercoaster ride baby. but, at the end of
the day, i could never ask for a better best friend than you. you've helped me
so incredibly much throughout the entire 6 years i've known you; and i could
never thank you enough for that. i love you more than life itself, baby. <3
f. perron
wow frey. i honestly don't know what to say. you are one of the most amazing
people i've ever known in my entire life; and you always will be. we spent 3
great years as best friends, and i promise it won't stop there. no separation will
ever let our friendship die. i love you so much my little hippie girl. <3
s. hamulka
woww my shtacey i don't even know where to start with you. it blows my mind how
close we've gotten, in only like what.. a few months? we met under odd circumstances,
but i'm so glad we did. i love you very very very much x 14298723409873214057. <3
k. hinds
wow kelsey hinds. we've had so many awesome memories; the weekend at lilac
which was like one of the funnest ever. i'm so glad you came and we got to spend
that time together. i love you so fricking much babe. <3
s. hintz
oh god. our lives have been crazy lately, well ever since we've become friends,
and i'm so glad we're as close as we are. i don't know what i would've done with
myself if i didn't have you by my side. i love you, man. steph squared forever. <3
j. slominsky
ohh my god girl. i can't even begin to explain to you how happy i am that we're as
close as we are. i've gotta say, going to your lake each summer is honestly the
highlight of my summer. more amazing weekends to come. i love you baby. <3
l. franklin
oh man lara. haha i can't even start with all the hilarious and amazing times we've
had.. from great hawaiian music on your outside speakers to drunken beach parties;
all these memories mean the world to me. i love you so incredibly much sweetie. <3
d. hogg
oh god my dayna. wow. where do i even start with you girl.. you've made me laugh
so much and i don't even know what my life would be like without you in it. you know
exactly how to make me so happy; and i love you more than anything for that. <3
k. robinson
every single time we're together we have so much fun. like almost too much fun. lol
but whenever i'm with you i am so happy. you're such an amazing girl; and i can't
imagine what my day would be like without you. i love you very very very much. <3
c. pettinger
aww sweetie pie. god i don't even know what to say about you. i could start with
you being one of the sweetest, more adorable beautiful girls i've ever known. or how
amazing of a friend you are, and always have been. i love you baby. <3
j. mason
oh man jess. i can't believe how amazing you are. actually, i can believe it. we haven't
hung out that much, but lately we've had like the best times ever. i can't wait to
chill more with you; because you are such a great girl. i love you very much. <3
b. cassan
brittany brittany brittany. lol man we've had probably some of the best times ever. and
i wouldn't trade them for the world. we've been.. on-and-off friends since like grade 3
or whenever we met. and we're still going strong. i love you so much. <3
m. geeregat
wow mel. we've been best friends since we were.. how old? i think that's amazing
and even though you live far away and we don't see eachother often or even talk often,
we'll always have that special bond we've always had. i love you so fucking much. <3
m. nelson
oh man melissa. so many good times even though we haven't known eachother for
that long. some amazing parties & memories to come and i can't waitt to hang out with
you more. you're so frickin' amazing, and so beautiful. i love you so much! <3
a. fry
ohh my beloved apple twin. you've helped me through some intense times, and i can
only hope i've done the same for you. you will always be one of my closest friends
and apple twin. thank you for being such an amazing friend. i love you so much. <3
k. poirier
holy man. kim, i can't even get over how amazing you are lol. we've only been friends
for like maybe a few months. but i love whenever we hang out or talk, even if it's
for like a second. and i can't wait to party with you morre. i love you very much. <3
[/center][/color][/size]

<3

[/color]
r. slominsky
riley. i don't know what my life would be like if it wasn't for you. you are honestly
one of the most important people to me in my life. so many good times with you that
i would never trade for the world. i love you with all my heart & more. <3
r. chappel
wow roman. so many good times and so many more to come. i love your fan club and
i also love how that used to be me. but it definitely paid off, because look how close
c. jensen
chadd. so many great memories with you; and some bad ones too, but i'll never forget
the feeling i got when you told me you loved me. thank you for being there for me. i love you. <3
r. branconnier
god riley. where do i even start with you. from mudfights, to religion talks at 3 in the morning,
to drunken beach parties, you're one of the most amazing boys i know. i love you so much. <3
s. jorgensen
oh man sean. i don't even know where to start with you. that summer we had
was probably the best summer of my life. i wouldn't take it back for anything in the
world. i hope we'll always stay as close as we are. i love you and always will. <3
c. smith
my colinn! god i always have so much fun when you're around; you sure know how
to keep me laughing. you're one of the greatest guys i know. i love you lots. <3
m. trudel
markkk my love. i can't even begin to explain how much you've helped me throughout
the few months we've known eachother. i'm so glad i met you. i love you very very much. <3
s. collins
steverrr god so many good times with you man. woodhaven hill in like -50 degrees;
windchill: -1000, to amazing drunken times at garry's. i love you so much man. <3
a. dow
i really like how you always act like you don't like us girls. but i know you love us so
you can stop pretending. haha lots of good times man. i love you a lot. <3
r. martin
god rex you're such an asshole. lmfao totally joking but yeah so many amazing times
and memories with you man. you're a really great boy. i love you. <3
a. cleugh
cleughyyy oh man from a very sexual round of wheel of fortune to passing out at
garry's.. so many great memories. i love you very very much. <3
a. jensen
jensenn. wow i can't really start to explain how great you are. it's a bit weird, since you're
my sister's boyfriend and all, but you really are such an amazing guy. i love you lots. <3
j. holland
oh god justin. "katie! katie is that you?! katie!!" haha god so many hilarious times with
you man. you always know how to make me smile, so thank you. i love you. <3
m. gervais
oh god mitch. you were there for both of the best weekends ever; so there's like
an endless amount of hilarious memories. more to come i'm sure. i love you so much. <3
g. vandor
oh god garry so many amazing drunken times at your house. i can't wait until your
sweet 16! it's gonna fucking rock. anyways, i love you very much baby. <3[/center]

in my dreams, he's always there.
& we're together.
we just sit there & hold eachother
& listen to our hearts & our breath.

there's no distance. there's no lies.
there's no games[/i]. there's no other girls.
there's nothing else[/u]. just me & you.

it's pretty much[/i] a perfect world.[/font][/color]

By: xMannequinx Date: Sep 14, 2005 4:21:04 pm
I love you..
I'd do anything for you..
anything.
don't ever forget that..
ever.
<3
By: xMannequinx Date: Sep 14, 2005 4:07:47 pm
This is insane..
I can't eat..
can't sleep..
can't think..
I can't do nothin' without you..
I'll love you forever..
no one can ever replace you..
ever.
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
By: xMannequinx Date: Sep 14, 2005 3:40:16 pm
This is tearing me to shreads..
I can't stand this..
you're my life.. my everything..
I love you..









i want that. </3[/b]

so i know why god doesn't stop the bad stuff.
the fighting, the killing, the robbing, the yelling.

it's because they say everything looks pretty from far away.

god can't sit all the way up in heaven on his big throne,
and look down to the world
and be able to see clearly what every person is doing.

the man and woman fighting in their living room
maybe he thinks they're just dancing.
maybe he's just unaware.
maybe that's why the bad stuff keeps going.[/color]

when you make that oath to someone
when you say that they're your best friend
it means you'll do anything for them, and use all the power you can,
to help them when you know they need you the most.
once you state the label of best friends,
nothing can tear you two apart.
not a boy, not a girl, not the end of the world. nothing can separate this bond you two have formed.
nothing can posess you to throw away all the memories, all the battles and challenges
that you two, as best friends, have gotten through together.
helped eachother through, as one, because once you're best friends,
when they hurt, you hurt.
you've adopted a piece of their heart,
and given them a piece of yours in return.
so that when they feel, so will you.
best friends means no disagreement, no misunderstanding will mean a thing.
a couple days of dirty looks and rumors.
but after the drama, you two are back together, as one unit,
standing together in the path of the dangers ahead of both of you.
best friends means forever.
when me and you made that pact of not just friendship, but best friendship
we told ourselves that we'd always have eachother.
not to worry, because the other would always be there for us, to help us, to save us
no matter what has happened or is happening.
and nothing could ever tear us apart.
that's what best friendship is all about.
a misunderstanding shouldn't be the cause of the complete breakup of two best friends.
it takes extreme measures and ridiculous events
to completely break the bond that two best friends have,
whether it's over a course of a long time, or in one split second.
now, i don't know what that extreme event was
that made you decide that our best friendship was worth being broken up over
and i'm not asking you to explain it to me
all i'm asking is that you really think..
if in the long run, is this all worth it?
the stupid fights that friends have..
no.. that best friends have.
are they really worth losing someone who's practically your sister?
you've been my best friend for years
and i know that what we have is special, and not many people get the chance to have a relationship like we do. or, did.
maybe i cherish this way too much, maybe you don't,
but i know that it takes two certain people to achieve that certain level of best friendship,
and i know we got there.

[/center]

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