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05:51am | Apr 25, '09 |
Comments(1)it's coming back. i thought i got rid of it. i thought i had clensed myself of its evil...
what is it?
its ME.
my old self
right when i had made a triumph over me, i came back.
i can remember when i used to be utterly ocward. that shy hearted, over abnoncous kid. who thought nothing about what he said or did. i know over the last years he went away. i became mature and accepted.
and now...
now i have you! you draw me out. it is your best quality. i know i can"t hide myself from you. i have been alright with that. but ... now ... your drawing this out of me. this thing that appears to be me.
i dont want you to see "me" cause it isn't me. its who i USED to be.
now i am left with three hopes
one. you will forgive me
two. you will read this and understand my self confusion and fustration
and three. mostly for you. that i can drive this personal demon back to the abis, so all that is left is the landan that i really am
i love you
i've missed you
i am more deeply sorry that written words can say.