This will continually grow, good times!
I found Jesus at the bottom of a bottle of hooch, but after the heroin wore off it turned out to be a large spider corpse and in fact not Jesus after all.
But yes, proof would be nice. Personally, I don't really care. I don't believe in god, and "his" (read: crazy people claiming to represent his) views on sexual morality don't hold much sway in my life. Homosexuality is no less moral to me than bisexuality or heterosexuality. Wanting to fuck somebody of the opposite sex is no badge of virtue (wow - you're horny - good job), and wanting to have sex with someone of the same gender is no scarlet letter in my book.
It's not like I'd use a nuke if I had one. I'd just put it in my living room (possibly as a coffee table) and stare at it and polish it and jerk off on it and polish it again and dress it up and have little tea parties with it...
Why don't they just build a giant rubber cock? Paint american flag colors on it, let it sway gently in the breeze, and cockslap Manhattan on windy days...
I, for one, would like to formally apologize to Iran for appearing to be an American, and being mistaken as someone who gives a shit about Iran or America, or any other human bullshittery. Secondly, I would like to formally retract said apology before the end of this paragraph is read, and state the following, in its stead: "Fuck you. Stop existing."
Your mothers death is because of a disease 100% of the human population has, this disease is called sin, it is 100% fatal both physically, and without the cure spiritually too, the biggest problem though is that it's hereditary to the human race. However this cure goes by the name of Jesus Christ.
BE VERY CAREFUL IF U MAKE A WOMAN CRY, GOD COUNTS HER TEARS, THE WOMAN CAME OUT OF A MANS RIB, NOT FROM HIS FEET TO BE WALKED ON, NOT FROM HIS HEAD TO BE SUPERIOR, BUT FROM HIS SIDE TO BE EQUAL, UNDER HIS ARM TO BE PROTECTED, AND NEXT TO HIS HEART TO BE LOVED
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
Just tell your penis that you didn't play with him because you were out getting stoned. He'll understand.
|M|A|S|T|U|R|B|A|T|I|O|N|
My anti drug.
What a crock of shit. "Look in the mirror and see god." Fuck no man, if I were to look in the mirror I'd see a middle class basement with my unshaven, stoned and tired ass staring at myself with bloodshot eyes.
Martyr is just another word for "shitty fighter".
"The only downside of Nexopia is that it's loaded with sexual predators.
But on the plus side, it's also loaded with sexual prey."
Exactly. The hungry can stop being whiny douchebags, get jobs, and buy bread.
Ditto. Morality and ethics is great.
I have a jr high sized crush on a woman with no arms.
on my way to school today i caught a glimpse of a dead bird on the side of the road. It made me sooo angry. When is somebody going to stand up and get these animals the proper equipment. If that bird had a simple CSA approved helmet that fit correctly we might still hear it sing. Every day there are deer and elk are crossing highways without proper shoulder pads or any neck reinforcement whatsoever. Are we so greedy a society that we can't afford to equip our fellow organisms with the simple safety measures they need to stay alive? If that is the case, I'm not sure I want to be a part of it.
Too much of anything is a bad thing, and that includes personal freedom.
Wait a second! You can't threaten to increase the rate at which entropy is increasing, thusly increasing the impending freezing death of the universe, by impregnating a woman!
WOMEN WON'T FUCK YOU.
Apparently, in a last ditch effort to save his marriage, this guy presented his wife with a study from the New England Journal of Medicine about how men and women are different. I imagine he Googled one night, "women are from venis" and then Google asked him, "Did you mean: women are from venus". And that was the extent to which he went to save his marriage.
If we didn't restrict sex, we would still think the world was flat.
Jesus cries when you clone.
It's FACT.
The next week is going to be such a marathon of random sex that Jesus himself will be resurrected for the single act of flying through my window just to say:
"Dude, that's a lot of women you just did. True story."
Living things such as deer eat produce waist breath and take in O2 and produce CO2. The embryo doesn’t feel pain from the experiments that’s going on its a neutral cell witch can save millions of life’s.
Who says I don't "respect" people's beliefs, you silly cunt?
Firstly, I'm very disappointed to see you've returned, because you're a fucking moron.
Second, my atheist ass is praying to all the mind's hells that nine million and thirty-seven centipedes devour you and yours, tonight, with the William Tell Overture playing in the background.
"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
Nothing Terrifies New Soldiers more, after 5 days, awake, in a trench, than hearing bagpipes at dawn and seeing me come thundering out of the bush screaming sodomy.
Hence the man thong
and it makes me feel sexxxxxy
98% of nexopia is emo, if you are one of the 2% that has remained gangster as fuck copy this into your profile.
98% of teens have had sex by the age of 17, Post this on your page if you're a pokemon master.
If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.
I'm selling my bicycle and donating the money to Halliburton.
Christianity: The belief that a Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil source from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
there isn't nearly enough shut up in the world for you
So I guess the only "moral" way of getting rid of an unwanted baby is to give birth to it, claim it has WMDs, and kill it.
an agenda like living a happy healthy life free of persecution? THOSE FUCKERS MUST BE STOPPED
Most girls just want to be loved and what better way than to get unconditonal love from something they should have swallowed in the first place.
In fact I do emit Universal Life Energy into my car so that it never breaks down and is shinier
(which by the way have a IQ of 50-65, which is legally deamed retared.)
It [Noah's flood] is [true], although the bible contains a very primitive and symbolic version. Basically Noah's real name was Grandmaster Thoth and he and those of his order and lineage retreated to various places of the world in 10,500 BC. One place was Egypt where he built the Great Pyramids there
yeah im not sure about that, but if the nazis found all this amazing technology im sure life extension could be one of them. ive heard about hitler not dying before. i mean its pretty convenient we were all taught in school that he just shot himself. ya right. i wouldnt have, i would have been like "here, shoot my double, lets go to south america"
The problem with a corporation is that it has no body to kick and no soul to damn. People who manage corporarions are evil people who are completely insensible to the suffering of the poor and of animals too (think about factory farming here). They only care abut their profits even though they have more than enough money to live in luxury.
I once prayed to Jesus for a bike, but then I realized it would be quicker to just steal a bike and then ask for forgiveness.
I eat more pussy than cervical cancer.
Deny the existence of something? There's as much proof for the existence of the Judeo-Christian God as there is for pink unicorns that fly around space in a spaceship and solve intergalactic mysteries.
We were about to bear witness to a magnificent abortion of reason—and we were late. I’ve never felt more American in my life.
I'm writing a song about it now because it's such a funny concept.
Woman goes in, thinking she's going to get artificially inseminated and they shove a flame thrower up her cooter.
Hey, you can equate sex and economics quite nicely. The female orgasm is like a standard for currency. Neither exist, or matter.
Due to my fear that strangers may be raptors in disguise, I don't generally friend people unless I've had a real conversation with them.
Do I agree with the Taliban's strict adherence to translations of the Kuran? No. Do I like Sharia Law? No. Do I like the repression of women? No, aside from the not driving part, since I value my life.
If I declare myself the acting representative of rainbows, and then punch a baby and never get caught, you can't arrest the next person who says they are the acting representative of rainbows.
On second thought... who cares. Let's talk about Smurfs.
LOLZ!!!!!
