I wish life wasn't filled with so many unanswered questions; who's that person going to grow up to be? Will that person be happy? Will I be happy with what they become. This is all my mind can think about when the people I love so much, pick up there bags and leave to better pastures. I want them to be happy, but all I can do is be self centered and want them to turn around. Its wierd I've always been a lonely person, making my own way through, wiether it be almost impossible to bare or something I just brush off.

But this year I've blossomed to be someone who can't stand to be alone all the time, and I bloomed so late... school ending was chocking for me, a whole section of my life that was meant for making friends had come to a close in front of me before I could even grasp all the straws, I'm not saying that I regret the straws I carry cause those are the most amazing people I could ever ask for, hell I wouldnt be alive without them. But sometimes I wonder if there could've been more.

I never found my love, my other half, but love certainly found me many times only to be pushed away. Like the moth that circles the flame it eventually got burned, and then... extinguished. Love was a feeling I have always yearned to have, to be safe in the arms of someone else in the darkness of the night a warm feeling that not only flowed through my body, but in my heart, and that is a feeling I strive to obtain, the only skill I lack is confindence, and thats the thing that will make all the difference, and a sence of attraction to pull me in. But all can be truly bittersweet in the games of love and war.

The things I regret the most, out of all of things I've done, is not standing up to the people that hurt me the most, the bullies, the teachers and the principles that waved off my claims as if they were tall tales, I wish I could've called Mr. Reeve a wasted of parent material when he called me a waste of education funds, I wish I could've told Mr. Johnson that he was wrong, that I was more, more than just someone who would end his life to bullying that I would take all the horrible things that he and my classmates threw at me and mold a beautiful phoenix, that would soar high and set fire to the world. I wish I could've stood up for my friends when they needed me most, that I could've made those hockey kids suffer a hell, far beyond the mind of a 13 year old could imagine, I wish I could've been a helping hand when they lost there mother, instead I was just a post, and a frown, I dont have to wish for my art teacher to swallow her words. I will continue to do what I plan to do even if it is childish, just to spite her snooty self.

Regrets build our characters and build something within us that will eventually explode, in a tapestry of art for all too see, I plan to make no more second thoughts. I plan to be myself in every beautiful detail, I will never fake myself, I will never use someone else as a steping stone, I will hold out a hand and take the leap with me. I can't be the person that changes everyones ways, but I can certainly make them think twice when they say someone else is beneath them,
and of course be the person who stands up when someone does.

Tim Emery.