So hi, my name's Kristin and I'm pretty much the raddest person I've ever known! I've also been known to answer to Kris, K-Bro, Kraileen, K-Bizzle, Krissy Poo, Kris Kiss, Special K, Brat, Da Brat, KB, Brownie, Downtown, Downtown Brown, Skinny, Legs, Bean, Tiger, Deedee, Butt Slut, Tall Girl and "Hey you"

















-I have long, gorgeous brown hair with natural copper highlights
-I have warm, chestnut brown eyes with a chocolate ring around the outside
-I am very tall, and it intimidates people
-I am not skinny as a stick, but my body is wonderfully built
-I am the 4th best ninja I know. Audrey is the best, then comes my mom, then Tawnya, and finally, me
-When I am REALLY happy, I purr
-I like to impersonate voices. I can do Stitch from Lilo and Stitch, Eric Cartman, South Park Jennifer Lopez as well as Towelie from South Park, the guy in the internet cartoon who says "My spoon is too big!" and the fat jock strap guy from the movie 8 Crazy Nights
-I have three piercings in each ear, my tongue, and my right nostril
-I have three beautiful tattoos, a palm tree and setting sun on my right hip, an Alberta wild rose on my outer left ankle, and a pair of angel wings and halo on my right shoulder blade
-I wear glasses and contact lenses
-I am a very jealous person
-I am so protective of the ones I care about
-I speak fluent French, as well as quite a bit of Spanish
-I work as an office assistant at a busy car dealership
-I can either be an extremely hateful person, or the sweetest girl you'll ever meet
-It's hard for me to make new friends sometimes
-But those who do know me, think I am hilarious and often the life of the party
-I am a smoker, and I hate myself for it
-I am religious, but only sometimes
-I am a virgin, and a darn proud one!
-I do the art thang...photography, drawing, and making jewelry
-I am also into singing and songwriting
-I have a very strong immune system
-I am told I look and act way older than I really am
-I am the proud owner of a yellow 2006 Pontiac Pursuit. She's my pride and joy
-I have been in two car accidents, and am lucky because the most recent one should've killed me
-My favorite place in the world is Mexico
-I have psychic powers. I'm not even kidding you
-I have this strange ability to go into a complete state of meditation. I can clear my mind of everything and turn my vitals so low, they are barely there
-I officially won the battle against my clinical depression
-I read the newspaper every day. Shut up
-I sleep with a blankie and teddy bear, as well as a stuffed dog and stuffed frog. I have had the teddy since I was young. The dog and the frog each represent a recent lost love of mine
-I have beliefs and morals I will keep until my dying day
-My sense of humor is something special
-I am a sucker for Ferrero Rocher chocolates
-If I could, I'd watch Family Guy and South Park all day
-I am always told I have a stunning smile
-I've had trouble with bullies in the past, but they leave me alone now because I am more successful than they are
-I absolutely will not change for anyone, and I learned that the hard way
-And finally, I am my own hero and I love myself, and that's all that really matters

I find it really strange how I don't connect with anybody. I don't let myself get overly close with anyone. Sure, I LIKE my friends, I LIKE my family, I LIKE my pets and my home and my car and my life...but I can say with confidence that I don't LOVE anyone/anything.









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-How Tawnya and I decided to turn Amish so we never get screwed over by eachother
-How Audrey and I laugh hysterically whenever we see a balloon
-The fact that I outsmarted the internet. Fuck you, canada411.com. You got served
-Musicals such as RENT and THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
-Giving and receiving massages
-Going to the beach
-The little things in life, like cruising in my car with the sunroof open, coke slurpees and five-cent candies
-Furry animals that let me love them
-Hugs, being held, all that touchy-feely crap
-Curling up on the couch with tasty snacks, a funny movie and a good friend
-Dairy Queen Blizzards. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems
-MEXICO
-The feeling I get after drawing an amazing picture or writing an incredible song
-Hot cars with pimpin' paint jobs that give me cargasms
-Being tickled in just the right way
-Manicures and pedicures
-The combination of dark hair and blue eyes on a person
-Kaybro, who is my cartoon character of a cat
-Horror movies
-Sour Starburst candies
-Spring, summer, and winter. Fuck autumn
-Oh sweet pay day...you are so good
-Random cheques for large amounts of money that actually aren't all that random
-Gifts with sentimental value
-Having deep conversations about absolutely everything
-Swimming and scuba diving
-Giving advice
-Anything that smells like lilac
-Disney movies that still make me cry
-When I actually look good in a picture
-Catching up with old friends
-Perfect music with perfect lyrics. Those are hard to come by these days
-Cruising around with friends, singing Rent at the top of our lungs
-McDonald's chicken caesar sandwich...mmmmm
-Your Mom jokes that never get old
-Ocean blue eyes
-Sleeping in
-All kinds of country dancing, like two-stepping and line dancing
-I also really enjoy dancing to Latin music
-Cranberry-raspberry juice
-Laughing so hard that I collapse with tears streaming down my face
-Going to concerts
-The feeling of another person's body heat...even if it's something as simple as a hand on my shoulder
-When I am right about something
-I like coffee, and I like it sweet. I'm talking 5 sugar cubes sweet
-The fact that I have a smokin' hot body now
-Deliberately mismatching my socks
-Washing my car in my bikini. I'm serious
-How the guy at Mac's thinks I'm a psycho because I stop for a Froster every other morning
-Getting drunk and explaining the stories behind EVERY scar on my body
-Tossing the ol' pigskin down at the park with my buddies
-Driving through downtown Edmonton, Chinatown and Little Italy
-Fondling/goosing people who are playing billiards and trying to get them to mess up their shot

-DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MORMONS
-Driving on the highway in the dark
-Car accidents
-When the computer shuts down and I lose all my unsaved work
-People who think they are gangster
-Kandie Kids. There is just something about them that bothers me. Can't quite put my finger on it though
-Girls who sleep with every guy they ever meet
-When people do hard drugs
-"Let's ignore Kristin" days
-How my work treats me as the office bitch and how I am constantly doing other people's work
-Losing friends
-Being lied to and people who are chronic liars
-Racists and homophobes
-Hypocrites
-Waiting half an hour in the winter for my car to unthaw
-When my phone calls aren't returned
-Being stood up
-Razor nicks and nasty paper cuts
-When Aunt Flo visits from Redwater
-Writer's Block
-Fiending for a cigarette, but not having any
-Running out of conditioner
-When my coworkers kill my frogs/fish. That's happened three times already
-People with no manners
-When someone tells me I am not doing something right. Half the time, I am doing it right in my own way, but it's not to their liking
-Going long periods of time without releasing negative emotions. Then it will just blow up out of nowhere
-Not being able to sleep because I drank too much caffeine
-Coffee breath
-Olives
-I hate how McDonald's is my weakness
-Not having abs of steel
-Greasy hair
-When people have bad B.O.
-Ignorant customers at work. They drive me crazy
-People who are cocky and full of themselves, and think they are high and mighty
-When people learn something new about me, and decide to judge me and think less of me
-Gaining weight
-PMS and cramps
-Scars from former piercings
-How Swiss Chalet took my favorite meal off the menu because I was the only one who ordered it
-Talking during massages
-Throwing up
-How I can't even look at a Volkswagen anymore without becoming completely enraged
-Rush hour traffic
-When people steal my lighter
-When you can see all the dust floaties in the air
-Planes
-Driving in the winter
-When I get so mad that I feel like I want to assassinate someone
-Washing dirty dishes by hand
-How much I miss her...
-When life kicks my ass
-The whole bar scene. It's just stupid
-I have ZERO respect for slutty bar stars
-How pretty much everyone in the world owes me money
-How I tend to slobber all over myself when I smoke
-The fact that I can't trust anybody. I repeat, I cannot trust anybody

-How I always go out of my way to make everyone's birthdays memorable, but no one ever remembers mine
-SEEING SOMEONE I HAVE FEELINGS FOR MAKING OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE! THAT HAPPENS WAY TOO OFTEN THESE DAYS!

I die without you.