For those who don't know you tell us a bit about yourself.

I'm a drop out, I've never had a job, I've never owned a cellphone and live with my single mother and two cats named Walken and Winslet. I sleep from 7:00 AM until roughly 5:00 PM. Life is dismal and bleak. I channel my internal despair into raw hate on the internet and my drumkit, which includes three cymbals held up on a broken high-hat stand by three gatorade bottles (previously used as downy blowers still containing brown downy sheets), and flat skins held together primarily by hockey tape.

What are you currently listening to?

Burial and Four Tet's collaboration from last year. Real chill guy. Aand always Radiohead.

What is your opinion on Satan and the Satan Wagon?

I can't quite put my thumb on it. I remember watching some episode of criminal minds where some shit was going down with a murdered cheerleader or something in a small midwest town I think, and all the detectives were like "OMG IT WAS TEH LOCAL SATANISTSs!!!" so they go to this shitty black lodge out the woods where the supposed satanic perpetrators were having one of their Rammstein and red wine parties. They take the "cult leader" back for interrogation and are like flipping shit being like "TEHRES FUCKEN SATANIC IMAGERY ON THESE CORPSES EXPLAIN THIS U PUNK" and he's all coy and smart being like "satan is a hebrew word for opposer. we're like communists and stuff, we just hate all the fundamentalists in this town and wanted to rebel and scare some white folk". I think later in the episode they found out it's like some insecure quarterback who killed the cheerleader. Aside from that I don't really understand the Laveyan Satan hype, for which I know you're a primary promoter. Reminds me of like a modern adaptation of Leviticus, the whole "if an enemy has entered your domain/parent's basement, DESTROY THEM" thing. Darrian can have her fun though.

What are some fond memories that you have from growing up in Rock City?

Every major injury I've sustained, and Elks hall shows. Junior high had me with a dislocated pinky finger, green-twig fracture in my wrist, and a pencil penetrating several inches of my lower-left ass cheek. I would explain but i like to save that story for dinner parties to gross out squeamish turds. Elks hall shows were always a delight, and unfortunately there hasn't been one in well over a year, aside from a hip-hop show earlier this year that I didn't attend. I deeply believe the redemption of Jurassic Park should coincide with the redemption of the Elks hall venue.

Have you ever chilled with the-G-? If so what went down?

I met him quite a couple times at the george (no underage drinking on my part, just wings) actually, he's a pretty nice fellow, although I'm certain quite drunk every time i've seen him, so he probably vaguely remembers me at most.

Have you ever chilled with Clarke Kinaschuk? If so what went down?

Clarke and I are guypals. Last october we probably drank a 40oz to each of us five days out every week, for three weeks straight. The Kinaschuk household in general is full of awesome people, one time Clarke and i got high - one of few occasions - and went back to his place to munch out. Kyle came downstairs to accompany us. If you're aware of Kyle, you know he's edge and can be a very bizarre person to be around even when sober. I was a little overwhelmed and could hardly keep up with Kyle's speech, and Clarke just fucked with everything he could find from what i remember.

What is your opinion on the pope telling Britain to re-introduce religion into public discourse?

In a way i don't understand why religion shouldn't be allowed in public discourse, since open dialogue between groups explaining their moral views and interpretations of the sacred should always be allowed, so long as vague, ancient scripture doesn't interfere with legislation and other governance. However, I think it'd be great to see a bunch of British MPs telling the pope to "bug aff ya blimey catholic prick", and then Richard Dawkins rides his black chariot across St. Peter's square to behead every cardinal with a black iron scythe, and ultimately crucify the pope upside down with other members of the scientific inquisition.

What is some advice that you would give to other guys regarding sex?

Random hook ups will hardly help you improve yourself in the sack, commitment to one woman trains you. Always ask if something feels uncomfortable. Always stop if it hurts. Slow down if you're climaxing too fast (it also helps with erectile dysfunction, which i've had from time to time. just go easy and work on a soft position where you can stimulate your helmet well, then get back into it, she won't care). And if you're a couple that's pretty much missionary only, go deep enough that you rub her clit with the base where your pubes are, typically this helps her with an orgasm in most cases. also, in your free time, learn how to coast, it can come in extremely handy if you're into giving facials and feeding her your life force.

For you is weed more recreational or is there a spiritual element?

Weed is more of a recreational hobby and medicine than something of spiritual value. While it can certainly improve many sensual stimuli, I'd hardly say it leads to mystical experiences, aside from digesting a massive amount, which I heard can be beyond the intensity of fair-sized dosages of most hallucinogens in the tryptamine and phenethylamine compound families. Weed is pretty cool and everything, but is certainly not enlightening, and in most cases just makes you dull with excessive use.

So you're the socially/philosophy buff on Jurassic Park. What are some things that you have been contemplating recently?

I'm contemplating why I'm considered the philosophy buff of JP. Tbh though for the most part I just contemplate suicide or whether or not I should just subscribe to absurdism and suck up my shit. Beyond that though, I'm just always thinking there's only so much you can imbibe from age-old thinkers who constantly contradict and espouse one another's propositions, and that a perfect perspective will personally arise by pluralizing the compatible beliefs of those various thinkers under whatever circumstances you've been given and feel are adaptable to your character. But you've got to be able to prove or at least clearly and convincingly communicate your metaphysical concepts, and smoking weed certainly won't help with your conclusions - scientific method will however, for the most part. Stay skeptical, never draw conclusions too early, don't be surprised if someone critically kicks the shit out of your ideas, and safely assume the worst - always the things I take into consideration.