Do you want to know how I got these scars? My father was…a drinker…and a fiend. One night he goes off crazier than usual, and Mommy picks up a kitchen knife to defend herself. Well, Daddy doesn't like that.

Not. One. Bit.

So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing as he does it. And then he looks at me standing there, and says, "Why…so…serious?" And as he's walking over to me, "Why…so…serious?" And then he puts the knife in my mouth, like this, and says, "Let's put a SMILE on that face!" and......why so serious?

We all have friends. A lot gets talked about friendships. Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. After a romantic relationship, friendships are the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?

The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.

A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned. A mother is a true friend of her children. If we share such relations with an adult we can say that we are true friends.

A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. A true friend means to have someone who is like mother, as I said earlier. Instead of having hundreds of good friends, if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky. If you can also become a true friend of someone, you will be blessed, because it is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give. Be a true friend yourself first.

***Taken from the Facebook page of Jenette (last name excluded to protect privacy)***

HOW TO MAKE LOVE

Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana

Directions:
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well
creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts,
leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat
steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Notes:
1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and
after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town

Can life get ANY better?? i go down to lethbridge to look at my place, seeing as i start school in just over 2 weeks. and now that i am back home, i want to be back down south, cause i like it there. no big deal right? just have to wait a little longer?
yeah, well, not as simple as that anymore. not only am i not getting an expected contribution towards my tuition (which is going to be hard enough to come up with as it is), but now it turns out i have NO money at all. yeah, thats right. not only can i not pay my tuition, but i can't pay my first months rent even. but oh, it gets better yet.
how am i supposed to move from hinton to lethbridge? well, i WOULD say my dad would help, since he said he would. but who is conveniently NOT able to help me move because he is working? you guessed it. MY DAD!
So lets sum this up shall we? i can't afford to pay for my school tuition, i can't afford the only place i have to live, and i have no way of getting my stuff down south. oh yeah, life is kinda going to hell for me right now. im not usually one to complain, but im to the point of breaking down right now, i am so pissed off....

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-l aw jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Section 1: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
Harmony and balance are your keynotes. You instinctively understand the need to accommodate other peoples' interests and desires, and you are always fair and willing to meet the other person half way. Tactful, diplomatic, and with considerable social awareness, you do all you can to avoid conflict and discord. You express a spirit of cooperation and compromise and often achieve through charm and discretion what would have been impossible to achieve by a direct, forceful approach.

Section 2: Mental Interests and Abilities
One of your greatest assets is your ability to see both sides of an issue, and to negotiate and bring about compromise and reconciliation. Tactful, reasonable, and with considerable social finesse, you work well with people in business as well as in personal relationships. You are objective and somewhat detached from emotional bias, and make an excellent consultant, mediator, or public relations person. You insist upon fairness and seek to bring harmony or at least peaceful coexistence between people, and your diplomacy is a benefit in any business or social situation. You also have fine aesthetic sensitivities and could work in an artistic or cultural environment.

You're yellow, the colour of joy and energy -- two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting colour for a warm and inviting person -- you!

Your personality is made up of a unique pattern of traits. These traits impact the way you think, feel, and behave on an everyday basis. In your report you will read a detailed explanation of each of your core personality traits, including your strengths and challenge points.


Your Interaction Style:
You scored 85 in the area of extroversion/ introversion, which means that your energy is directed primarily outward - towards other people and things- rather than inward. You gain energy, rather than lose energy, by moving and interacting. It is essential that your work environment matches your extroversion/ introversion tendency, otherwise you won't feel happy.

Social patterns: You are right-brained when it comes to interacting with people and recognizing emotions in other people. When you look at a person's face you focus on what you see on the left. Hearing preferences are an interesting exception to this right-left crossover. For example, if two people were talking behind a closed door and you needed to put your ear on the door to hear, you would tend to use your right ear instead of your left.

TEN FIRSTS:
First Best Friend: Daniel Mantai
First Screen Name: Sherwood_dude_1988
First Pet: Dog
First Piercing: None
First Crush: Olivia
First CD: Armeggedon soundtrack
First Car: 88 Volkswagon Jetta
First Stuffed Animal: a turtle

NINE LASTS:
Last Alchoholic Beverage: vodka (was mixing with coke, till i ran out of coke..lol)
Last Car ride: Into town with my dad
Last Movie Seen: Pirates of the caribbean 2
Last Phone Call: Justin
Last Song Played: From the inside - Linkin Park
Last Bubble Bath: about a month ago
Last time you Cried: Not too long ago. Not sure when exactly when though. A week ago?

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS:
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: No
Have you ever been arrested? No
Have you ever skinny dipped: No
Have you ever been on tv: Yes
Have you ever kissed someone, and then regreted it? yeah
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? Yes
Have you ever cheated on someone? No

SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING:
1. jeans
2. black & white shirt
3. Blue hat (from Newfoundland. hehe, thanks cassidy)
4. my watch
5. grad ring
6. socks
7. underwear

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY:
1. Woke Up
2. Chatted Online
3. Listened To Music
4. Ate (A&W)
5. Phoned a friend
6. Left The House

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER:
1. Friends
2. Music
3. Photography
4. Movies
5. Travelling

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO:
1. Daniel
2. Justin
3. Adis
4. Chris

THREE CHOICES:
1.Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: HOT
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Finally meet the people I have been talking to online for ages.
2. Travel the world

ONE THING YOU REGRET:
1. My past (for those of you who i have told, you know why. for those that don't know, feel free to ask.)

1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think that I am wierd?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[33] What song reminds you of me?
[34] If I died would you cry?
[35] When was the last time we faught?
[36] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
[38] If we where going on a date where would you take me?
[39] If I told you I had three weeks to live what would you want to do before I died?
[40]Do you think I willl get married?