I'D be a WELDER lol I R WELDING
A woman, sitting on the face of a man, with a mustache. She is recieving pleasure, he is being smothered. That is a Mustache Ride.
Annabelle - "Can I have another mustache ride James?"
James - "Jesus christ, I have trouble breathing already, and my breath stinks most of the time anyway."
Check out my myspace page http://www.myspace.com/183252851
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say
"Bitchh, drink the rest of that, you know we dont waste that kinda shit"
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.
You might be too drunk if:
-You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
-Your job doesn�t interfere with your drinking.
-Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
-You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
-The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
-You sincerely believe alcohol is the elusive 5th food group.
-24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!
-Two hands and just one mouth. - Now THAT'S a drinking problem!
-You can focus better with one eye closed.
-The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
-You fall off the floor.
-Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
-5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner!
-Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
-Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
-At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is� Uh.'
-You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, and you fell asleep clothed.
-The whole bar says 'Hey mate' when you come in.
-You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.
-Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
-You don't recognize your wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
-That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
-The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
Top Ten Not To Say When You Get Pulled Over
10.... Sorry, Officer, I didnt realize my radar detector wasnt plugged in.
9.... Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
8.... Youre not gonna check the trunk are you?
7.... I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. Thats how far ahead of me they are.
6.... I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
5.... Officer says, Son, Your eyes look red, have you been drinking? You respond with, Officer, your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?
4.... Hey, you mustve been doin about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job
3.... Gee, Officer Thats terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too
2.... Arent you the guy from the Village People?
l.... I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer.