neon*illusions - 19, Female, Ontario
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The unspoken good-byes
I have been alone basically since the move here
I miss my LAR family and my friends
I miss sitting at the square in city park smoking weed
or sitting in lawrence park under the peace tree
but i enjoy the creativity that is coming from the solace
i can taste the ethanol plant everytime I go outside, witch i guess is better than the kelowna crud
Im happy because I chose to be
realizing now that unhappiness is to dispoportional to our daily lives
because we try to reject it
remembering the ones I loved and needed in my life
and everybody that actually made me feel
I realized that I was to numb in life to care about it, that I had killed the pain so bad that I eventually just blocked emotions
but some of you grabbed my hand and pinched me so hard I couldnt help but to feel
some of you woke me up
which are things people have been trying to do for me since i was a baby
attatchment?
love?
I didn't know what that was until i moved to kelowna
So although I will miss you all X 1 million cazillion bazillion
I wish to say thank you for sending me into life with a knowledge and a heart larger than I ever could have imagined
after all the heartbreak and all the love
the pain killers have worn off
... now unfortunatly i have to go through withdrawal of your warming hugs and your peaceful energys
i would give me life for all of you
because all of you brought me back to life
as for some of the DUMB CUNTS I thank you for making me realize that it some people arent worth the energy
and helping me see that I shouldnt beat myself up because your dumb cunts
YEAH! WHAT! OKAY!