SO, WHAT DO CANADIANS HAVE TO BE PROUD OF?
1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.
14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian invented Superman.
24. We have colured money.
25. Our beer advertisments kick ass
BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
26. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!
27. And we don't bomb our allies.
28. oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.
Pass this on if you are proud to be Canadian!!!


.

3 guys go into a bar. The booze begins to flow pretty heavily
in the course of the evening and the guys get split up. Next
morning they're all at work discussing what went on after they
lost one other...

The first guy says, "Man I was so trashed last night I went
home and blew chunks!"

The second goes, "Shit that's nothing I was so tanked that I
drove my damn car into a tree. Totaled it. I have no idea what
the cops are going to do!"

The third guy says, "That's nothing I was so drunk that I went
home and starting cussing my girlfriend out and in the process
knocked over a candle and it caught the whole damn apartment on
fire - the insurance won't cover it, plus my girlfriend left
me."

The first guy leans back in and whispers, "I don't think you
guys understand, Chunks is my dog."

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