nitroholic - 26, Male, Edmonton
nitroholic's Blog1 Hits
Show: 
 
[-]
updated DVD list.
if you are interested on trading, msg me at nitroholic_2002@hotmail.co
m , I will get back to you.

WWE Events
Judgement day 2004
Summerslam 2002
Summerslam 2003
Summerslam 2004
Summerslam 2005
No Way Out 2005
Unforgivin 2005
King Of the Ring 2002
The best of Intercontinental Championship
Wrestlemania 2000
Wrestlemania X8 (2)
Wrestlemania XIX (2)
Wrestlemania 21(3)
Wrestlemania 22(3)
Unforgivin 2001
Surivivor series 2001(2)
Surivivor Series 2004
Surivivor Series 2005
Taboo Tuesday 2004
Taboo Tuesday 2005
Bloodbath Wrestlings Most Violent Steel Cage matches. (2)
The Great American Bash 2004
Royal Rumble 2003
Wrestlemania 22(2)
WWE HOF 2004
The History of The WWE Championship (3)
Bad Blood 2004
Royal Rumble 1988
Royal Rumble 1989
Royal Rumble 1990
Royal Rumble 1991
Royal Rumble 1992
Royal Rumble 1993
Royal Rumble 1994
Royal Rumble 1995
Royal Rumble 1996
Royal Rumble 1997
Royal Rumble 1998
Royal Rumble 1999
Royal Rumble 2000
Royal Rumble 2001
Royal Rumble 2002
Royal Rumble 2003
Royal Rumble 2004
Royal Rumble 2005
Royal Rumble 2006
Royal Rumble 2007
Wrestlemania 23 (3)



WWE Personality Profiles
Trish Stratus 100% Stratusfaction Guranteed
Cheating Death Stealing Life (The Eddie Guerrero Story) (2)
Hard Knocks (The Chris Benoit Story)(2)
Andre The Giant - Larger Than Life
Jake The Snake Roberts "Pick Your Poison" (2)
The Self destruction of The Ultimate Warrior
Tombstone The History of the Undertaker (3)
The Greastest Wrestling Stars of the 80's (3)
Mick Foley - Greatest Hits & Misses (2)
The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection (2)
Road Warriors - The Life and Death of the greatest tag team ever (2)
Rob Van Dam - One Of A kind (2)
Wrestlings greatest Managers
20 Years too soon- The Superstar Billy Grahum Story.
The American Dream "The Dusty Rhodes Story" (3)
Mcmahon! (2)
Brian Pillman Loose Cannon (2)
Born To Controversy - the Rowdy Roddy Piper Story(3)
The Spectacular Legacy of the AWA (2)
Ric Flair & the Four Horsemen (2)
The New And Improved DX (3)


Shoot interviews and Misc stuff
Ricky Morton Shoot Interview
Forever Hardcore The Documentary (2)
Beyond The Mat
Wrestling ViXXXens
The Best Of The Backyard Babes
Hardy Boys from the backyard to the big time.
NWWL vol 1 - Vegas Stripped
Kellen's Indy Pak vol.1
Matt Hardy "Beyond The Controversies"
Jeff Hardy " Unwrapping the Enigma"
Ultimate Insiders vol .1
Tammy Lynn Sytch Shoot Interview
Eddie Gurrerro Shoot Interview
Harley Race Q & A
The best of Ebbessan
CM Punk Shoot Interview (2)
Bad News Allen Shoot Interview (2)
Rowdy Roddy Piper Shoot Interview (2)
Team 3D Shoot Interview (2)
Marty Jannetty Shoot Interview (2)
Sabu Shoot Interview
Bam Bam Bigelow Shoot Interview
On The Road w/ Raven
Face Off Raven Vs. The Honky Tonk Man
Hitman Hart/ Wrestling With Shadows
The Sandman Shoot Interview 2004
Ladder Match Compliation
Chris Hero-Vol.2-Collectors Edition




ECW
The Rise and Fall Of ECW (2)
ECW Deep Impact
ECW One Night Stand
ECW Hardcore Homecoming (Phili) (2)
ECW Bloodsport
The Best Of Extreme Fan Cam Vol.1
Extreme Fan Cam (final Two ECW house Shows)
Extreme Women Of ECW
ECW Hardcore Homecoming November Reign
ECW One Night Stand 2006
ECW Barley Legal 1997
ECW Hardcore History
ECW Extreme Rules (2)
ECW When Worlds Collide
ECW Gangsta's Paradise
ECW Presents The Wildest Matches
ECW Hardcore TV - 4/29/95 - 5/20/95
ECW Fan Cam 8/4/95


WCW
NWA/WCW Halloween Havoc 1989 (2)
NWA/WCW Great American Bash 1989(2)
WCW Starrcade 1990(2)
WCW Halloween Havoc 1992(2)
WCW World War 3 1996
WCW Starrcade 1992 Battlebowl(2)
WCW Superbrawl II(2)
WCW Halloween Havoc 1990(2)
NWA/WCW COTC 6
NWA/WCW COTC 19
WCW Thunder 1/23/98-1/30/98
WCW Thunder 3/5/98-3/15/98
WCW Thunder 4/24/98 & 5/14/98
WCW Thunder 6/18/98-6/24/98
WCW Thunder 9/10/98-9/17/98
WCW Thunder 1/21/99-1/28/99
WCW Thunder 6/17/99-6/24/99
WCW Thunder 9/9/99- 9/16/99
WCW Thunder 12/9/99-12/16/99
WCW Thunder 12/23/99
WCW Thunder 3/18/99-3/25/99
WCW Thunder 1/17/01-1/24/01
WCW Thunder 1/3/01-1/10/01
WCW Nitro - Oct 1995
WCW Nitro - Nov.1995
WCW Nitro - Dec.1995
WCW Nitro - 1/6/97-1/13/97
WCW Nitro - 1/20/97-1/27/97

ROH
ROH Frontiers Of Honor
ROH Night Of Appreciation
ROH Road To The Title
ROH Era Of honor Begins
ROH Joe Vs. Punk 2
ROH Weekend Of Thunder Night.1
ROH Vendetta
ROH Generation Next
ROH Hell Freezes Over
Best of Claudio Castignoli in Europe (3 Discs)
ROH Dragon Gate Invasion
ROH Death before Dishonor 1
ROH The Future Is Now
ROH Joe vs. Kobashi
ROH 2nd year Anniversary Show
ROH Best Of Jack Evans - Defying Gravity
ROH Best of Paul London - Please Don't Die
ROH Stalemate
ROH Final Showdown
ROH Ring Of Homicide
ROH Final Battle 2004
ROH In Your Face
ROH Glory By Honor I
Colt Cabana - Europien Vacation Vol.2.
ROH Gutcheck
ROH Throwdown
ROH Generation Now
ROH Unified

FIP
The Usual Suspects
The Best of CM Punk in FIP

XPW
Baptised In Blood Vol.3
After The Fall (2)

BCW
A Stiener Thanksgiving

PWG
All Nude Revue
Free Admission (Just Kidding)
Guitarmageddon
2nd annual Bi-Centennial Birthday Celebration Night 1
2nd annual Bi-Centennial Birthday Celebration Night 2
All Star Weekend Night 1
All Star Weekend Night 2
From Parts Well Known
Ernest P Worrell Memorial
Fear Of a Black Planet


TNA
The Best of the Bloodiest brawls Vol.1
Victory Road 2004 (2)
Final Resolution 2005 (4)
Against All Odds 2005 (2)
Bound for Glory 2005 (2)
Genesis 2005 (2)
Turning Point 2005
Lockdown 2005 (2)
Against All Odds 2006
Final Resolution 2006
No Surrender 2005
Hard Justice 2005
Slammaversary 2005
Lockdown 2006
TNA Campus Invasion House Show
TNA Knockouts Vol. 1
Bound For Glory 2006

TNA Personality Proflies
Phenominal The best of AJ styles (2)
Enigma the Best of Jeff Hardy (2)
Nevermore The Best Of Raven (2)
Heaven sent Hell Bound The Best Of Christopher daniels
Unstoppable the Best Of Samoa Joe
Sting Return Of An Icon

NWA Florida
The best of Classic Championship Wrestling Vol. 1
Tradition is about to change


UPW

Future Shock Vol.2
Overload


NJPW

G-1 Climax Night 1

WEW
WEW 5/05/03

ECCW
Best of 2005 (2)

HUSTLE
Hustle Aid 2006 (2)

3PW
Broadcast From Hell
Insane & Ready For Pain!

AWF
Warriors Of Wrestling Season 1(4 discs)

CHiKARA

Anniversario Orange 2005
The 2006 TWGP (6 discs)
The Grape American Bash(2)
Remain In The Light
Return Of the International Invasion Of International Invaders 2nd Stage
Sand In The Vaseline
The Cibernetico Returnith (2)
Little Creatures

NOAH
Destiny 2005 (3)
The Best of Low Ki in NOAH

MPW
MPW Madness

CZW
The Best Of Chris Hero
The Best Of The Best Vol.1
The Best Of the Best Vol.2.
The Best Of Death Match Wrestling - American Ultraviolence Vol.2
The Best Of Kevin Steen

WCCW
Heros Of World Class

JCW
Vol.1

Womans Extreme Wrestling
Vol.5-8 (4 discs)

Dragon Gate
Dragon Gate PPV - 4/23/06
Dragon Gate TV - 7/22/06
Dragon Gate "The Gate of Legend"- 12/16/04

PWA
Fright Night 2006

IWS
Un F'n Sanctioned Vol.2


Oh and BTW, i have still a shit load of stuff on VHS, if you are looking for a particular tape, let me know.
 

[-]
TONIGHT!!!
Hello All!!

Everything is in readiness for tonights awesome edition of Nitroholic's Anonymous, My guest will be the current MPW Jr. heavyweight Champion HeavyMetal, we will talk all things wrestling.

some links for some insider info.

http://www.myspace.com/_heavymetal

HeavyMetal's Myspace page. Drop Him a Line!!

http://www.monsterprowrestling.com

MPW home page,Where you can read about upcoming events and cards.

http://www.nr92.com

Your stupid if you don't click this link



also stay tuned for more info on the amazing nr92 football toss. Friday Apr.13th live at the North Lobby @ NAIT.

l8ter

8-9 tonight!

-Kellen-
 

[-]
WED NIGHT---Metal Meets Nitro
WED NIGHT

MPW Jr. Heavyweight Champion...

-Heavy Metal-

LIVE in the Nitroholic"s Studio.

request line is 471-8833 for questions and to talk at him.

This wed night

www.nr92.com!
 

[-]
SAD NEWS..
SAD NEWS... TONIGHTS SHOW CANCELLED...

So my show has been cancelled this week due to circumstances beyond my control.

SO I WILL MAKE MY ANNOUNCEMENT RIGHT NOW

Tune in next week for an NITROHOLIC"S ANONYMOUS exclusive.

THE MPW JR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HEAVY METAL WILL BE IN STUDIO LIVE!!

get your questions ready for him, and Nitro meets metal next week.


ok, we talk at you all l8ter.

-Kellen-
 

[-]
Hey NITROHOLIC"S!!!

No meatwads words or Nitroholic's Anonymous Mash-up's last week, so I will double your pleasure and put em on the glass for this week., thats right, double the meatwad and double the mash ups!

we are also launching today our nr92 Football Toss for the ultimate guys & girls prizes tonight, be sure to listen to find out more

also, stay tuned tonight to a special guest announcement for wed March 28th!


8-9

or 9:30 well see how it is going.

www.nr92.com

-Kellen-
 

[-]
TONIGHT LIVE!!!
 

[-]
WHATS THIS?


whats this? Have I been taken over? or is this a swerve?

tune in wed night to find out.
 

[-]
SHow previwe for show
Show preview for Show .2!!!


Sup party peoples!!

We have a huge show planned this week on the anonymous!

First off, I will have exclusive results and news from the PWA & MPW cards over the weekend, find out who retained and who's title changed hands this weekend (its a shocker..)

I was also supposed to do my first inteview this week, but that has been pushed back.

Graham Mcmorrow of http://www.cityoffilms.com/, he is a film producer, and a huge wrestling fan.

Ryan Hienrichs of http://www.ryanheinrichs.com/, graphic web designer extrodanaire.


we will have these men in soon.

also, Meatwads words of wisdom (I promise he will shut up when he is done this time..) and your requests too

The Nitroholic's Anonymous Request line - 471-8833

-Kellen-
 

[-]
Hey folks

Nitroholic's anonymous, a new radio extravagnza featuring me, Kellen Nitro, debut's tommrow night on nr92.com

I wanna just thank Keir from catching fries with those three guys for showin me the ropes and getting me prepped for tommorow.

As for tommrow, It's again 8-9 at the link below, click on it to check out the show bio and to stream any of the shows live.!


the request line at the Anonymous is 471-8833.

www.nr92.com

ttyl. folks!

-Kellen-
 

[-]
Wrestling DVD lists
Note: these Lists are for people that are interested in DVD trading only. Private msg myself or big al for info.

WWE Events
Judgement day 2004
Summerslam 2002
Summerslam 2003
Summerslam 2004
Summerslam 2005
No Way Out 2005
Unforgivin 2005
King Of the Ring 2002
The best of Intercontinental Championship
Wrestlemania 2000
Wrestlemania X8 (2)
Wrestlemania XIX (2)
Wrestlemania 21(2)
Unforgivin 2001
Surivivor series 2001(2)
Surivivor Series 2004
Surivivor Series 2005
Taboo Tuesday 2004
Taboo Tuesday 2005
Bloodbath Wrestlings Most Violent Steel Cage matches. (2)
The Great American Bash 2004
Royal Rumble 2003
Wrestlemania 22(2)
WWE HOF 2004
The History of The WWE Championship (3)
Bad Blood 2004
WWE Survivor Series 2006

WWE Personality Profiles
Trish Stratus 100% Stratusfaction Guranteed
Cheating Death Stealing Life (The Eddie Guerrero Story) (2)
Hard Knocks (The Chris Benoit Story)(2)
Andre The Giant - Larger Than Life
Jake The Snake Roberts "Pick Your Poison" (2)
The Self destruction of The Ultimate Warrior
Tombstone The History of the Undertaker (3)
The Greastest Wrestling Stars of the 80's (3)
Mick Foley - Greatest Hits & Misses (2)
The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection (2)
Road Warriors - The Life and Death of the greatest tag team ever (2)
Rob Van Dam - One Of A kind (2)
Wrestlings greatest Managers
20 Years too soon- The Superstar Billy Grahum Story.
The American Dream "The Dusty Rhodes Story" (3)
Mcmahon! (2)
Brian Pillman Loose Cannon (2)
Born To Controversy - the Rowdy Roddy Piper Story(3)
The Spectacular Legacy of the AWA (2)


Shoot interviews and Misc stuff
Ricky Morton Shoot Interview
Forever Hardcore The Documentary (2)
101 reasons NOT to be a pro wrestler.
Beyond The Mat
Wrestling ViXXXens
The Best Of The Backyard Babes
Hardy Boys from the backyard to the big time.
NWWL vol 1 - Vegas Stripped
Kellen's Indy Pak vol.1
Matt Hardy "Beyond The Controversies"
Jeff Hardy " Unwrapping the Enigma"
Ultimate Insiders vol .1
Tammy Lynn Sytch Shoot Interview
Eddie Gurrerro Shoot Interview
Harley Race Q & A
The best of Ebbessan
CM Punk Shoot Interview


ECW
The Rise and Fall Of ECW (2)
ECW Deep Impact
ECW One Night Stand
ECW Hardcore Homecoming (Phili) (2)
ECW Bloodsport
The Best Of Extreme Fan Cam Vol.1
Extreme Fan Cam (final Two ECW house Shows)
Extreme Women Of ECW
ECW Hardcore Homecoming November Reign
ECW One Night Stand 2006
ECW Barley Legal 1997


WCW All WCW DVD"S are 2 discs.
NWA/WCW Halloween Havoc 1989
NWA/WCW Great American Bash 1989
WCW Starrcade 1990
WCW Halloween Havoc 1992
WCW World War 3 1996
WCW Starrcade 1992 Battlebowl
WCW Superbrawl II
WCW Halloween Havoc 1990
WCW Starrcade 1989

ROH
ROH Frontiers Of Honor
ROH Night Of Appreciation
ROH Road To The Title
ROH Era Of honor Begins
ROH Joe Vs. Punk 2
ROH Weekend Of Thunder Night.1
ROH Vendetta
ROH Generation Next
ROH Hell Freezes Over
Best of Claudio Castignoli in Europe (3 Discs)
ROH Dragon Gate Invasion
ROH Death before Dishonor 1
ROH The Future Is Now
ROH Joe vs. Kobashi
ROH 2nd year Anniversary Show
ROH Best Of Jack Evans - Defying Gravity
ROH Best of Paul London - Please Don't Die
ROH Stalemate
ROH Final Showdown
ROH Ring Of Homicide
ROH Final Battle 2004
ROH In Your Face
ROH Glory By Honor I
Colt Cabana - Europien Vacation Vol.2.
ROH Gutcheck
ROH Throwdown
ROH Generation Now
ROH Unified

FIP
The Usual Suspects

XPW
Baptised In Blood Vol.3
After The Fall (2)

BCW
A Stiener Thanksgiving

PWG
All Nude Revue
Free Admission (Just Kidding)
Guitarmageddon
2nd annual Bi-Centennial Birthday Celebration Night 1
2nd annual Bi-Centennial Birthday Celebration Night 2
All Star Weekend Night 1
All Star Weekend Night 2


TNA
The Best of the Bloodiest brawls Vol.1
Victory Road 2004 (2)
Final Resolution 2005 (4)
Against All Odds 2005 (2)
Bound for Glory 2005 (2)
Genesis 2005 (2)
Turning Point 2005
Lockdown 2005 (2)
Against All Odds 2006
Final Resolution 2006
No Surrender 2005
Hard Justice 2005
Slammaversary 2005
Lockdown 2006
TNA Campus Invasion House Show
TNA Knockouts Vol. 1

TNA Personality Proflies
Phenominal The best of AJ styles (2)
Enigma the Best of Jeff Hardy (2)
Nevermore The Best Of Raven (2)
Heaven sent Hell Bound The Best Of Christopher daniels
Unstoppable the Best Of Samoa Joe
Sting Return Of An Icon

NWA Florida
The best of Classic Championship Wrestling Vol. 1
Tradition is about to change

UPW
Future Shock Vol.2
Overload

NJPW
G-1 Climax Night 1

WEW
WEW 5/05/03

ECCW
Best of 2005 (2)

HUSTLE
Hustle Aid 2006 (2)

3PW
Broadcast From Hell
Insane & Ready For Pain!

AWF
Warriors Of Wrestling Season 1(4 discs)

CHiKARA
Anniversario Orange 2005
The 2006 TWGP (6 discs)
The Grape American Bash(2)
Remain In The Light
Return Of the International Invasion Of International Invaders 2nd Stage
Sand In The Vaseline
The Cibernetico Returnith (2)
Little Creatures(2)

NOAH
Destiny 2005 (3)
The Best of Low Ki in NOAH

MPW
MPW Madness

CZW
The Best Of Chris Hero
The Best Of The Best Vol.1
The Best Of the Best Vol.2.
The Best Of Death Match Wrestling - American Ultraviolence Vol.2
The Best Of Kevin Steen

WCCW
Heros Of World Class

JCW
Vol.1

Womans Extreme Wrestling
Vol.5-8 (4 discs)

Dragon Gate
Dragon Gate PPV - 4/23/06
Dragon Gate TV - 7/22/06
Dragon Gate "The Gate of Legend"- 12/16/04


Oh and BTW, i have still a shit load of stuff on VHS, if you are looking for a particular tape, let me know.
 

[-]
stolen from stryker
In 2006 I:

stayed single the whole year
got your first REAL kiss
kissed someone new
made-out for the first time
made-out in/on a car
kissed in the snow
kissed in the rain
fell in love/been in love.
had your heart broken
broke someone else's heart
had a stalker
had a good relationship with someone (friend or bf/gf)
questioned your sexual orientation
came out of the closet
gotten married
had a divorce
had a gay marriage
kissed someone of the same sex
dated someone you'll never forget
done something you've regretted
lost someone you truely love
lost faith in love
kissed under mistletoe

WORK/SCHOOL

got a job
got a promotion
got a pay raise
changed jobs
lost your job
quit your job
dated a co-worker
dated your boss
dated your boss' daughter/son
got fired from your job
got straight A's
met one teacher you really like
met one teacher you really hated
found the subject you love
failed a class
cut class
skipped school
got into a fight with a classmate
did something you were proud of
discovered a new talent
gave the teachers a reason to teach
proved yourself an idiot
embaressed yourself in front of the class
fell in love with a teacher
got a lead in the school play
made a varsity team
were involved in something you'll never forget
got sent to the office

OTHER

painted a picture
wrote a poem
ran a mile
listened to music you couldn't stand
double-dipped
skinny-dipped
went to a sleepover
went to camp
threw a surprise party
laughed until you cried
flirted shamelessly
visited a foreign country
visited a different province
cooked a disasterous meal
lost something important to you
got a gift you adore
realized something new about yourself
tried to gain weight
dyed your hair
came close to losing your life
someone close to you died
went to a party
drank alcohol
drank alcohol underage
did drug(s)
got drunk
got arrested
read a great book
saw a great movie
saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
saw a band/artist live
saw someone famous in person
did something you want to tell everyone
 

[-]

Congrats Claudio Castagnoli on a great Indy wrestling career, and good luck in the WWE!!
 

[-]
Oilers Chuck Norris facts.....
and, this is with last years line up, not this years.

The city of Edmonton once named a street after Marc-Andre Bergeron in
gratitude for his phenomenal play in the Playoffs. Unfortunately, they had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Marc-Andre Bergeron and lives.

Matt Greene does not pull out. The girl must know when to push away or else it's her problem.

Every time you masturbate, Sergei Samsonov scores a goal. Not because you masturbated, but because that is how often he scores goals.

If Ty Conklin was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Miikka Kipursoff, and he had a gun with only 2 bullets, he'd shoot Kipur twice.

Dwayne Roloson’s calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Roli.

If everyone on "24" followed Todd Harvey's instructions, it would be called "12".

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jarret Stoll killed Sutherland. Jarret Stoll gets played by no man.

Georges Laraque wasn't born, he was unleashed.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jason Smith spared your life.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Craig MacTavish says it’s beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Raffi Torres played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Ethan Moreau once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Rem doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Murray's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."

Radek Dvorak could strangle you with a cordless phone.

It's no use crying over spilt milk, unless that was Steve Staios’ milk. Oh you are so screwed.

Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Michael Peca still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.

Never use the phrase, "I feel half dead," around Chris Pronger; he never leaves a job unfinished.

Killing Steve Staios doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If Rosa Parks was in Ales Hemsky's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

On a high school math test, Jason Smith put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Chris Pronger way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

When Google can't find something, it asks Dwayne Roloson for help.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Todd Harvey laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Simon Says should be renamed to Raffi Says because if Raffi Torres says something then you better fucking do it.

In 11 playoff games, Chris Pronger is +7, has 12 points and 19 hits. What the fuck have you done with your life?

Shawn Horcoff has 13 points in just 11 playoff games of work.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Edmonton Oilers".

Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jason Smith. He passed. It was too violent.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Ryan Smyth jumps out.

Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Kevin Lowe during sex; because they are doing the same thing.

One bank did a commercial with Brad Winchester in front of a vault. They haven't been robbed since.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Michael Peca, you're fucking dead."

If Fernando Pisani was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Jarome Ignila, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Stalin and Hitler so they wouldn't have to bear witness to what he'd do to Iginla.

There are no such things as lesbians; just women who have never met Ales Hemsky.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Ethan Moreau less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

Jaroslav Spacek can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Radek Dvorak.

People with amnesia still remember Raffi Torres and his hit which caused the amnesia to begin with.

When Jarret Stoll was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

During the commercials, Jaroslav Spacek calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.

Todd Harvey once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the MacTavish signal.

Steve Staios once called the Vice President "Mr. President", but realized his mistake and shot the President. Steve Staios is never wrong.

All NHL’ers are created equal. They are all vastly inferior to the Edmonton Oilers.

Guns don’t kill people, a Marc-Andre Bergeron slapshot kills people.

If Rem Murray misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.

Michael Peca once double marked Jonathan Cheechoo… by himself.

Ryan Smyth literally died for his Oilers, and lived to tell about it.

Dwayne Roloson makes onions cry.

Jehovah's Witnesses once tried to convert Chris Pronger. After four minutes of interrogation, they admitted Chris Pronger was God.

Shawn Horcoff is the 'I' in team.

When Brad Winchester pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Your attraction to Ryan Smyth in no way affects your sexual orientation.

G.I. Joe has Raffi Torres action figures.

Jason Smith has been to Mars. That’s why there’s no life on Mars.

Ryan Smyth counted to infinity - twice.

Raffi Torres is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right hands.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Jason Smith allows to live.

Georges Laraque does not go hunting. Hunting implies the probability of failure. Georges goes killing.

When Ryan Smyth was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" He received an "A+" for writing only the words "Ryan Smyth" and promptly turning in the paper.

Jarret Stoll never gets brain freeze. Ice cream knows when to back the hell off.

Webster's has approved the definition of "Endangered" to: "To be on the ice as an Oiler's opponent" because Chris Pronger told them that's how it's going to be.

Ryan Smyth can divide by zero.

Ales Hemsky has only one hand: the upper hand.

Raffi Torres frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chris Pronger doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Jason Smith once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just The Islands.

Fernando Pisani owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Portraits close their eyes when Ryan Smyth looks at them.

Georges Laraque scared the black out of Michael Jackson.

The Neverending Story ended because Fernando Pisani told it to.

Video didn't kill the radio star, Matt Greene did.

When attacking Afghanistan, the US Government never actually used laser-guided missles. It was just Raffi Torres and a lazer pointer
 

[-]
100 things

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
the scare on my left arm, i got it while taking bread out of an oven at work, we wore short sleeve white for lack of a better term, t shirts, and my bare arm got hung up on a hot bread pan, i grilled it good.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
FAR TOO MANY, hot wheels cars.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
a block of gray, i could kill someone with it.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Classic rock, Metal, Industrial, and weird indie rock.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
1130 am, just in time for lunch.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
a spot in the RTA class.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Summers at Spokane Raceway Park, one day i shall return.

9.DO YOU PREFER HOT DOGS OR HAMBURGERS?
ooo, umm both, they are both equal in my books

10.WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
KMFDM Hau Ruck.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Naa, i get hurt in the dark though.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
can't remember that.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
im a stetson man.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
i have a thing for red heads, either dye job or real. eyes, don't matter.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
energy drinks, im like fucking X pac, alwyas have hansons.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pineapple. FTW!

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Lasagna FTW!

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
stupid global mod, but just think that its funny.

20. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
Ukraniun, but really shitty.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU:
my grandpa gave me a teddy bear, and i still have it, he needs to be dusted though.

22. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
mebbe?? do you?

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
naa, im hardly single jointed.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING STORE?
wow, umm, hot Topic, and belive it or not, Army & Navy.

25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
1970 Plymouth Superbird.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS TAKEN?
been their, done that, got a brick to remind me too. (long story)

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
you, kick so much ass, if you kicked all the ass in the world, that would still not be as much ass that you can kick.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED
59

31. Blondes OR brunettes:
both, like curt said, im not picky.

32. WHO IS THE PERSON YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
Adam, when he is not out of town, or Blake. but yea, i keep in contact on TEH INTERNETS.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
people with ego's, I WILL MAKE YOU HUMBEL!!

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF CANADA?
yup, quite frequently too.

35. YOUR WEAKNESS ?
boobs... DAMNIT!

37. FIRST JOB?
northlands park, groundskeeper for kdays, fun stuff, ah well in worked telus stage, and got all my shit autogaphed so.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
all the time, not much now, but still do it.

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
IN Bio Class, and then sleeping???

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
liposuction...srsly.


41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
cause curt did it.....

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
how real i am, im like chris benoit!!

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF MARJIUANA BECAME LEGAL?
/fixed, umm probably try some, and then not care anymore.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
xmas is coming first, maybe money.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
0 or maybe..naaa 0. little fuckers.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Kellen Windslow, famous footbal player in the states, my dad is a huge football mark.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
meh, when im drunk.

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
right Index, for obivous reasons

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
cant remember.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
yea, only i can decifer it, and thats how you meet girls at NAIT.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
roast beef slices..yum!

52. WHAT IS YOUR WORST HABIT?
procrastination, it sucks.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
the Soul Food Soundtrack, fuck i gotta get rid of it.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF?
indeed.

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
yup, then i was like, .....fuck.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
indeed, and no, im not shallow.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
TEH INTERNETS!


58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
wherever i meet people.

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
meh, not as much anymore.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
My wrestlers and hot wheels cars, i still have a lot of the original track.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE ON YOUR CELL PHONE?
5, thats it.

62. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
NO, who uses sarcasm???? ( stupid fucker..)

63. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
yes, BOOO!

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
got caught up in a children of Bodom circle of death, and yea, got scarred for life in that.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GIRL/GUY?
in a guirl, personality and big boobs.

66. WHATS YOUR NICKNAMES?
nitro, Kel, Kellen, Nitroholic.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Nope. Slip the fuckers right off. /agreed.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
chochlate fudge

73. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BAND?
Linkin Park

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
They are gone, went when i was 16.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE?
meh, dont bother me either way.


76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Nothingface/ Murder is Masturbation - tnx curt great song.

77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
cherrios.

79. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
eyes, eyes are so sexy, then i look at the boobs.

80. FAVORITE SONG?
Los- Rammstien

81. FAVORITE THING TO DO?
watch wrestling or drag racing

82. FAVORITE DRINk ?
root beer

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:
Libra (meee)

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
drag racing or wrestling.

85.WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
brown, with blond streaks.

86. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?
brown

87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
yup, got a lazy eye too.

88. SIBLINGS?
just a sister.

89. FAVORITE MONTH?
september, new beginning.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
nope

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
dusty Rhoads dvd, if you willlll!

92. Favorite Day of the Year?
Septmeber 29th, my birthday.


93. Are you to shy to ask someone out?
Indeed, although it is getting better.

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer, winter sucks, no drag racing

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
I like hugs. hugs are cool.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
depends with who.

97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
vitt, he is a mark for these.


98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Adam, cause he is nex less.

99. BIGGEST FEAR?
Death....yea thats it.

100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
yea, i don't think so, but you never know, are you?
 

[-]
stole this from the ROH msg board, check it out.

Punk Meets World (Episode 2): Ace In The Hole

(Show starts with Steve Corino going over his match with his opponent for the night Homicide. Trent Acid and Teddy Hart have just entered the building and go up to Corino)

Acid: Stevie, my man! Where's Punk?

Corino: You guys are a freakin hour late! I wouldn't worry about Punk. The Briscoes have been worried sick, they're over near the water fountain. I suggest you straighten everything out with them.

Hart: Stevie baby relax. Me and Trent took a wrong turn on 95, no big deal baby. I got all the spots figured out. We're gonna put on a 5 star classic, I guarantee it.

Corino: Yeah, well me and Homocide got to go over our match so if you'll excuse us…

(Acid and Hart start walking)

Acid: Man it's not like Punk to not be here. He's supposed to work with Joe tonight so I'm a little worried about him. He wouldn't no show a match like this man.

Hart: Well we all know that fat freakin Samoan's probably at an IHOP. There's never been a time I've seen him when there isn't food in his mouth blood, know what I'm sayin?

Acid: True, but you know you would never have the balls to say that crap to Joe's face? Unless you really are suicidal…

Hart: Man if that Rikishi wannabe tries to grab me I'll just run around in circles til his fat ass gets tired, then go Mike Tyson on him!

Acid (laughing in amusement): Yeah right! Look homie, I gotta hit the bathroom. Colt 45's I drank wit Jack are freakin killing my bladder. If you see Punk, holla at me alright?

Hart: What about the Briscoes man?

Acid: Man, what the freak? You said we were covered to Corino! Freak it, I'll holla at em when I'm done draining my dragon.

(Acid's in the men's room, taking a huge piss in a urinal when he hears noises in the stall. It sounds like Mr. Feinstein is moaning in ecstasy. But the bathroom stall is closed so Acid can't see what's happening but he can hear for sure.)

Mr. Feinstein ? (screaming and giggling in joy): Ohh yeah! That's why they call you the X-Man isn't it? Who's your sugar daddy huh? Yeah! I'm gonna shoot on you now for being a such a tease. And I don't mean a shoot interview either!

(Acid starts feeling disgusted and accidentally wets his jeans in the process. He storms out of the bathroom. Walking nervously, he accidentally bumps into Johnny Ace.)

Ace: Whoa kid, watch where you're….(noticing Acid's pants)….what the hell happened to you here? Water gun fight?

Acid (nervously): I'm…I'm so sorry about that Mr…..

Ace (extending his hand out to Acid): Ace! Johnny Ace. Your pleasure to meet me!

Acid (smiling and accepting the handshake): Indeed it is Mr. Ace. Indeed it is an honor. Whatcha doing here if I may ask?

Ace: Well I was talking with Jim Ross and Stephanie McMahon, and they asked me to come down here to take a look at some prospects. A Samoan Joe and DM Punk if I'm not mistaken. But looking at you I just got an idea. What's your name?

Acid (anxious looking): Trent. Trent Acid.

Ace: Trent Acid huh? Hmmmmmm.

(Ace is thinking in silence for 5 seconds)

Ace: We gotta get rid of your last name Trent.

Trent (understanding): Okay.

Ace: Tell me do you have accidents in your pants often?

Acid: Ohh Mr. Ace! You see homie I was in the bathroom and….

Ace: No need to get defensive Trent. Some people just can't help it. Can you have accidents anytime you want? Like if you were at a party and wanted to be crazy and piss your pants could you do it on request?

Acid: Ummm…

Ace: Because I can see it now! There's a college QB out there named Leak right? You're gonna be Trent Leak! No even better. Trent Leaker!

Acid (worried): Mr. Ace…

Ace: Wait forget Leaker I got it. You will be known as Trent Urine! Yes! Trent Urine, what caused you to have your accident just now?

Acid: Well I could have sworn I heard a guy in the stall getting a hummer from another guy Mr. Ace. That's the only reason I…

Ace: That's it! Your homophobic! It's coming. It's coming. I got it. You'll debut on Smackdown….

(Trent starts to smile)

Ace: You'll be trying to get a peak into the divas locker room…

(Trent is getting excited)

Ace: You see a hand give you the "come and get it sign" from the crack of the door….

(Trent is even getting wood)

Ace: You open the door and Vito flashes you!!!

(Trent sees his dreams flushed down the toilet)

Ace: Vito will show you his panties, you'll get scared and wet your pants!!! Vito will think you're a premature ejaculator, think it's cute and convince you he can help you with the problem as you run away screaming in fear with your soaked pants for all the world to see! You and Vito will have a few matches, which you put him over in all of them of course. But one thing that will never change about Trent Urine. He'll always end up pissing his pants after his matches. He'll get on the mic and deny he has a problem, and yes you'll get pissed which will lead the fans to laugh and chant "He's pissed! He's pissed!". Well buddy whatcha think?

(Acid sluggishly walks away with his head down.)

Ace: Hey you would even get to tag with Eugene! Doesn't that sound great kid??

(Acid slams his head against a locker and runs out of the building crying.)

Ace: The kid's flattered I see. Well he should be talking to the Ace Man isn't that right honey?

(Ace spots April Hunter and gives her a wink)

Hunter: Pleaseeee!

(Hunter walks away in disgust)

Ace: Hey don't give me an attitude sweet cheeks! You don't think Alexis Laree is where she's at now because she can wrestle do you?

(A furious Hunter walks up to Corino)

Hunter: What the freak's that dipcrap doing here?

Corino: He's here to check out Punk and Joe. So please don't PMS on him, I beg you?!

Hunter (smiling): Ohhh I love it when you beg. I'm gonna punch him right now just to see you on your knees screaming ha-ha!

Corino: Very funny. Speaking of which I called those two a half an hour ago they should be here any minute now. Mr. Ace wants to go in his private room before the fans get here for gods sake. Where are they?

(Cut to I-95 Highway, where Punk and Raven are blasting Disturbed's "Down With The Sickness" in one car, while next to them Meanie is driving with Joe in passenger blasting Britney Spears "Opps I Did It Again" and mocking her dance moves)

Meanie: You know Mick Foley got me once with a Britney story. I was so gullible when it came to that sweet sweet girl.

Joe: Brotha whatcha talkin about? Look who she married! A trailer park redneck who happened to dress like Enemiem. Only he's not as talented as Enemiem, not as attractive as Enemiem…

Meanie: I can't believe you put Slim Shady and K-Fed in the same sentence.

Joe: Haha really brotha! And you know what's sad? He's probably trailer trash that watched WCW and chanted Goldberg like a retard and even worse.

Meanie: What?

Joe: He probably memorized 3-Count songs and sang them to Britney.

Meanie: Ouch! Well I Can't Get You Out Of My Heart was a classic Joe. He probably got in her pants by singing that to her.

Joe: Could you imagine that broomstick even stepping into a ring brotha?

Meanie: Well, he would make Dennis Rodman's run look respectable in comparison for sure.

Joe: Don't worry bro. I think even Johnny Ace is too smart to bring in someone like that.

Meanie: Perhaps. But what about Steph?

Joe: What about….no freakin way!! Damn it!! Now my Samoa Senses are tingling! K-Fed's gonna wrestle Cena I know it brotha!! And Britney's gonna divorce him for doing it!!

Meanie: So you mean Britney will be single?? (Smiling) Yes! Yes! Yes!

Joe: I don't know if I wanna be a wrestler anymore! Espically if Johnny's only bringing me in to make K-Fed look good!!!!!! Ahhhhhh!! Ahhhhhhh!

(Joe starts to panic, Meanie shoves a Snickers bar in his face which makes him smile)

Meanie: That a boy Joey! Now sing the song for me.

(Honky Tonk Man pops up in the backseat with guitar in hand.)

Joe (smiling): Happy peanuts soar over chocolate-covered mountaintops and waterfalls of caramel, prancing nougat in the meadows sings a song of satisfaction to the world….the world!!

Honky (patting Joe on the back): That's right. Cause you're cool, you're cocky…

Everyone: You're baaad!

(Honky's music plays as the cars drive off the highway.)

(Finally arriving at the arena, the 5 men exit their cars and find Trent Acid and Teddy Hart outside smoking blunts.)

Hart: What up crew? (Hi-fives Raven, Meanie, offers one to Joe only for Joe to growl. Punk walks over to Trent.)

Punk: What's up man? You don't look too good. I told you that poison you're smoking with spot monkey is gonna destroy you.

Acid: It's not that Punky. I ate something this morning that didn't agree with my stomach that's all. (Takes another smoke of the blunt)

Punk: Come on Trent! Don't give me that sh..(Raven looks on hoping he'll finish the word) I mean don't give me that stuff man! I know a good women you should talk to. She'll get…

Hart: (looking amused): Yeah right! You know some women homie?? Whatever man!

(Raven and Honky laugh out of Hart's crudeness)

Punk (getting agitated): You know something you little worm, I have a good mind to show you some….

Acid: Punk! Relax man. It's not him. I went to the bathroom and heard noises man. These really weird noises…

Punk: Oh my god Trent! You're getting high during the shows?

Acid: I pissed my pants man!

(Everyone but Punk trying and failing to hold in laughter)

Punk: I guess you do that kind of stuff when you don't know where you are, huh?! Do you even know we're at a wrestling show?!

Acid: Punk, I'm freakin ok man! Feinstein was in there!

(Everyone is rolling over in laughter, Punk is trying to hold it in, but everyone else's laughter finally gets him as he starts laughing uncontrollably)

Hart (laughing): No worries punk ass. He definitely wasn't smoking blunts with Feinstein homie. He was smoking him man!

Acid: No Ted! He was getting smoked by someone else. And that's why I pissed my pants man. You would too if you had 5 bottles of malt liquor and heard 2 guys getting freaky in a stall!

Raven: Are you sure it was him?

Acid: Yeah man, I used to hear his voice on the RF Video hotline all the damn time. Free wrestling gossip if you lived in the 215 area.

Joe: That's sick brotha, freakin sick!

Meanie: I promise Joe, I'll ask for no mayo when I go to Wendy's.

Everyone (feeling disgusted): Shut up, Meanie!

(Meanie smiles with an I'm sorry look)

Joe: It's ok brotha. Please do.

Raven: Come on guys, we'd better get inside before Corino complains and moans even more.

Joe: Point well taken bro.

Punk: You sure you're ok Trent?

Acid: I'm fine. By the way your boy Johnny Ace is in there. Go holla at him!

Raven: You ran into him huh Acid? What'd he tell ya?

Acid: Not much, just small talk. Ya know, locker rooms, as in how dirty they are, and wet! Oh god I didn't mean wet that was an accident. I mean..oh my god I said accident.

(Everyones laughing again)

Acid: Come on guys, this is really starting to piss me off!

(Everyones laughing on the ground again)

Raven: He said piss! Haha that's freakin hilarious!

(Acid's running back in the building. Joe, Punk, and Raven go inside. Meanie gets in the car for his Wendy's run. Honky confronts Teddy Hart.)

Honky: Hey kid, you got any more blunts on ya?

Hart (smiling): Damn right homie.

Honky (smiling): I'll give ya 20 bucks and a shot of vodka.

Hart: I know that crap's Absolut right?

Honky: Zodiac. Not the Brutus Beefcake kind either.

Hart: As tempted as I am to play the yes no game homie, I'll pass on the Americian crap man.

Honky: Alright, alright. Damn you're just as snobby as your uncle was kid.

(Honky walking, with Hart following)

Hart: Wait!

(Gives Honky a blunt)

Hart: So greatest IC champ of all time, know any rats in this town?

Honky: I know tons of em kid. Why don't we take a ride around town and I'll show ya where all the cheap rats hang out. (Honky starts laughing)

Hart: Hell yeah, I'm down with that homie. Let's go.

Honky: Hey don't you have a match tonight?

Hart: No man, just visiting some homies that's all.

(Hart and Honky drive off together)

(Back in the building they're ready to start the opening match. The Briscoe Brothers vs. Trent Acid and Teddy Hart)

Corino: Where the freak is Teddy at?

Acid: Outside smoking a cigerette relax Steve.

Corino: God damn, you've got a match right now! Go get him please!

Raven (looking outside): Umm Trent? Steve? I don't see anyone here.

Corino: What the freak you talking about? He was…. damn it!!

(Mr. Feinstein comes out of the men's bathroom)

Mr. Feinstein: What's going on Mr. Corino?

Corino: Teddy just bailed on us. Left without a care, a goodbye, nothing.

Mr. Feinstein (furious): Bahhh! He's done here.

Corino: What do we do about the first match?

Mr. Feinstein: Acid, you and JD Micheals have 15 minutes to get your crap together. I'll tell the Briscoes.

Acid: Yes, Mr. Feinstein. I'll go tell JD.

Punk: Good luck out there brother.

(Acid and Punk touch fists as Acid leaves)

Raven: Feinstein before you go, where the hell is that slime ball already?

Mr. Feinstein: Oh, Ace? He's at the concession stand buying a few dogs. He actually wants to watch the first match I don't believe it.

Raven (amused): I'm surprised you didn't offer him your dog Feinstein.

Feinstein (laughing along helplessly): I'm gonna find the Briscoes. Mr. Corino, when Mr. Ace is in a good mood, introduce him to Punk and Joe.

Corino: Yes sir.

(Acid and Michaels make their entrance accompanied by April Hunter. Ace is in the crowd yelling, "April!". When April looks at him he makes gestures with his hot dog suggesting she does it for him. April responds with an angry do it yourself. Ace comes up front to the guard rail confronting Hunter and her angry boyfriend Michaels. Acid steps in trying to calm them down only for Ace to purposely throw soda onto Acid's pants. The fans want Ace tossed only for Corino and Feinstein to step in between Ace and the angry threesome. Feinstein convinces Hunter, Acid and Michaels to do their jobs and Acid enters the ring looking like he pissed his pants. The fans heckle him, and Acid's telling them to "shut up!". Ace is smiling yelling, "You got it kid! You'll be getting a call from Jim Ross soon!" Feinstein and Corino wanting to get it done hoping Ace will leave bring Ace over to meet Joe and Punk.)

Mr. Feinstein: Here you go Mr. Ace. Meet CM Punk and Samoa Joe.

Ace (looking bored): Hello guys.

(Shakes hands with both Punk and Joe)

Punk: Mr. Ace, it is an honor to meet one half of the Dynamic Dudes.

Joe (under breath): I'd rather meet Shane Douglas brotha.

Ace (looking a bit peeved): What's that?

Punk: Nothing sir. Just Joe here digesting some Chinese food from earlier, right pal?

Ace: Yeah, it looks like he eats plenty of it for sure.

(Both Ace and Punk have a laugh, Joe is getting a little angry)

Punk: So Mr. Ace I guess you're here to check us out so I'll tell you about me. You see I'm straight-edge. I know you look at my piercing and tattoos and the last thing you would think about me is that I'm drug free, alcohol free, and smoke free. You see Mr. Ace that's what makes me so unique. I look like a punk but deep down inside I'm a good guy that wants to succeed in life. As you'll see with me and Joe later, we're more than capable of tearing the house down and I feel not just me but Joe here too would benefit the E greatly with our presence.

Ace: Really?

Punk: Absolutely sir.

Ace: Well personally I don't like guys that shove food down thier throats all day. Rikishi did that, and because of it we had to pay him to sit home and lose weight for 6 months! And I really don't like guys who think they live on the straight edge. They tend to be what's the word? Oh yeah hypocrites. They say they're 100% alcohol free yet when they're sick they take Nyquil like everyone else. What do you think they put in Nyquil kid, sugar? There's a reason you feel drowsy after taking it and it's called that's right, alcohol!

(Raven's looking on interested in Ace's speech to Punk)

Ace: When you have an energy drink filled with creatine, what do you think creatine is, a miracle herb? It's called a drug kid!

Punk (getting angry): With all due respect sir, it's not cool of you to question my lifestyle and ethics, what I do and what I don't when you've only known me for 3 minutes.

Ace: Well with all due respect kid, you better watch your tone of voice talking to me. I am the only person who has Stephanie McMahon's ear you understand me? I don't care how much Jim Cornette and Jim Ross love your work, she doesn't even listen to them. Without my approval she will throw both your pictures and names in the garbage and you'll be working middle schools and bingo halls your whole career. Do I make myself clear..(looks at Punk)..Punk?!

(Punk is getting mad but trying to stay level headed. Joe's face is red)

Ace (noticing Joe's look): Well nice talking to you guys. I'll be watching your match tonight, should be one of those five star classics that Cornette's always gushing about to Jim Ross. Good luck.

(Ace walks away with a cocky strut checking out So Cal Val's ass. The ring announcer says it's intermission time. Joe wants to kill Ace, Punk has tears of sadness stemming from Ace's comments. Raven's trying to get Punk back in the right mindset. Meanie is back, notices Joe's anger. He puts a Wendy's Triple Classic in his face only for Joe to tear up the bag and throw it violently in the corner.)

Meanie: Damn I'm sorry Joe. My bad. I forget no mayo.

(Joe pats Meanie)

Joe: I know brotha. Sorry I'm not hungry for food right now.

Meanie: What are you hungry for then?

Joe (with eyes of a tiger): The blood of an Ace.

(The show ends with Joe rubbing his hands together, Punk crying with Raven hugging him trying to calm him down.)

Next show: The Five Star Classic