...a smile leads to a laugh
...a laugh leads to a high 5
...a high 5 leads to a hug
...a hug leads to a kiss
...a kiss leads 2 makeout
...a makeout leads 2 finger
...a finger leads to a hand
...a hand leads to a lick
...a lick leads to a suck
...a suck leads 2 a fuck.
...So tell me how many people are you gonna smile at after you heard this cuz sex is like math.
...u add the bed
..subtract the clothes
...divide the legs
...leave your solution
...and pray you dont multiply
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Men have two heads and Women have four lips. If u have sex 365 times a year and you melted down all the condoms to make a tire, what would you call it? A fucking goodyear!
Sex is like playing spades. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. 
The Big Bad Wolf told Little Red Riding Hood "lift up your top so I can suck your tits" 
. "No", she said while lifting her skirt, "eat me like the fucking book says!" 
A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed . The cat said, "a wet pussy always makes a cock happy!" 
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard. 
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FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!" FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry. REAl FRiENDS: cry with you FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAl FRiENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you. REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door. REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!" FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile. REAl FRiENDS: Are for life FAKE FRiENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. REAl FRiENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste shit." FAKE FRiENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the fuck out FAKE FRIENDS: would leave you hamamerd as shit laying in the middle of the road. REAL FRIENDS: would pick your heavy ass up and take them back to there house to take care of and in the morning would tell that he had to take care of your ass and clean up ur gross puke but its all good cuz ya hommies for life FAKE FRiENDS: Would ignore this REAl FRiENDS: Would put this on their page Sex, drugs, rock n roll
Weed, speed, birth control
life's a bitch then you die
don't get drunk, just get high
Stoners live, stoners die
but in the end they all get high
Party hard, rock n roll
Drink a fifth, smoke a bowl
Pop some pills, snort some coke
smoke a blunt till you choke
life's a bitch then you die
Smoke some weed, and let's get high
Party hearty, rock and roll
drink a keg, smoke a bowl
we're the stoners, we've got class
fuck with us, we'll kick
your ass
To all you preps who think you're cool
Well fuck right off cause stoners rule
I'm hooked on crack
I'm hooked on weed
I'm hooked on phonics....
....still can't read.
