I drink more then reasonably acceptable, usually an asshole and have no ambitions for my future.

Seeking: A super model who will cook, clean and generally tend to me hand and foot.

Assholes Finish First

Beer, crunchy peanutbutter, country, dodge ram, sexified computers, pay cheques, texas hold'em, vampire movies, steak, lego, regular nintendo, turkey, friends, cool people but not superficial "cool people", days off, family guy, road trips, halloween, sammiches, licking envolopes (as long as the glue is sweet), crumbs at the bottom of a box of chocolate chip cookies, foreign money, chewing on pens, pepsi, magnets, emoticons , crayons, bubble wrap, pineapple (NOT ON PIZZA!), shrimp, fruitopia lids, white milk, pet fish, peeling labels off bottles, where's waldo books, kraft dinner, french fries, tin foil, porn, maddox, calling spaghetti "spisgetti", camping, board games, the number 2 and the letter C, seasoned crutons, photography, cartoons, warm clothes fresh from the dryer, ninja's, humorus T-shirts, chuck norris, sushi, hot women, stickers, whiskey, sand castles, internet, candle wax, orange juice, roller coasters, non-smokers, WoW, subway, greek mythology, baloons, spontaneous humor, oxymorons and/or puns, chewing ice, drinking games, illusions, ipods, making random friends at the bar, pirates, sleep, beer bongs, forensics, hmv, tatoos, cell phones, minesweep, hanging out, the word discombobulated, sex, velcro, corn, cheese, spoons, buckles, buttons, honey nut cheerios, frisbee's, creeping, shiny objects, stealing cruches, earning stars, acting german, the alphabet of manliness, guns, TV, lying, I like to party, shoe laces, train sets, toothpicks, stamps, pumpkin pie, DVD's, minesweep, rockin out, gui's, bird dog's, coffee, intelligent people, dill pickles, "open bar", cash flow, chapstick, coppin feels, cameras, spearamint gum, and ninja turtles.

Everything not listed above.

Including you.



I hope they serve beer in hell.