so every thing is fucked up
what do i do i feel nothing.
nothing leaves me feeling emptey.

hope i still have hope but is it not worth hoping for
is it a false image in my head put there just to torment
me ...to the point where i cant sleep or eat any more.

i cant help but be sad how can i just not be sad...its not that easy
when all my dreams every thing i ever wanted just fucking dissapered
like that....and im left with ....what nothing....sigh.

yaaa ashleys comming i cant wait to show her a good time here in vacouver were going to do so many thing have a good time ....il show her who i really am like i talk to her on the phone yay

Everything happens for a reason
You don't know what you have till it's gone
In Life things go wrong
If it doesn't kill you it's only gonna make you strong
If everything is right then there's something wrong
What’s victory with no loss
What's smiling with no tears
What's love with no hate
What's courage with no fear

i went down this crazzy fucking hill and my skate is so fucking fast... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh then this car came and i was like ohh shit
then i wipe the fuck out and scrape my fucking body up kinda stinging a bit.
i need to get knee pads fuck that was insanity.

hey im going to Seattle this week end to see my girl friend and go snowboarding
this is gonna be so much fun i cant wait..peace

to be one with some one
and to never let go
is all i want from this life
i love you more then
you know.

I'm fire....

Fire. Like fire, you have a hot temper and you can be warm and loving as well and angry and wild. It all really comes down to what you are feeling. You have a lot of close friends who you are very protective over, and with your temper probably some enemies too. You are not Miss/Mr Popular in school since you are your own person and don't want to be forced into behaving this or that way. You are the untamed wild horse, the kind that everyone wants to catch. But you don't want to be tied down for the moment and just keep going with your little crushes. Your will is strong and if you set your mind to do something, you will most likely succeed. But beware, your friends may not always accept your mood-swinging behaviour. Even if you don't mean to be mean, they can still feel hurt. You just need to start thinking some things through before you do them, and not always jump in with so much courage. One day you may be hurt because of that, but then again, your element isn't fire if you start to analyse situations before you act. After all, your nature is to shoot first and ask the questions later.

If life offers one last chance
To make a better decision, would you try?
Come on home to those who love you
Be like the soft waves of the sea coming in to land
Take dreams, hopes within your soul
Make use of the talents the gifts you do posses

my new years resolution is not to be such a bitter person and not to think that im always right all the time and not have to always win. i guess i have alot of growing up to do. im 22 now and its 2008 and i have to change some things about me. so that people around me can be more happy and enjoy life more. i don't want to bring people down. i guess im self centered most of the time i been doing better now but if you do it for a couple of days or just a week thats not good enough so my goal this year is to be not so self centered and put others first b4 me not just for a couple of days but for every day of my life. if i just show some compassion for other people then every one else will be more happy. i know im not a bad person because some times i can be a great person. if i just think a little. about my actions and how they effect the people around me. i really fucked up on new years.i don't know why i find it so hard for me to be alone and just be by myself. i guess i don't like myself who ive become and i cant stand it. i have very low confidence.
but i been having more lately like knowing that its my choice what i do and no one can stop me if i say no. so if i have time to myself im just gonna reflect on my life and look in the mirror and look my self.

so Ashley came to my birth day it was the best day ever because she was there i got to spend alot of time with her almost a whole week that was great i loved that so much she got me this awesome skate board made of bamboo its rad. we got to spend time with each other i loved that so much take her our to movies and dinner play games and just be with each other im so glad for our time together
because we don't get that much with each other because were so far apart. But i know that she loves me more then any thing in the world and she wont let me go
and i wont let her go ever. i just love her. so im going back to school now and gonna be working at the same time its gonna be hard. but you have to work hard to get back thing in life that you want. nothing worth wile is ever easy. i know i can get through this because she gives me strength she makes me believe we can do any thing. Ashley you are my reason i get up in the morning...your the reason i dream....i love you more then you know

[/color]

im starting to feel better again
and not so sad all the time
and its because of you Ashley

I LOVE YOU

so i never felt so bad in my life...never regretted any thing so much
and i cant take it back no matter what i do...i cant take it back...
no matter how much i wish...or try i cant...and that makes me sad
there is this deep sadness inside me...i wish i could make it go away.
the only time that it goes away is when i with her...if i did not have her
the sadness would over take me...and i would be a mess a wreck..
id be nothing...nothing to love nothing to do....just nothing. in my life time
i have fucked up alot of things...and the reason is simply i just did not like
myself...and i wanted to be accepted by people...and if that ment being some
one i was not then...i did it. but that was not me...thats not who i am...inside.
i know that i can say no..and i control my actions..and no one else...so in the future
im just gonna think to my self "im i doing whats best for me and how will this effect the people i love". its not that hard to care...i should have started like this from the begining.. all i can do now..is try to set things right...and make the right actions
the right choices...the only thing im holding on to is that she still loves me some how..sigh

for all my life all i have ever wanted was to be happy
i mean truly happy. i almost lost that chance and
i would never forgive myself ever it i did. now i look at
my life with hope and joy for the future i am actually doing
some thing productive with my life. i am going back to school
and so that me and the person i love can have a good life..
and not struggle threw every thing...i know that i can do it
because i have her...and she is my strength because she believes
in me so much...its amazing...i cant wait till she comes back to vancouver
and comes back to me and we can be together every day ...ohh i dream
of that day so much...i think about it....and it makes me happy inside..we been threw so much more then any one would ever know...and we have always been
ok...we just needed each others love...i just love you Ashley... i just
want her to look at me and say thats the one i love..thats the one i love with all my heart and im so proud of him..he makes me smile ....he keeps me warm..
hes the one i love..and will never let go of, no one can make me...i just love him

More Then Words Lyric

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words