pro patria moria
[/i]
Hot Lips Houlahan
[hott lipps hoo-la-han]
Before having a female engage your penis in oral sex, place a condom over your penis. While the female is distracted, rub the condom covered member with tobasco sauce. As she places the penis in her mouth, this will result in an extreme burning sensation on the lips of the female. Thusly, giving her "hot lips".
Angry Pirate
[ang-gree pie-rit]
(A women must be on her knees giving a male oral sex in order for this maneuver to work properly.) Once a man is feeling as though he may ejactulate, he acts calmly, and plays it as though he is going to ejactulate into the females mouth. At the last moment, he removes his penis and ejactulates in the females open eye. Due to the semen in her eye, the female will most likely jump up in discomfort. It is at this exact moment that the male must kick the female very swiftly in the shin. The males work is complete.The female will now jump around on one leg (resembling a peg leg) with one eye closed (like that of a pirates patched eye). The female will also most likely scream, "ARRRGH!" is most common.
Rodeo
[row-dee-oh]
While a man is engaging in sexual relations with a woman, in the position most commonly known as 'doggy style', the male will proceed to grab the females hair into a bunch and hold in firmly in one hand. Now, the male leans closer to his female partner (the male must make sure he has a firm grip on the bunch of hair at this moment) and says something along the lines of "your mother was better", "i fucked your best friend(may also be substituted for 'sister')" or even possibly "i have aids(gonerea, herpes, or any STI)". The female will clearly be very angry (like the rage often seen in bulls or mad cows). The male must hold on for 8 seconds to recieve full points. Go get 'em cowboy.
Rusty Trombone
[rust-tee tr-ohm-bow-nuh]
To get rimmed whilst recieving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.
Chili Dog
[chi-lee dawg]
A man defecates on a womans breats, then proceeds to pleasure himself in between her breasts using the bodily waste as a lubricant.
The penis = hot dog
The bodily waste = chili
The breasts = buns
Alabama Hot Pocket
[/i][hott lipps hoo-la-han]
Before having a female engage your penis in oral sex, place a condom over your penis. While the female is distracted, rub the condom covered member with tobasco sauce. As she places the penis in her mouth, this will result in an extreme burning sensation on the lips of the female. Thusly, giving her "hot lips".
Angry Pirate
[ang-gree pie-rit]
(A women must be on her knees giving a male oral sex in order for this maneuver to work properly.) Once a man is feeling as though he may ejactulate, he acts calmly, and plays it as though he is going to ejactulate into the females mouth. At the last moment, he removes his penis and ejactulates in the females open eye. Due to the semen in her eye, the female will most likely jump up in discomfort. It is at this exact moment that the male must kick the female very swiftly in the shin. The males work is complete.The female will now jump around on one leg (resembling a peg leg) with one eye closed (like that of a pirates patched eye). The female will also most likely scream, "ARRRGH!" is most common.
Rodeo
[row-dee-oh]
While a man is engaging in sexual relations with a woman, in the position most commonly known as 'doggy style', the male will proceed to grab the females hair into a bunch and hold in firmly in one hand. Now, the male leans closer to his female partner (the male must make sure he has a firm grip on the bunch of hair at this moment) and says something along the lines of "your mother was better", "i fucked your best friend(may also be substituted for 'sister')" or even possibly "i have aids(gonerea, herpes, or any STI)". The female will clearly be very angry (like the rage often seen in bulls or mad cows). The male must hold on for 8 seconds to recieve full points. Go get 'em cowboy.
Rusty Trombone
[rust-tee tr-ohm-bow-nuh]
To get rimmed whilst recieving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.
Chili Dog
[chi-lee dawg]
A man defecates on a womans breats, then proceeds to pleasure himself in between her breasts using the bodily waste as a lubricant.
The penis = hot dog
The bodily waste = chili
The breasts = buns
Alabama Hot Pocket
[Al-ah-bam-ah H-awt Pock-eht]
The Alabama Hot Pocket is a manevuer in which a man will spread the lips of a vagina, and proceed to defecate inside the vagina. Intercourse is optional after this sexual move has been successfully performed.
Birmingham Booty Call
[Burr-ming-ham Boot-tee K-all
Note:to perform this maneuver your sexual partner needs a cellphone
A man will take his partners cellular device, set the standard ringer on vibrate, and proceed to instert it into the females anus. The man will then proceed to have sex with the girls vagina. During intercourse the man will call the cell phone (keep porking the female though) and then tell his female partner to force the cellphone out of her rectum. The man will then have the female answer her cellphone and proceed to talk dirty to his lover as he becomes closer and closer to ejaculation. Once he reaches climax he ejaculates onto his lovers cellphone. (ejaculation on the cellular device is optional and not necessary to perform this maneuver correctly.)
Jona and the Whale[/i]
[Joe-nah and the Wh-ale]
A man will insert his erect penis into a females rectum and proceed to pleasure himself to the point of climax. The man will then ejaculate into the femals rectum. The female will then fart out the ejaculate. Thusly resembling a whales blowhole.
Alligator Fuckhouse[/i]
[Al-ih-gay-tor Fuck-how-ss]
During the act of sexual intercourse a man will bite his lovers neck (possibly rather hard), then proceed to wrap his arms and legs tightly around his female partner. Then he will proceed to roll around daringly in a 'deathroll' while his erect penis is still insterted in the female vagina.
Rotten Oyster
[Rott-ehn Oi-stur]
A man has picked up a woman (most likely a swap donkey from the local pub, they're known for this) and takes her home to have intercourse.Unfortunatly he finds that her vagina has a foul odour and possibly an awful taste (proceed having intercourse, shell get hers.) A man must proceed to have sexual relations with the woman until reaching climax. Once this point is reached you pull your penis out of her awful vagina, and insist she gives your oral sex until you ejaculate, so that she can taste her rotten oyster.[/right]
Mama and Papa were lying in bed
Mama rolled over and this is what she said
Ah, gimme some
P.T
P.T
Good for you
And good for me
Mmm, good
Up in the morning to the rising sun
Gotta run all day till the runnings done
Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch!
Got the blueballs, crabs, and the seven year itch.
Mama rolled over and this is what she said
Ah, gimme some
P.T
P.T
Good for you
And good for me
Mmm, good
Up in the morning to the rising sun
Gotta run all day till the runnings done
Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch!
Got the blueballs, crabs, and the seven year itch.
"it seems as if heaven had sent its insane angels into our world as ti ab asylum, and here they will break and in their native music and utter at intervals the words they have heard in heaven; then the mad fit returns and they mope and wallow like dogs"
-emerson[/size]
children do not need fairytales to tell them that dragons exist, children already know dragons exist, fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed.
. . .