Thought for the day.. can you really call cheese in a can cheese? I mean what qualities of cheese has it inherently kept? truely?

2 minute Blurb

For those of you who do not wish to take the time out of your busy schedule to read my profile.. Let me sum up my life for you. I'm 23, I have one brother who's 26. I am currently in University (my senior year) double majoring in English and History (if you find this intimidating..move on.. I need a man who can handle it). I'm applying to Law School, and hopefully with a little bit of luck and skill I'll be attending some law school next fall. I live in an apartment by myself..well sorta.. I got a kitten in May and she keeps growing on me more and more (her name is Lola). Umm I hate coffee (except for Ice capps), snakes creep me out..scorpions too.. Vodka with something other than pop..is usually my only drink of choice.. I drive.. but not for long.. I screwed up and got a d.u.i.. (haha I know when brilliant girls go bad).. either way don't judge me.. I judge myself quite often and do a darn fantastic job of it.. What else? Umm I don't know that I'm necessarily ready for a relationship..or want one.. I do like company though.. I think what would be ideal..is meeting someone who just wanted to spend time with me.. no rules.. no obligations.. just spending time with eachother.. yup.. sounds good to me.. ok.. go on ignoring the rest of this now.. haha Oh and FYI..for those of you that continue on..there probably will be spelling errors.. don't take my "English degree" so seriously.. I use spell check

How YOU doin?


My Pimp.. haha--->

Ultimately what I'm looking for[/size][/b]

What do I look for? Darn good question..well I guess if someone were to do a police line up of the gentleman I'm normally interested in.. you wouldn't find one similarity among the lot.. I have a tendency to change it up when things don't work out..but it really hasn't done me a whole lot of good..Typically, however, I normally look for boyish charm, hilarity, spontinaity, romanticism, and someone who can handle public affection.. If you're a thug/player/profane individual..move on..you are seriously messing with the wrong woman...[/color]

What impresses me?[/size][/b]

Well lets say this..if 3/4 of your pictures involve you being drunk... don't talk to me. I want a mature individual. MATURE.. someone who still loves to dance.. but I don't have to cure his alcoholism...I like interesting facts.. like the "Did you know?" get some tips from Bill Nye if you need some help.. haha or basically..someone who skips the whole cliche "how are you?..what are you doing?..I'm fine routine.." I'd adore it..if he just went on prattling about his day like he's known me forever.. who better than a perfect stranger to reveal your inner most thoughts and feelings? haha

Any man of mine? ...he'd do those over the top.. corny romantic gestures that leaves me in tears.. and my friends jealous.. he'd know all the right things to say when i'm upset.. though i guess this is a learned response.. he'd tell me I was beautiful every day and make me feel desirable.. even when I was convinced I was looking my worst.. He'd make sacrifices to keep me happy.. and I would do the same for him.. we'd never go to bed angry.. we'd talk til were blue in the face... and he would always.. watch my chick flicks.. complain about them constantly.. then cry during a really sappy girly part.. .. I need someone who is mature.. and doesn't act like a 5 year old when we're out in public.. I like having fun much as the next person.. but when it's offensive.. or rude.. or whatever count me out..
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Goals?[/size][/b]

Well .. I already informed you of my Educational goals.. How about life goals? I can't necessarily say I want children any time soon..and I'm very sorry if this upsets some of you.. Let me explain.. Growing up..all my friends parents were divorced and living on welfare and it always felt like they blamed me when my parents paid for things..or basically just cared about me like normal parents should.. Well.. my friends should have been inspired by this particular scenario growing up.. they should have demanded a better life for themselves.. but most of them are still in my hometown.. wasting away their lives...getting pregnant early on..not achieving any educational goals for themselves that would ensure a financially stable future..and quite frankly it sickens me.. I want to be successful.. I don't want to be dependent on someone who has the potential of leaving me one day and destroying my entire balance of life.. This doesn't mean I want to proverbally "wear the pants"..and make the guy the stay at home dad.. but I don't want to compromise my future either.. Quite frankly I would enjoy.. (later on) someone who already had a child..saves me from stepping away from career goals.. as horrible as that sounds.

On a more lighter side.. I would definately love to travel more.. I've definately considered working on a cruise ship next summer.. might be exciting

Four words that might describe me are: realistic..grounded.. loyal.. and honest.. (in no particular order).[/color]

A song that describes the kinda relationship i want is "Best I'll ever be" by Sister Hazel


"Best I'll Ever Be"

I miss you
I miss being overwhelmed by you
And I need rescue
I think I'm fading away
But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear
I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room

So I wait and I wait
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

I miss you
I miss talking all night long with you
And I need this to find a way to your home
My love can you hear me
Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough
Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

Can't keep my hands from shaking
Stumbling through the wreckage again
But you're gone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
And I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid on our backs and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be

My New Band/Song IT list:

1) Quietdrive - "Take a Drink with me" "Rise From the Ashes"
2) Seventh Day Slumber- "Caroline"
3) Sick Puppies- "asshole father," "say my name"
4) Beyonce- "Irreplaceable"
5) The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- "damn regret"
6) American Hi Fi- "the breakup song"
7) Sonicflood- "I want to know you more"
8) Jeremy Camp - This man
9) Rehab-This Town

My New Years Resolutions

I wish to be more... Independent.. more care-free.. more free to pursue my endeavors.. less scared to venture the unknown.. less structured and more structured at the same time.. I want to need more.. and want less...I want to spend more time with friends.. go camping.. have stories to tell.. I want to try new things that I was either to scared to try.. or just never had the opportunity.. I want to meet people that will bring out the adventurous side of me.. I want someone in my life that tells me exactly how I'm being.. whether it be too needy.. too whiney.. too bitchy.. whatever the case may be.. I want them to be able to tell me off and not worry about the reprocussions.. I can handle it.. I want to be more loving.. and more nurturing.. sometimes.. I'm too level-headed and honest.. which can come off as cold.. I want to have someone to cuddle.. someone to watch movies with.. someone to want me to want them.. I want to wander up a sandy beach barefoot..collect shells.. watch the sunset on the water.. I want to be less afraid to face life.. and more ready to endure it.. I want to be less bitter.. less cynical.. and take each moment.. for everything it's worth.. and never regret any friend or foe I create.. I want to better myself physically and emotionally.. I want to be a better person.. a more beautiful person.. inside and out..

I'm trying to be a better me.. and there will be technical difficulties during the transition.. I do apologize for the inconvience.. but don't let me scare you off... I'm different in person than I am online.. online I feel free to say whatever I want.. cuz i don't have you staring back at me.. in person.. I hold a lot more in.. and I'm better at saying the right things in person.. haha I'm actually thinking of foregoing my text messaging.. cuz i end up ruining things a lot by over thinking.. and rethinking things.. I usually read way too deep into everything.. if i do that.. just say Jessica stop.. sometimes all i need is reassurance that ur genuine.. and for those of you who never have to see that insecure side of me.. good for you.. that means ur presence alone and ur body language makes me feel secure.


After brushing up on my wikipedia knowledge.. i learned the following.. and although i did not know this when i got my 2 fairy tattoos... it seems the best fitting explanation for why i love fairies..

On Fairies:

"A third belief held that they were a class of "demoted" angels. One popular story held that when the angels revolted, God ordered the gates shut; those still in heaven remained angels, those in hell became devils, and those caught in between became fairies. Others held that they had been thrown out of heaven, not being good enough, but were not evil enough for hell. This may explain the tradition that they had to pay a "teind" or tithe to Hell; as fallen angels, though not quite devils, they are subject to the Devil.

I think this is a metaphor for my life.. because I always feel "caught between".. I know I'm not like other girls.. and quite frankly..I don't really care.. I'm not dependent on a man for happiness..happiness comes from within.. I don't need a relationship to satisfy me.. The few relationships I have with friends and my kitten..satisfy me just fine. And the annoying bickering back and forth that couples so frequently have..are well..down right annoying.. and though people tell me that it's the fighting that keeps things interesting.. I don't share that perspective. I just want to co-exist with someone..enjoy their company.. see their lame movies..be dragged to ridiculous places because they don't want to go alone.. cuddle with someone on the couch watching late night movies..or just talking..whatever.. just co-existing.

Here's a survey for those of you who are bored and have nothing better to do... I was wondering..In your opinion.. what actions could a girl do.. not kiss on a first date.. kiss on a first date... touch your hand.. hold your hand.. etc.. that would make you say.. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS GIRL AGAIN!!.. submit ur answers.. it's a topic I'm curious about.. oh.. and i don't mean.. what actions does she have to do to make u want her in a nasty way.. I mean a girlfriend way.. what are things u look for that screams gf material?[/font][/size]

LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS:

I don't like the phrase "lets hook up" because face it guys.. that means one thing... SEX.. so say it to me.. and expect nothing... I don't like the idea of going over to some guy's house for a "movie" again.. that means one thing... sex.. and again.... EXPECT A NO.. from this gal.. If ur looking for a piece of ass.. i suggest you flip through the classifieds.. I'm all about the romance.. if you want to impress me.. do the unmanly thing.. rent a chick flick.. and do any one of the romantic things u see a guy do in the film.. and I'll swoon..I want to talk about life.. experiences.. memories.. adventures.. i think you learn more about a person knowing how they handled a situation.. rather than them being like.. i like.. ummm socks.. [/color]

Also.. here are more important answers to more important questions.[/color]

1)[/color] IF [/color] you want to talk to me..You MUST HAVE A PICTURE. Don't bother otherwise. I'm not shallow by any means.. but if i am to like someone.. i don't like being deceived.. If I show you my picture.. it's only fair to show me yours.. I'm sorry if you don't know how to post a picture on nex.. ask me.. I'll tell you how. .. SPEAKING of pictures.. if u've taken ur pictures from so far away i can barely make out ur face.. ur deceptive.. if u take it with a cap covering ur face.. or anything else covering ur face.. ur deceptive.. if it's at a bad angle so i still can't see ur face.. ur ugly.. even if ur hot behind all that crap... THEN SHOW IT.. this isn't a game of guess freakin who.. I'd like to see who i'm talking to. [/color]
2)[/color] NO.[/color] I don't want to cam. This isn't a bar or some cheap hook up joint.. I know why you want to see me on cam.. and I'm not amused.. Though for those of you who I deem are mentally stable and not complete horn dogs.. I'll be happy to go on for you. [/color]
3)[/color] NO .[/color] I don't want to hook up. Sorry.. at this point in my life.. I've realized I want more and deserve more. [/color]
4)[/color] NO. [/color] I don't want to add you to my msn.. I rarely use the thing cuz people can be so hasseling and so demanding on it.. I multi-task when i'm on the computer.. so i don't like every second of delayed response being monitored by impatient people. [/color]
5)[/color] NO. [/color] I don't want to meet you after two seconds of talking to you.. ask me again when i'm drunk.. bored out of my tree.. and absolutely desperate for something to do.. maybe then i'll change my mind. [/color]
6)[/color] NO.[/color] I will not talk to you if you're over 29. You could have been my babysitter for christ sake.[/color]
7)[/color] DON'T[/color]mail me incessantly. If I don't message you back... IT'S FOR A GOD DAMN REASON.[/color]
8.)[/color] IF[/color] you do drugs.. friendship.. relationship.. nothing will work.. so stop acting hurt when I RESTATE THIS.[/color]
9)[/color] IF[/color] you're not my version of sexy.. or based on your profile.. if I deem we have less in common than a monkey and a speaker.. I won't message you back.[/color]
10) [/color]IF [/color] you can't speak English..or you're a foreigner.. don't bother. You're wasting your time. IF YOU CAN READ THIS. (god. *shakes head*)[/color]

FINALLY.. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY[/color] ONE MONTH RULE[/color] .. I now have a one month rule.. This means exactly this.. I've had bad experiences with a few guys.. who wanted nothing more than a sexual encounter.. I feel that if you're still talking to me on a daily basis after a month.. ur interested in more than my ass.. though I will forego the rule for those that truely dazzle me so dazzle away.. [/color]

This is how I show some love.. whether you want it or not.. hahaha