elec;tron
Indececisive is how I am, and for the longest time I couldnt make up my mind about you. But its made up. I love you Alexandra Patterson. Mine!
Listen people, no matter what I say, the girl in the picture above is to whom I am owned. I know sometimes I get a little cuddly, but then, things slip all the time. Ignore, I adore her far too much ^.^


Hazy Dreams

Walking forward, trudging into the unknown. Promises of happiness, riches, adoration waiting on the other side of this long dark dreamscape inhabited by the large expanses of the human subconcious. How sweet the air feels tonight, hanging with a tinge of sour green in the gray haze. Walking alone as most great men do, feeling around the dense mist for something to remind me that I may still be alive, something to show me Im still on earth. As I move forth I feel the ground give way beneath my feet, and I see the haze disappear before me. At first thought it may have been drained into the ominous hole that has consumed me in the looming nothingness, but then realizing I am the one being forced into a freefall. Falling.... Falling.... As I look amidst the darkness that surrounds my hellbound descent, I feel something. Something with me. Surrounding me. In the moments before my final voyage, I was doing something. Searching. Waiting. Hoping. Dreaming that nightmare that haunts us all until the day we unexpectedly fall into this abyssal pit that leads to a whereabouts unknown. The air seems still in my perpetual descent, silent in the haze above, which seems less distant, growing closer to me. This fall begins to feel more and more pleasant after the initial shock and unexpected tumble. It's starting to feel.... Completing. The ground approaches before me, but I no longer rue my impact. In my mind it may be solid, but in reality it may be softer, more inviting. Either way, it's imperative to my descent. No longer fighting the fall, but embracing it, as my body collides with it. I look around I'm still above amidst the green haze and thick, wet air. Searching. For what? The damp grip still clamps onto me, keeping me wandering. Searching. Dreaming. The other side of me, this freedom, happiness, satisfaction. This fall that never happened has given me something. Happiness. The dreaming state, this one at least, felt only by those left broken and lonely by one they thought was a dream come true, has gone now. In this Hazy Dream, only one thing matters. I've found my happiness. Through this damp expanse of mind and matter, I've found my dream come true. My someone to wade me through the mindscape of green fog and bursting streams of vengeance fueled flames. My one perfect dream come true, enchanting my path with a holy radiance only told of in scripture, draws me forth. As I walk into the light, I can see this dream of mine, her face, her eyes, so perfect and pure, lighting my way with a smile that cuts the fog in my wake. This may be another dream, but if you're here when I awake, my world will never be the same.


Dead Space

Dead space, floating aimlessly in the vast cosmic reaches of the void, being watching and forgotten by countless worlds flying by. A cold sunbeam jets past and vanishes in the abyssal wasteland of black and white. The canopy of stars in the distance, never to be handled by the corrosive hands of life. A luminous cloud devours the planet past, leaving a sparking incandescent trail in its wake, turning the beautifully green world into a molten descolance of red and black. A tug of stellar wind, glowing with radiation, pulls me forward into the reaches of deep space. A figure appears in the path set for me by the stellar winds of fate. A world, out of focus and still distant, growing closer and the aching moments lurch by in the time devoid existence of a space drifter. A blue world closes the distance, pushing through the emptiness of the dead reaches, fighting towards a collision course with me. As the world grow closer the greenery becomes a visible substance, the shape of the islands and various worlds within. Gravity begins to take effect. The force of the giant sphere of genesis drags me inward, the inertia so foreign to me pulling me towards the gorgeous green and blue. The stars blur out in the distance, as the blue engulfs the scenery. As the atmosphere nears, the friction of the air sets in. I start my tumble from hell, and in my descent the power turns me into a flaming phoenix as I dart down toward the vibrant living utopia. As the force of gravity drags me to the ground, the stars and darkness fade and melt away, taking their permanent residence in the vast peripheries of the empty star clusters. The ground, beautifully terra-formed islands scattered about the vast surface, approaches quickly. The force about me sways the trees on my still vigorous fall to earth from the celestial beyond. The earth makes contact. As the ground touches my wings they shatter and fold, but my mind remains intact and my body alive. My feet break the once - sand - glass as I ascend. The land, vast and green, healthy, hospitable. Solitary. The heat dissociates around me, the sand turned to glass on my impact, shatters beneath my feet. As a bright sun appears over the horizon, the sky ignites in a flame of luminous orange and purple, blanketing the land with a cascade of beautiful flourescance. As the yellow sphere rounds the corner into the sky, the violent display of a violet spectrum dims and the blue returns, laying down a curtain of colour against the sapphire isle. The clouds absorb the static backdrop behind them, streaking white aimlessly across the now bright aqua sky. As my sight descends, the leaves strangle my view, saturation the land with life and colour. I take my first step and feel the grass fragments embed themselves deep in my flesh with every inch forward, but the pain never comes. I feel as if the land itself is trying to embed itself in me, scarrin me in a way I never will forget or let go. Just as my mind finally feels at ease with the beautiful land, the dark radiation that mere hours prior seered a planet before me, reducing it to a dark red slagheap. As it enters the atmosphere, a chance, a door, to escape appears before me. As I near the door, I draw my foot away from it slowly, thinking "Why, if I have seen Heaven, would I return to Hell?" As I stand, wings shattered, scarred and broken, I watch the cloud move closer and closer. The dark wave of death and malevolence devours the aqua skyline. The beautiful blue and white wash away in a purple morphing fray, taking with it the vibrance of the isle. As it closes the distance between it and I, I stand my ground, arms outstretched and waiting for death. As it surrounds and engulfs me, a tingling sensation runs through me like a molten shockwave. The light in my eyes dims, and the world crumbles around my failing mind as one last thought escapes. I would rather die than leave something as amazing as this, so I let that be my final image.

Starstruck

my own to cling to and to love
my angel from the stars above
chased away my foreign fears
crushed the guilt and dried the tears
three blinks and now she is gone
darkness stands where light once shone
left me in my dark relay
my thoughts amock and my mind in decay
of what my thoughts are none can say
wont live to see another day
but who really cares anyway
on a lonely bed I lay
swirling in thoughts of days past
i guess its true nice guys finish last
but low a light appears from the mist
and another not is checked on my list
a false beginning in my midst
now ive failed again, and Im getting pissed
alone I stay to stifle my woes
thinking in solitary so the story goes
dark my thoughts and evil my feelings
my heart pumpiing clots and my blood congealing
Locked away in my sacred tower
my life ticking slowly by the hour
my mind led astray into the abyss
my eyes seeing wrong and my feelings amiss
ive lost my mind and it feels great
who cares if my mind of late
all it did was cause me pain
cause me guilt, tears, distain
id rather sit here, in my solitary fortress
no standards in here though it seems rewardless
a knock comes at my door
an unholy act with an unholy bore
my answer comes stale and gone
but in the back of my mind ive already won
before me an angel, to get me out of here
this idea howver, met with pure fear
freedom seeming ever so near
and my choice now seems very clear
take my hand the angel whispered
for a moment i thought id misheard
who in this world would want to give me a hand
a dark heathen soul in a dark forgotten land
still i obliged and rose up beside her
little did I know my love already spied her
a moment of good luck in a sea of misfortune
i feel as if the darkness will be gone soon
i wonder if she feels the same
the doubt returns and i feel the pain
and with an embrace i let myself go
free of guilt and distain and woe
now with her hand im her till i die
why to this sweet sullen angel would i lie
i want this to be my last
not to be judged by promises past
so will you be my angel forever now
keep this alive, no matter how
be mine as long as you live my love
let us take our place together in the stars above
a celestial being returning to the clouds
how she found me ill never find out
only thing i know is im hers forever
and hopefully its mutual and never will sever
for you see im in love, and i know this for sure
because i had gone mad, and she was the cure