10 reasons why to f*ck a hockey player......
1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9. They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls
if beer has never touched your lips, if you've never packed a dip, or never dropped the mits, and you consider yourself a hockey player, chances are you're not a very good one.
The hockey player
The cockiest, dirtiest, most irresponsible group of athletes in the
world. Will do anything and come back to tell his teammates about it.
Live the dream until they are 35 then realize they never made it. Ladies
love us, guys want to be us, we are the soul of the universe. You lace up
the skates, put on the gloves, strap on the helmet, and walk on to the
ice and nothing else matters.
It doesn't matter that you failed a test, your girl is being a bitch, or
that you got a ticket on the way to the rink...you're world is absolutely
perfect for the next couple hours. Here's to face-offs, goals, assists,
overtime, living on the road, cold rinks, early mornings, breakaways,
going top cheese, countless hours of practice, bag skates, thousands of
dollars, dangling d-men, big hits, broken twigs, new skates, packing
bombs, wheelin' broads, coaches, adding the letter "y" to the end of
everyone's last name, the word "fuck", pick-up hockey, fights, let downs,
miracles and most of all - the game, Hockey.
Why? Why do we skate back and forth night after night? Skating so hard we
throw up. Skating so hard your heart beat rings in your head, while your
lungs are grasping for air. Late nights, early mornings, Friday nights,
Saturday evenings, broken bones, torn muscles and deep bruises. We skate
through it all. Because we live off our adrenaline, because the game
frees your spirit, because there is nothing like the party in the locker
room, because your invincible once you step on the ice, because a shot
can make you smile all night, sniping the twine, "Sniper", the battling
of the boards, the feel of the puck, and skates carving into the ice is a
rhythm to live by, because its possible to skate fast enough to leave all
your worries behind. Sweat is the cologne of our accomplishment.
Why? Why would someone push themselves so hard? It's not for the money, it's not
for the girls, and it's not for the fame.
We do it because we love it!