Im a cook at heart and Im a powder hound...what a great mix. My goal is to own a restaurant when im older and when im not cooking, ill instruct skiing. Im a guy who takes risks and loves to do dangerous things. cliff jumping (skiing or water), bungee jumping, playing with venomous animals and making a mean mean mean bolognese pasta...oooohhhh so so good...

True Friendship
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.


1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
9. This is my oath.....I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask."because you are my friend"


Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
And remember.. . When life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!!

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD ...

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD


Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.


You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit.


Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between
shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit,
horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when
the
shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some
days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times
when you feel like shit.


You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit
or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek
without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a
bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of
the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!


...Here's me and the boys, we pulled big red Roo truck up in front of McDonald's there yesterday. Big dual cab, full of garbage, shit everywhere. Truck drivers'll know what I'm talking about. Chip wrappers, coke tins, yeah shit everywhere - Full condoms with knots in them from your mum's house.

We filled up 2 big McDonald's garbage bins with the shit out of our truck. Manager walks out, he goes "what d' you think you're doing?" I said, "we're putting our McRubbish in your fucking McBin, mate, that's what we're McDoin'! And as soon as we McFinish, me and the McRowdies, we're all going in your nice clean McToilets and we're all going to pump a big McShit into each of them..- Give you back a couple McNuggets, you McFuck! Now get in there and make me a big McShitburger, and make sure it's got plenty of McMayonnaise! If it ain't McMayonnaise, you couldn't McFucking McTaste it and make sure it's gotta McSponge McWrapper McBun! I'll kick your McGarbage bins all over your pissant narrow little McFuckedup McDriveway - It ain't big enough for a McCar, I'll back me McFour-Wheel-Drive all over your pissant McFuckin McShrubs! I'll hook me McWinch on your McMenu and tow it to fuckin McFickle Harbour*! That's what I'll McDo! McFuck McOff back in there and get me a McBig McBreakfast that's McSmall! Big McBreakfast my McAss! It's a McMinute McBreakfast, with your McPowdered eggs and your McChemical McFeast! McFuck McOff back to McAmerica - coming over here and changing our McCulture! - It' ain't McFries, it's fuckin chips! it's ain't McFries, it's chips! If I McCome in here to-McMorrow and it ain't McChanged from McFries to chips, I'll cause you some serious McPain

Well, its a marvelous night for a moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
neath the cover of october skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And Im trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
And all the nights magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush

MUSIC: Bob Marley, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Matt Costa, Eagles, John Lennon, HIM, Led, Police, Queen, Ramones, Stones, Sam Roberts, Sublime, Tom Petty, Turbonegro, Van Morrison, Wolfmother, Zion I, Bob Dylan, Beetles, At the Drive In, AFI, Bad Religion, Aerosmith, ACDC, 28 Days, Steve Miller Band, Eric Clapton, Guns and Roses, Frank Sinatra, Pink Floyd..etc...etc

Movies: ummm....Lord of War, Children of Men, Pulp Fiction, Boondock Saints, Reservior Dogs, Hotel Rwanda, Band of Brothers, Saving Private Ryan, Borat, Wedding Crashers, Warren Miller, Ski Porn, Teddy Bear Crisis, Push, Hit List, The Godfather series, Fight Club, True Romance, Some Like It Hot, Die Hards, Finding Nemo, Toy Stories, The Shawshank Redemption, The Good, THe Bad, The Ugly, E.T, Ragin Bull, etc ...
I HATE LORD OF THE RINGS, STAR WARS, AND HARRY POTTER WITH A BLOODY PASSION!!!

1) Dont Freak Out
Whatever can go worng will. I've been stuck without bags everywhere from buenos Aires to Beirut - its all the norm. Instead of goin to the lost baggage or check in desk and acting like a crazy dick , go and make some new friends. Those people are there to help you, not to serve you.

2) Dont be so Canadian
I love my country, but when your in a foreign country, learn their culture. Drive in. If you are invited into someones home, go. Eat all the local food and drink their local liberations. I have eaten goat meat tartare in Lebanon, the crab brains and horsemeat sashimi in Japan and drank the Pisco in Chile(from what I can remember). Dont plan too far ahead, that takes all the fun out of it.

3) Dont sit at your own gate
You will see everyone enough on the plane. I recommend the international terminal. Look for cities like Stolkholm, Sydney, and Buenos Aires. Those cities have hot chicks. Go sit there, its much more productive.

4) Jet Lag
"Jet Lag" is probably one of the worst things to deal with being a skier. Party all night before your flight, dont sleep at all and get a ride to the airport. You will be so tired, you'll sleep the whole flightand be stoked when you wake up at your destination and its morning. Do the same on the way home, just because you can.

5) Bring Music
You have to have music. How else are you gonna to put the moves on that Swiss girlthat you just brought home from the bar? An Ipod with an electric mix of tunes and portable battery-operated speakers like the Altec Lansings or JBL's

6) Dont show your Valuables
If you have expensive gear, dont show while travelling. I had $22,000 worthof camera gear stolen in France because someone followed us to lunch from the shoot.

7) Dress to Impress
On the travel day, dress respectfully and smile. I know it sounds kooky, but I have gotten countless free international and domestic upgrades because I didnt look like a derelict. If you usually dress like 50 cent, think more Puff Daddy on the day of travel

8) Take a Camera
This one should be obvious, but im still surprised to see people out there without some sort of camera. Memories are the only thing that cant be taken from you and photos instill those memories. Make sure you take digital camera and before you leave, go to the rich people's neighborhood and take pictures of the houses, the cars, the pools, anything like that. Then when you are trying to seal the deal overseas, show her the pics and can say all that stuff is yours and she will be in your control from that moment on.

9) Flight Attendants areyour best friends
They are often good-looking and always like to party. They always have layover where you are going, so how convenientis that? They all party, and most of them are single, so go to work. We have had flight attendants stock us with the entire bar upon exiting the plane.

10) Always Ask
Always ask something when you see a cute girl. "excuse me , where is the internet cafe?" Even if youv'e been there 14 times, its always nice to have someone with an accent explain it to you. Eventually, they will ask "where you from?" The correct answer is California. Even if your from Michigan, its easier to tell her your from the the land of Baywatch. Hell , you caould even tell her its filmed infront of your house![/font][/font]

The Lorax learns you good...Beeyatches...



You may say I'm a dreamer









But I'm not the only one




COSTA RICA[/color]








RIVERS INLET
COUGARS WE RAN INTO....these things were huge...but calm




WHALES..ppl say these are gentle giants...but they are big pricks


That didnt scare me at all.....