cuz this is a good place to amuse myself when things are slow at work.

for those of you you that think I should get a life and not be on here...I have one thanks very much...why are you on here?

My day job might be boring and uneventful but I make up for it on the weekends and in the evening. That doesn't mean I am partying it up...it means I am going out and getting life done...working out...camping...skiing...scuba. I do have a life and I am enjoying it as much as my bank account and body will allow.

Eating a veggie burger is like having sex with a transvestite. It looks like the real thing, tastes a little funny and in the end you realize what you just did was very, very, very gay.

WHY is it that everything that tastes super amazing
(eg . Banana Slurpees , Apple Juice , Lemonade, etc.)
looks like piss ?

Dick's Lumber Supplies
Open at 6am for your early morning wood
(a real company in Burnaby BC)

Recently, beavers had a national debate on the renaming of their species. Due to overwhelming public opinion, the new politically correct term to describe them as a whole has henceforth been changed to 'vagina squirrels'

When I was young, the family dog was named "Stains". Sometimes he would run away from home so my mother would walk around the neighborhood calling out..."Come Stains"
She never understood why we had to move alot.

argueing over the internet is like racing in the special olympics, even if you win the race your still a retard

I was depressed last night..........I just needed a little love and understanding.so I called Lifeline.I Got a call centre in Iraq. I told them about all this and that I was suicidal.They got all excited... and asked if I could drive a truck...

Though the eyes may be the window to the soul, the zipper is the window to the underwear.