tasha:
"wholey fuckin shit dude
look at that nerd!!!
woah woah woah wait
is that cow on the couch holding the baby his wife?"\
(laughing)

mickey:
"wow your a bitch"
(shakes head)

tasha:
"well seriously i was just wondering how they got AROUND THAT to have a baby, he was prolly all like "hold on baby let me grab some jumbo sized close pins to hold ur fat back" hahahahahaha sick im a sick fuck!"
(smokes joint to my own head")



lol good one el bakeo good one

mom was allways the one to be there for me... to fight fer me
but..... i jus dont understand how the one and only person that i have trusted for my whole life
could be so complicated.


well i know no one will read this... and even if you do you prolly just wont understand
but remembering all the feelings..... of all those nights.... those nights.... that were just one huge break down...


there were so many times i couldnt help but look at mom when she had that angry look in her eyes... and all i could think was... why?

as a child every one has feers.... feers of the dark.... fears of being hurt... or feer of what happens next,
mom was the one who could take away those feers.... allways no matter what the feer was...

maybe thats why i just dont understand why i was so scared of her... not allways but some times... those times had rarely happened lately... but now im at that stupid age ...... that age when i cant only depend on mommy.... i have my own brain now.... my own... course.

theres allways a time when a person has to become independant from there parents... or in my case my mom... but why like this?

i remember mom telling me that because i was the oldest... i was kind of her "stress reliever" she said this after Randy and her had broken up.... i told her i understood but .... i didnt. i think i kind of do now....


mom dedicated a pink floyd song to me .... im kinda listening to it right now... i miss mom... i allways do. Only this has happened so many times now... that im sorta sick of still being dependant. i jus wish she wasnt so mad... and maybe we could talk...

it sucks... mom was all i had...the only one to lean on... the fact that my dad is so desposible... has allways hurt..but i allways had mom. so after she kicked me out.. people wondered why i was so depressed.... well as much as every one says they hate there parents... i cant remember saying that about mom... because as much as im upset.. i could never hate mom... how can you say you hate the one person who was allways there... who allways seemed to care... who baked cakes on our birthdays, made sure "santa" came even though she could barely afford to.... who allways put her kinds first... tought me all that i needed to know about life.... FUCK i lost that again... but if theres some thing ive lernt... dont ever take any one fer granted... you might loose them.



ugh mom... i wish u could read this...i know it doesnt matter but... i love you

I remember the days when we talked for hours
And we were young; we thought we had superpowers
We kissed the sky, expanded our minds, thought we could fly
We were dreamers, and we'd never die
We were young punks but we showed potential
Us against the world, we weren't sentimental
We weren't our problems, our age or our paychecks
And we weren't taking anybody's shit

If I knew now what I knew then, I'd
Back up do it all again, I'd
Take a bow, take it real slow
Take a ride down the yellow brick road

Knew now what I knew then, I'd
Back up do it all again, I'd
Take a bow, take it real slow
Take a ride down the yellow brick road

Come on, come on wise up
Come on, come on wise up
Come on, come on wise

The winters were cold but we had your parents basement
This underground was for sinners and we embraced it
Magic pills, fairy tales, Syd Barrett's ghost
Oh, we'd all get on that spaceship
We measured our lives in coffee spoons
And those Friday nights quickly turned into Sunday afternoons
We weren't our money, our muscles or our regrets
We were having a mere life experience
If I knew now what I knew then, I'd
Back up do it all again, I'd
Take a bow, take it real slow
Take a ride down the yellow brick road

Knew now what I knew then, I'd
Back up do it all again, I'd
Take a bow, take it real slow
Take a ride down the yellow brick road

I remember the days when we talked for hours
And we were young; we thought we had superpowers
We want our problems, our age or our paychecks
And we weren't taking anybody's shit

If I knew now what I knew then, I'd
Back up do it all again, I'd
Take a bow, take it real slow
Take a ride down the yellow brick road

Knew now what I knew then, I'd
Back up do it all again, I'd
Take a bow, take it real slow
Take a ride down the yellow brick road
Take a bow, take it real slow
Take a ride down the yellow brick road

Come on, come on wise up
Come on, come on wise up
Come on, come on wise

i wish there was some way we could just wake up tomorrow, and compleetly change every thing about us, but the only problem is i dont think i have the motivation or drive, let alone the means and back up to do it. I wish it was some thing that just happens but i guess i could work at it. i just dont know where to start, it seems all a little to complex for one simple mind to jus think its way into a new view a new personality.... well lets not take it that far, but a new out look. wouldnt it be amazing if we could just stop and decide to change our habbits, our values our morals all at once, over night, with out people thinking down on you for your choice to change yourself... if u could.... if u had the mind power to change your self over night... and be happy

ATTN


There has randomly been alot on Stashas mind today, it might just be the result of that planet she ate last night when she had turned into a space worm with huge fucking eyes
but maybe.... just maybe its more then that