I'm a tall, leggy blonde with blue eyes.

Stop laughing. Right now.

I just wanna throw this out there....BEER!!! Beeeeeeeerrrrrr! BEER!

Do it.
Do what?
You know, c'mon do it.
What, I don't know.
Do it, do the truffle shuffle!


NEWEST favoirte movie EVER--- Orgazmo (Mormon porn superhero!!!!) Yeah, you know you wanna see it. It ACTUALLY made my life, not gonna lie. It's like Super Troopers meets The Hot Chick meets what-the-fuck-just-happened. Love. It.


When I'm old and have a herd of my own, after the Moms and Tots classes and Pilates aren't cool anymore, I'll be one of those jolly moms who everyone loves cuz they always have the best food at their house. Then I can say, "I'm in shape, round is a shape!"


I live for the nights I'll never remember with the friends I'll never forget. Ladies...drink up!


I'm not confessing to anything but...





I AM pretty talented, not gonna lie...

I like the finer things in life...drinking, eating, sleeping, Family Guy. I'm classy like that.

Check that: I like drinking. Drinking likes me. It's a pretty good relationship.

Watch out for my stealth jacket...it's gonna get you [that JUST happened, did you see that, that just happened!]



The Five Secrets To A Great Relationship

1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, occasionally cooks and cleans and who has a job.
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable, respectful and doesn't lie.
4. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.
5. It is important that these four men never meet.


I want to move to Ireland, travel around Eurpe and eventually live in New Zealand. While I'm there I want to go ice climbing, sky diving, base jumping, scuba diving, and get my pilot's license. Yes that's right, I'm gonna have the best life ever!!

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WAHOOOO!! What a ride!"

My best pickup line: "Are you Irish?" "No." "Do you wanna be?"

"I let you live..what's that worth? Wait wait, what's it worth in MCCHICKENS????"

One day baby, one day...



I learned something new today. I thought dogs laid eggs. I didn't know that.





My Happy List:
-my Ikea lamp that built all by myself with POWER TOOLS! what!
-Panic! At the Disco
-running in the rain
-rugby and rugbyness -->you only know if you play
-Crunkfest 11: Air Bud (the party that just won't die!!!)

-PE 30-full contact!

-3am phone calls
- coffee, chocolate, sugar and any combination of those
-reminicsing with the fam
-flipflops, bed head, tank tops, shorts, and slurpee, the ultimate summer uniform
-McChicken Day, McNugget Day (I realize there's no McNugget Day so I just made every other day than Wednesday McNugget Day. yes Ben, I realize that's a fat comment, thanks, thanks a lot)
-randomly reciting entire scenes from Super Troopers with Britt
-heart to hearts over cheesecake, coffee, nachos, McDonald's
-speaking of which, McDonald's
-spontaneous outings
-my compulsive cleaning disorder
-my most excellent Shake n Bake
-falling asleep in the shower
-cuddling and canoodling
-illegal downloads, hooray for open file sharing!
-The Hot Chick- my 2nd most favorite movie ever
- Cyanide and Happiness!!!!!
- When I ate off of 4 (yes that's right, I said 4, stop judging me!!!) plates at Moxie's
-being hot in Britt's red convertible aka owning at life
-golfing...the starched pants, collared shirts, OPEN FACED BUNS!, what's not to like?


Brittany---> I love you!!!





My life, summed up....



Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost



My kickass backup...



Me in 5 years............................



"The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses-behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road long before I dance under those lights."
-Muhammad Ali


See I used to be smart...





Y'all know it's Laundry Day!


Party like a R O C K S T A R

Drink like a B A R S T A R

Fuck like a P O R N S T A R

All you losers who are addicted to your cell phones...