People down play mental illnesses, i have depression, and it is all consuming, you cant eat or sleep, you cant think, i have no happiness, everyday is a battle waking up and realizing im still alive, in my life. i was not okay for a long time, but i kept quiet, i felt embarressed. i was so alone, surrounded by people who were blind to my unhappiness. all they saw was the fake smile, they didnt see the tears behind my eyelashes. i resorted to drugs, like may people who have a mental illness, my life was about drugs then, drugs and sex, my boyfriend at the time was abusive, and it only made things worse, the little of myself i lost, he put me down so constantly, he was self absorbed, and selfish, i took the tiny light from my centre that was still there and put it out, i dropped out of school, because i also have social anxiety, and my life was him and drugs, i lied to everyone, just to get what i wanted, all my friends were the same fake assholes, numb from drugs, i had my bestfriend, who i told everything i l